TommyTBlog--"WORLD TOUR 2006, 2007, 2008, 2009? 2011-NOW 2012 and BEYOND!"

NOTE TO ALLIE ON THE VNA

2012-01-11T21:18:00.003-05:00

TO: THE READER

I am including below a note I wrote to my daughter last weekend in response to the fact that she is working nights at UVA Med Center in Virginia and I work days, so it’s been hard for us to chat since Christmas. She was wondering, as I heard, what I was up to here at the VNA (Visiting Nurses) and sure enough I sat down and reflected on the week that had just passed and shared some of my observations.

DISCLAIMER: This is truly a personal note, so read with that understanding and please take no offense if I have erred in any way and you were part of the week I describe.
NOW, this was a whole week so it’s long (perhaps essay is the correct description)and it’s reflective and it’s, frankly, a little bit of stream of consciousness knowing I’m writing to my daughter. SO, I invite you to read or not read as you choose, as this certainly isn’t required reading for anyone but my daughter. It isn’t finely tuned, it isn’t grammatically reviewed, it is simply me and my own poetic license, talking to her when she had a day off to read for herself what I’ve been up to in this fascinating world of healthcare. I’m sharing at large to give anyone else who perhaps is wondering what the new leader of the VNA has been up to.

If you ever wondered what the VNA does (obviously this doesn’t apply to employees!), or what a new leader trying to learn as much as possible at the VNA has been doing, read on.One week in the life…….

----------------------- ---------- Forwarded message ----------

From: tom thees <tthees@gmail.com>
Date: Sat, Jan 7, 2012 at 11:09 AM
Subject: Note to Daughter Allie-Boo, Saturday, 1/7/12

Allie-boo!!!

How r u!

Heard u had a great night out from Mom!! and.... we didn't get to talk and I know you are tired from your night shift in the hospital so I thought I’d write you a little note on my week and how I’m doing! I know you are doing great because I have a much better appreciation for what nurses do, and you're a nurse!

Anyway, this week I was in Newark, NJ at the New CommunityCorporation, an organization that basically tries to provide and empower the disadvantaged population of Newark. The NCC was founded by Monsignor Linder, who has been in Newark on this mission since the Newark riots in the late 60s and NCC is regarded internationally as one of the most successful community developmentprograms in the world. The Essex Valley VNA is now run by the VNAHG and we serve that community from our VNA--- We have incredible people and managers and nurses that administer all of the VNA programs in Essex and Hudson county, including nurses who care forpatients out of their cars given the uncertainty on patients livingarrangements in some cases. There was a nice story on this recentlyin the Star Ledger about our nurses out in the streets and serving the people---

http://www.nj.com/news/index.ssf/2011/11/newark_coalition_strives_to_tr.html

I went with a nurse on one (my second) home care visit to just get an even better understanding of what the nurses do and the challenges they have to provide the care they so lovingly give. We went into oneof the housing buildings and met with a patient and most of the time was spent trying to have the patient to better understand the medicine regimen he was on. The nurse bought (yes, bought, not brought) the patient a pillbox because she was hoping that would help the patient and his wife keep track of the medicines taken (or mostly not taken). This patient was a diabetic, so high risk, and his ability to understand was reasonable, but then he forgets when thenurse isn't there. Let's just say this; each encounter is meaningful,and each situation is unique.

Then I went with our head nurse to visit with Monsignor Linder. We had a great meeting with this interesting and incredible man, who has been spearheading the caring in Newark for over 40 years. We talked senior housing, health care delivery methods, community development (got a book he recommended by Illich called "Deschooling Society, as Illich was a mentor to Msgr.), and we talked about Bill and Hillary Clinton as the Msgr. joined President Clinton as part of his party to go to Northern Ireland in the 90s to bring that whole part of Ireland together. Amazing stuff, and then we talked some politics, as the Msgr has seen his fair share of it in Newark and this world. Me? I took notes. And I noted all the pictures and framed docs on the walls adorning his sitting room. Amazing.

OH! I forgot, I went into the Red Bank office first, and I walked into the first day of our 100 year celebration! There were balloons and car decals and our marketing team greeted everyone with a bigsmile and welcome update on our Centennial year celebration!. I put aVNA sticker on the car for good luck! I recorded and also sent a message to all employees welcoming them to our 100th year. Allie, we are going to celebrate the 100th anniversary at Ellis Island at a dinner Gala on Saturday, 6/23rd, and there are like 100+ volunteers already working on making this night happen. It is very important for the VNAHG to have a successful night as this is a key fundraiser in 2012 for the many programs we deliver to the community. Hopefully we will be able to tap into the generous and fortunate members of our community and the many communities statewide that are served by the VNA and make this a special night, but also a runway for some key funding.

That was Tuesday.

On Wednesday I went to Hainesport, NJ, which is out by Cherry Hill on I295, which allowed me a good 1 1/2 hours in the car to listen to my Frank Delaney book. I had breakfast with the gentleman who had just retired from managing our call center, and he had such an interesting background and enjoyable work experience in his career from Minnesota to California to New Jersey, where he came because he was doing so much work with Campbell Soup. Hainesport is where we have our Burlington and Gloucester county VNA (formerly VNHS) and also where we have our statewide call center----all the calls go there and I sat w a call manager named Rose and listened in on a few calls--- 700+ calls a day!etc etc -- /PS. Rose couldn't tell me enough how much she loves her job and the great camaraderie she and her teammates have in the call center.

I started that day in the team hospice meeting, and the team of nurses, therapists, music therapist, Reiki therapy, pet therapy and pastoral care were in the room with the two doctors who oversee the orders for care for the patients- I stayed for an hour but they werethere all day reviewing each patient and the progress/needs plan. Then I met the schedulers, whose job it is to plan the nurses and hospiceworkers schedule of home care visits (and home health aides and therapy people too)----lots to manage!

Then I saw the people who manage the Early Intervention Program--what's that? Well, the VNA has two counties (Burlington and Monmouth) where we are the care coordinators for EIP, which is for children 0-3yrs old who have some developmental disability to ensure they are receiving all the options and care/help the social services can provide them. Each case manager deals with approx 100 children and families, and what I found very interesting about this segment was that, in most cases, the nurses and caregivers here are part of aprocess where a child is making progress and improving due to our care/help in 90% of the cases. So they find it very rewarding to be with patients that are progressing (not to say all the others don't, but obviously in hospice this isn't the case, for one). THEN, we met with the home care and the grants manager. We apply for funding and receive support/grants to fund the community programs we administer (like Early Intervention), and we have very good relationships with a host of the county and state teams that are working with those programs. The home care for the region is similarto the rest of the state, but each geographic area has its unique population and demographics, of course, and each patient is connected with a nurse who provides the prescribed care in an incredible way.

And that was Wednesday from 9am-1pm!!!!

Then we came back to Red Bank to discuss some Medicare paperwork processing issues. All healthcare organizations deal with an immense amount of documentation that is both regulated and burdensome, but certainly some subset of it is absolutely necessary. So a great nurse is one who can provide the best care to patients with compassion, AND be technologically proficient to manage the documentation required both for providing that care and also for the organization to be properly reimbursed. It is, from what I see, an almost overwhelming burden on top of our main priority, which is of course caring for patients and responding to every request the VNA receives to provide care wherever needed, whenever called, regardless of circumstance, and give the best care possible. We changed a few things in that meeting to try to lighten the burden, so we'll see how that goes.

Well, then it was Thursday and I was in the office all day. I first met with my executive admininstrator to ensure I knew this person's role and tasks completely and also go over schedules and responsibilities.

Then I met with our human resources team to discuss our workforce at large and then specifically. We have four unions that we work within some subsets of the organization, and the HR team coordinates that relationship in addition to all the other standard interaction with employees. With nearly 1700 full and part-time employees, the HR team also deals with any and all problems that arise within the team including recruitment, training, and probably anything else one can think of. And guess what, employee orientation is on the first Monday of the month, so as a new employee I'll be joining the other 21 new employees in the last month for Employee Orientation. It lasts all day and the entire orientation team takes incredible pride in ensuring that the legacy of this 100 year old organization is shared with every new employee, so that the new employees start off on the right foot and know that each and every effort by every employee is important to the overall success of the organization. This business is encumbered by a planned reduction in revenue for the same service EVERY year. Every employee needs to know that it will take the entire team to succeed with annual Medicare cuts of 2-4%and cost increases of course due to salaries and other naturally rising costs of the business like rents and supplies. So each employee's dedication is essential, from the less than 10-20 people whojust started in December (that's me, for one) to the nearly 100 employees who have been with the organization for over 20 years of dedicated service.

We actually had two 20 year anniversaries yesterday, 1/6/12, and I thought it was nice thing to do to send them a note to congratulate them on their tenure and dedication, so I did.

I'm not Mrs. Christopher (my CEO predecessor), obviously, as I am very different with a different background and experience. I know shewas incredibly dedicated 24/7 for 29 years to the organization, so those aren't shoes one can fill. So, I'm just being me and assessing what I think are the important issues that I think the CEO should be dealing with, and I think I have the key 2 or 3 for the next month for sure. Away from that, I am focused on meeting every employee I can and learning as much as possible about what we do, how we do it, and how I can help support that effort as a leader.

Where was I? Thursday, noon, quick meeting with the CEO search committee via conference call to ensure all the committee members confirmed their calendars and availability for our planned meetings in February as we determine the next full-time leader of the VNAHG.

Then I met with one of those 20+ year veterans and the leader of allof our Community and Grants programs for the entire organization.T has been with the organization for many years, and has had a hand in almost every program and she started our Hospice VNA a very long time ago. I received further education on the variety of programs we have,including our Mobile Outreach Program (40 sites in NJ now), SeniorWellness, Global Options (case management to keep seniors in their homes) and TeleHealth (technology continues to positively impact ourdelivery of healthcare). Frankly, the meeting was way too short and I really looking forward to learning so much more from this gifted and giving individual. But, she had to go to a meeting with over 20 community program leaders from other organizations to further our efforts regardinga particular program that was available for grant.

And I had a meeting, too! My first meeting with all the Clinical Managers, the nurse and therapy team leaders. Of course everything is organized by teams and geography but this was the entire leadership team for our nurses and they are responsible for knowing almost everything about their team, the patients cared for, the workload and how the management of that is going. Remember, we never say no. No matter what time of day or night, holiday or Christmas! There are so many stories of our nurses (or their manager) getting a call and needed to get somewhere in a blizzard (like in Late October, 2011) with the help of our maintenance team driving them. Those nurses respond to the call at midnight that the IV fell out and needs to be reinserted and can someone come NOW? OF course, someone being one of our nurses goes and does that. Anyway, I watched and listened as every team reviewed their weekly and monthly census numbers including both the case outcomes and the business aspect of these cases (documentation counts, as I said earlier). Well, I enjoyed seeing the team engagement as the managers discussed some of the current challenges inthe field including patient outcomes and some technique improvements thatshowed progress in either process or management of their teams.

Okay, Thursday was also the day I started my juice cleanse that you guys gave me for Christmas, and I felt fine all day drinking 6 different juices in my effortto kick start a healthy 2012.

Friday! Last day of the week! I've slept well all week, and in addition I've eaten well or not at all and have had no drink other than water or juice. Quite a different week than my average 2011!Friday was another meeting day.

Had another meeting on documentation and our need to improve a fewprocesses. Sounds a bit petty, probably, for a CEO to be talking documentation? Well, without documents, we do not get reimbursed. Without reimbursement, we put our mission at risk. As nice and friendly as the state and federal government are, and even though weare a non-profit competing in a world with a host of for-profit homehealth care and hospice businesses, no one is going to come running to our rescue should we not manage our processes and deal with the challenges the regulatory framework requires. But Tom, don't other organizations have that same challenge? Yes, they do, except a host of those organizations can choose to use the word NO in response to there quest for care. If it isn't convenient, NO. If it isn't profitable, NO. If it is too hard to get to, too expensive, too burdensome today, NO. Not that they start with NO, and I'm sure our competitors do good work and in no way am I derogating their efforts. We CAN choose to use the word NO, as well; I'm just saying we DON'T. We DO NOT use the word NO. We use YES. YES in a blizzard, YES at midnight, YES if it is specialized care, YES if it is a simple visit, YES if you can pay, YES if you have insurance, YES if you can't pay. I know all the people at the VNAHG have an incredible respect for this, our mission, and part of our mission is to ensure the future of the care we provide, for many years to come. 100 years have passed successfully in that mission on 6/24/2012 (yes, it started 6/24/1912),and I join with this VNAHG team to ensure that ongoing mission for many, many years to come.

WOW, Allie, I'm almost done, but it's been a good week of learning and growing, which is how I think every week should be, wherever we are.

So, post that meeting I met with our outside counsel, to get his perspective and experience with the organization. He has been working with the VNA since 1990, so he knows well the history and the people and has been intimately involved in many areas over the years. We spent an enjoyable time together and he shared great perspective with me on the overall business of home care, hospice and the state of affairs in the business in general. We also shared some local stories of Belmar, NJ and high school years as we never crossed paths but certainly knew a few of the same people. It takes all kinds of skill and talents to effectively run an organization like the VNAHG, and I really respect the legal team (we have one other outside counsel as well), the accounting team, the technology team, and the host of other support services required to navigate the choppy waters of this business environment. All the while, paramount in our minds is patient care and the delivery of that care where it is needed.

Then I had a meeting with one of our board members. I'm trying to spend time with each board member and truly get an appreciation for each of their passions for the VNAHG so I can better tap into their knowledge and experience to further the organizations relationship with them. This individual has an IT background, but later in life went back to law school for a master’s degree in Science in Jurisprudence in Health Law!. Fascinating! We have an amazing board that spans the spectrum of experience from hospital executives, lawyers, IT specialists and consultants like R, and obviously a host of doctors, nurses, pastors and a few university officials as well as local community volunteers.

The organization is very lucky to have each of them, for sure, and I plan on spending individual time with each of them over the coming months. Wish me luck, as I got one in this week (but two last week!).

Then, I had a relaxing lunch with a good friend from Wall Street, who took the boat down from NYC to come and see me and my new surroundings. He shared with me how happy he was to see so many happy people givenhe met a few people in the building before he got to me. From our reception area greeter Doris (who has been with the VNA for? ..... let’s just say a very long time, she is our most tenured employee, in fact,) to the folks on my floor as well. He noted that it was just nice to see smiling faces and he tooknote that everyone seemed to enjoy where they were. We took a walk outside to look at the "100 year of Caring" banner on the side of the building, and then over to the river so George could see down the Navesink River and the absolute beauty of our Two Rivers area. It was 55 degrees outside at 1pm, so for 1/6/12 it was a beautiful walk.

George and I spent the time talking about people, how important it was to be happy, and how important it was for leaders to understand and deliver on their responsibilities (he's a leader, too, and he, like everyone, has his challenges in his business). I had a juice ! and hehad a turkey sandwich. It was great to see George, and he expressed how much NY missed me, as kind as he is. I told him I did miss New York, but I was too busy in New Jersey to have time to think about it.

Then, it was planned that we would go over a local Kitchen in Red Bank but we cancelled that meeting until next week, so that the right people would be able to get together and see how we can connect the served population of the Red Bank Community Health Center with Kitchen and its mission.

So, then, naturally, I met with our CFO to go over the numbers and the status of our documentation update. We know much better where our challenges lie, and we are well on our way to tackling this issue and putting it behind us.

I had some more juice, made some calls, and asked a few people why they were still here at 5:15pm on a Friday night? In New York, Iwould encourage and make sure everyone knew that you needed tohydrate, but I had a juice bottle in my hand so I didn't.

So that was this week, and that doesn't include last week or the weekbefore, and the Asbury Park Community Health Center, the High SchoolSPOT in Asbury we administer, the Bodman Hospice office, meeting withour lobbyist, our compliance team, our business development team, ourfoundation team, a few board members, AND my first home care visit witha nurse EVER in my life! etc etc etc---oh , and of course, writing of a few notes!
Good news for the employees my first note to say hello to them was much shorter than this, and it seems to have been well received! Too much more, so can’t do this every week allie!

All in all, I am truly enjoying my experience and take myresponsibility very seriously, as you can imagine. I know some people would regard what our nurses, home health aides, community program workers working with families, our in-school nurses and social workers and therapy workers do every day as a "job", but having met with a host of them and hearing and seeing from them firsthand the expressionthey have about their work I know that while it might be a job, it is the passion for that job that keeps them coming back. This task is just too hard without that passion.

So, that matches up pretty well with me and my passions. I am having fun, commuting about 12 minutes instead of 90 minutes, and drinking juice and well on my way to healthy 2012. I listened to some of your songs that you recently listened to on Spotify while typing(Carrie Underwood) this note, so Spotify and Facebook continue to invade and pervade our connectivity. That was cool!

Okay, so it is Saturday morning, and I've got lots to do before mynap! Have a great day and I'll talk to you when you have time.

GO GIANTS!

Love
Peace
Dad

TOMMYT DE-TOUR --VNAHG

2011-12-14T18:11:00.001-05:00

TOMMY T FREEDOM TOUR "DE"-Tour !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Colleagues, clients, friends, clients, teammates in JEF IG, CLIENTS, and the many people I have crossed paths with and have had the pleasure to serve from my seat as Head of Jefferies Investment Grade Credit;

Starting Monday, December 19th, I will be interim CEO of the Visiting Nurses Association Health Group. THE VNAHG(nj) CEO will be assuming the CEO role at the VNS of NY starting 1/1/12. VNAHG is doing a search for a new CEO, and i will lead that search as Board Chairman. I thought this was a unique moment in time, a once in a lifetime opportunity (or as you MS guys know it an "opportunity of SUPREME EXCELLENCE"), to step into the role and shoes and get to know the organization from the ground up instead of the board room. I am blessed to have this opportunity arise, and thankful that it has found me and I it.

Learning, leading, loving, a kind of "mini-sabbatical", on loan from Jefferies, who I ask for a leave of absence that has been granted and is supporting me while i work for $1 for my time as the active CEO and leader of the VNAHG. VNAHG, with its statewide partners, is NJ's largest non-profit home health-care and hospice provider from Cape May to Bergen County (2nd largest in the USA next to VNS of NY). The VNAHG will celebrate it's Centennial (100th year) anniversary on 6/23/12 at Ellis Island.

I wish everyone a Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays, Happy New Year, great MLK and President's weekends, and...? that should be about it and then I will see you all again come Q2 of 2012 as skinnier, healthier, and more knowledgeable but still in absolute AWE of the health care providers that do this work. I extend all the blessing of the season to you and yours, I will miss NY and the job I love here, but look forward to an incredible opportunity to associate even closer with an absolutely amazing group at the VNAHG. Who knows, I might have to blog a bit given the amazing experiences I am anticipating, all in admiration of the mission of the VNA, which 3 months from now I will know so much better than I already do. Camino 2!

See you in 2012!!!!!!!!!, and in the meantime, know my teammates at JEF will continue to serve our clients with the integrity and care worthy of our opportunity.

tommyT TT

FIND THE COST 'of Freedom"!!!

2011-08-04T03:35:00.003-04:00

7/27/11, and there I was once again at the Beacon Theatre for a concert for about the ??? 1000th time! yeah, that's about it, somewhere between 100 and 1000, from Robert Palmer, Hall & Oates, the month of March with the Allmans regularly, and the intermittent show by the SHOW STOPPERS of the day like Sade, David Bowie!, and too many to remember or recount--!!

and not far away was that bar where I first went into the New York club scene in 1978 where I went to see the Max Demian Band, and there I was with my brother the St. John's Pharmacy student and me standing in a crowd of about 50 people including this guy who looked like the guy on the cover of Ziggy Stardust!!! OMG, That's right, Yeah, I was 17yrs old and David Bowie and I were standing there watching the Mad MAX Demian band, and their album of "Take it to the MAX!" I'm like, Hey, that's David Bowie!!! And he looked at me, and he said,? "hey, are you "tommy toe?!"

Do i remember a song? I do, the name of the song was "Paradise" , and i said "GIRL, will we ever find our PARADISE!!!" so long ago, yet so easy to remembeR---

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FKnnxvr4SM0

So, Here I am fast forward a mere 34 years and so much has flown by, and so much music, and so many concerts, and so much of life, and its just a Wednesday night, and it's the Beacon Theatre, and the ALLMAN's are on stage in JULY! - A Hep-C benefit , and the second set is about to begin, and David Crosby and Graham Nash take the stage, and they announce that Warren Haynes wants to do a specific song with them--

and it starts!

"Find the Cost of Freedom", buried in the ground

Mother Earth will swallow you, lay your body down.............................

and I am there with a few friends, and I'm thinking "ok, this is a first!

But i'm so concerned that this song, this music, this era of sincerity won't be passed on to ???

to my kids, their kids, the meaningfullness, the raw energy, etc

People, NO one should grow up hungry, in need of basic necessities or care, but equally so NO ONE should grow up without knowing "Teach Your Children", "Find the Cost of Freedom", and so much more non-Bruce music that I'm in awe of all there is to educate and appreciate our heritage that follows us.

Bob Dylan, Gregg Allman, David Crosby, Richie Furey, Jerry Garcia, Don Henley, it just goes on and on, and not that the male gender dominates, as Carly Simon, Joni Mitchell, Stevie Nicks etc could just keep the list going.

I'm a bit melancholy tonight, this morning, easing into a GREAT vacation ahead, thinking of all that I have learned, asking myself if I am doing enough to ensure the appreciation for the next generation given how blessed we have been and we are--- without even mentioning my Life Road Map and Bruce!!!!

I going to do a lot of walking over the next week or so, and that in and of itself permits me the opportunity to give thanks for the "so much" I have been given, the "so much" i need to give, all the while still asking for continued blessings and safety and security of peace and space to , simply, appreciate

"Find the cost of freedom, buried in the ground,

Mother Earth will swallow you, lay your body down"

Walk this Earth, know that cost, appreciate those that have paid that price, and there but for the grace of God go ........ you n me

On the verge of a family union event (its not a reunion, its just a get together!), a vacation, with

my kids, family , friends, walking the Earth in Italy--

Happy summer vacation, appreciating, respecting, knowing what i don't know, one thing of which is the cost of freedom!

peace

HAPPILY EVER AFTER !!! WE CAN ONLY HOPE

2011-02-27T11:52:00.007-05:00

February 27, 2011.

"Let me riddle you a ditty, it's just an itty bitty, little thing on my mind", so the song I'm listening to starts.

Wow, I haven't sat down and written a note in it seems like forever, and part of me says it's because I'm getting "older". That is why I try and listen to as much "young" music as I can,

to keep my mind fresh in the sounds and feelings of new writers and new sounds and beats. Hopefully, a few of these new tunes kick in while I am doing my workout to stay young and fit and it ends up motivating me and getting me thinking.

Well, that is just what happened this morning. So there I was with my IPod Nano on the treadmill listening to the band "He is We" and their song "Happily Ever After" that was a FREE ITunes song last week.

And this "itty bitty" entered my mind, and here go my fingers a'typin'.

The song is about the story of a boy and girl and the desire to rush to the end of the story to see if they "end up happily ever after" from their current adolescent age. Also, the message in the song suggest that each of us has a story to tell, which is somewhat obvious, but also obvious is that we don't get to rush to the ending of the story to find out IF happily ever after arrives, "do I end up happy?" as the last line says.

Intertwined with this song was this weekend's newspaper readings and the multiple stories being told about workers fighting for their rights, their turf, their union, their community, the American worker. And on the other side of it is the Tea Partyers and their cries for fiscal responsibility and lowering the tax burden of the American people. Peggy Noonan of the WSJ chimed in with her version of "Crisis-ism", which she suggests all of these new freshman congressman and congresswoman are fighting in Washington, because the old guard that have been there for so long think this "crisis" is the same as all the others so there really isn't any crisis (refer back to my "term limits note of March 2010!). It's always about guns and butter, and this time is no different?

Well, people occupying the state house with both points of view in Madison, WI, Trenton, NJ, and Indiana suggest those status quo "no real crisis" interpreters might be off their mark this time around.

If you have kids, and those kids are involved in school activities of any kind, but especially sports, you know this time IT IS DIFFERENT. Because schools aren't funding programs we all took for granted 10 years ago, 20 years ago, etc. Crew team in town is self-funded, after school activity is "self-funded" (this means you and I pay for it in addition to our taxes that pay for everything else, by the way). Just one example, but across our state and nation the choices are becoming increasingly complex as our fiscal burden and taxing authority measure up versus the engine we all have taken for granted, the American economic engine (you did see that Deutsche Borse is buying the New York Stock Exchange, right?).

NOW, I'm completely appreciative that one who has grown accustomed to certain benefits, privileges, and salary and pension structure considers those benefits to be sacrosanct and expected, such that they are entitled to their rightfully negotiated and earned benefits and pay. Problem is, the people who signed those agreements, on behalf of the taxpayers paying the bills, were beneficiaries of the exact same framework they were promoting for the public employees, only their (the legislators and public official) benefits are even better.

So, on one side of this story are the loyal public servants and employees who have earned and expect to receive those benefits, no matter how uneconomic or burdensome they become to the public at large (what if football or _____ (fill in your child's favorite currently funded activity) became an "option" for schools in NJ. i.e. "We don't believe the state / nation is bankrupt and we want our money"!

On the flip side, a few usually silent voters showed up at the polls this past November and at these same Statehouses to suggest that their burden is too great, that they are tired of paying for someone to lock in their pension based on their last three years pay (usually planned and manipulated strategically with overtime/appointments etc, if possible) while the real working world has already moved to a funded and defined benefit system.

So here we are, and I'm listening to this song and the last few lines talk about ...

" We all have our story to tell, whether we whisper or yell", the song says, and we all would like to know how it ends.

I know that we all have our point of view in this story, but for me the time has come to deal with the fact that for 30 years at the state and the national level, Democrat and Republican, we have burdened these same kids, the ones who have dreams about it all ending wonderfully well and happily ever after, with an economic death sentence that will, this time, be the spoiler in the story.

I want my American dream, my life's dreams, to be theirs' too. And I want those dreams to come true. REALLY.

American worker, and American people, to me are one and the same. And, our kids are OUR kids, and we have irresponsibly burdened them beyond measure, and it is time to deal with it....

because I want to know, and I want to skip to the ending, and I want someone to tell me if THEY, our kids, "End Up Happy".

WE all have our story to tell: union worker, public legislative official, Governor, teacher, retiree, executive, self-made millionaire, recipient of benefits, payer of taxes: Do I end up happy?

Author of the moment, can you tell me?

TommyT ,

PS. Credit to "He is We" for the song and its lyrics which launched the thoughts, and whose lyrics are cited and weaved in throughout- and for the kids, mine and yours, who the note is dedicated to.

GIVE WASHINGTON BACK TO THE PEOPLE--MARCH 2010

2010-03-27T11:23:00.001-04:00

GIVE WASHINGTON BACK TO THE PEOPLE!!!!!

TO THE EDITOR; TWO RIVER TIMES, RED BANK, NJ

One has stop and wonder in awe how we are going to resolve and solve the variety of very significant and serious problems facing our cities, our states, and the nation. While it is clear we have recovered from the financial markets meltdowns of 2008, I would suggest we are in the eye of the storm and the next waves are going hit hard and furious and our ability to deal with the next segment storm is severely impaired.

Why? Because our democracy as we know it has grown into a colossus of special interests and influence peddlers aligned with an entrenched and "always running for re-election" political class that prioritizes election war-chests over fighting for the people and solving the current problems of the nation.

The problems are too large and growing (yes, we really do need to solve our healthcare, education, and the larger entitlement cost structure that is coming due in the next 20 years or sooner) and the obvious rational solutions always seem postponed with the current federal government construct.

None of this is free!!! We will have to pay.

We need a new approach with people who show up in Washington to represent us charged with solving problems with optimal, rational solutions, not constantly focused on re-election and special-interest funding support.

Democrats now, and Republicans before them, have shown a special knack for coming up with tremendously uneconomic and irrational policy solutions that happen to fit this or that group's aligned interest better than it solves any particular problem, or simply revert to the having and eating the cake with no regard for how we pay for it.

I'd like to think that most elected officials have original good aspirations for wanting to get into public service and public life. It appears to me that at this stage of our democratic evolution our government takes those original well-intentioned ideals and once inside the DC beltway those ideals get derailed or railroaded by the nature of what public office is today..

Today, its all about two things-- its about MONEY and getting RE-ELECTED!!. The only people who leave Washington once they get there are losers, or people who aren't sure of winning (Evan Bayh!).

Given the serious nature of the problems our republic is facing on social and economic fronts, we have wasted enough time (decades) watching professional politicians overstay their welcome in Washington and transform themselves from being for the people to wanting the people to be for them.

We have devolved into an inefficient, inept, and certainly partially corrupt government that is more focused on "winning" than "solving".

Win the healthcare debate , at any cost, including the veritable open bribes paid to the last two senator hold-outs from Louisiana and North Dakota and special deals for unions. Just one example. There are plenty of them (the Bridge to Nowhere!!)on both sides of the political aisle.

And who is going to tell those students in California that THEY have to pay more than they expected for the privilege of their higher education because of all the prior irresponsible spending that put California in such dire straits (NJ certainly not far behind). Someone running for re-election going to stand up to them?

We need real solutions and we need them NOW. We need the people who go to Washington with one set of ideals to be unmalleable in doing what is right LONG TERM.

I suggest we remove one of those two key drivers of today's politician and get people who show up in Washington to focus on finding long term solutions without being beholden to this or that special interest and the re-election money that comes along with that group's agenda.

Give Washington back to the people, and the only tenable way that can happen is to define that you only get to hold the federal office ONCE. 535 Senator's and Representative's for the people and by the people, and eliminate the theatre of the professional and lifelong politician. Charlie Rangel might have only two rent-controlled apartments if he were allowed one term?

Term Limits for the Senate and the House-- 6 years, one time only, then go back to where you came from (the real world) and live by the legacy of your one chance to make a difference because you can't have a second chance, and doing the right thing will be easier knowing there is no re-election war-chest to fund!!!

We need a fresh set of checks and balances for the media age for the two term-limited Presidency. One term Term-limits for congress are it-- leave the stars in Hollywood and Madison Square Garden, and let's get the people sent to Washington to not worry about "looking good" and actually start "doing good". I know some of them will miss the intoxication of power and rarefied air that exists around an officeholder, but we'll just have to suffer through without some of our biggest and most recognizable stars being senator's and congressmen.

Washington has lost it's way, and term limits are one thing we can do to impose discipline and get people in these important seats to always be thinking long term for optimal solutions, instead of the sub-optimal trade-off government we have today.

One-Term, One-Time, once in a lifetime chance to live up to the ideals and the legacy that our grandchildren will be proud to inherit.

Tt

BRUCE IS 60-HAPPY BIRTHDAY BRUCE

2009-09-23T18:59:00.002-04:00

Leave it to a good friend of mine to write this perfect tribute in words also perfect on Bruce's 60th birthday--- i added my own follow on at the end---this was an email exchange but is now part of the blog, because this "freedom" tour, or this "world" tour, and this path, this camino, would have been very very different these last 38 years (his album's on the boardwalk are my first memory so its 38 years ago for me)----

By Stevie D....

Subject: bruce is 60 - a reflection at this milestone in bruce's life i think of the effect he has had on me, my friends and family. the songs, the shows, the albums, the videos, the memories we have all had and created and shared and remember, set to his music. the images he created which are now the background, even the foreground to so much of what we do and have done. his music and lyrics are the fresco to the walls of who we are - one with them, interwoven and inseparable. do any of us drive with the sunroof open, on a flat stretch of highway, with the windows down, on a sunny day, in excess of the speed limit, without hearing Thunderroad, BTR, or Backstreets? can we ever leave for a night out, with the stars high in the sky, in anticipation of what the night holds, the possibilities, the desires and the blood racing through our veins like we are 16 again ,without hearing Night in our head? do we ever ride down route 37 past the "for rent" signs at what used to be bradlees, or the old hess station and not hear My Home Town? and is it possible to cross a bridge to a beach, anywhere on the planet and not hear Sandy in your mind? and are the initial three chords of Rosey ever, really, that far from the next piece of good news we will receive? no, i think not. and his version of Follow That Dream always brings me back to one of the greatest days ever.

So i think back to the august night in 1976 when my sister took me and some others to the show in red bank, at what is now the count basie theater where we have seen so much and had so much fun. and i remember she was in the 4th row, on the left, a seat i would have many years later when tommy and i had the opportunity to see a show when bruce performed, (i am not kidding) a version of "achey breakey heart." and i remember, like it was yesterday, that hot august night in red bank, the band coming out in the dark and kicking off with Night with blinding machine gun-like lights flickering to the opening, and i could not believe the energy and power emanating from the stage. it was to be a show that indelibly marked me as a disciple of bruce, preaching the word of the sheer, unadulterated power and fun which is derived from our beloved rock n' roll, to all who will listen and even some who won't. one of the great and memorable experiences which i continually re-live. and for that, among other things, i owe dor an immeasurable debt of gratitude.

I also think of all the shows in between - from red bank to birmingham (england, that is), to portland (oregon, that is). and when someone tells me they are a big bruce fan, and have seen a lot of bruce shows, i always like asking "on how many continents?" just to see the response. and you were all there with me - either physically or in spirit. it does not really matter. literally over a hundred shows - i stopped counting at 96 which was back in the early part of this century. and there is nothing like bruce springsteen and the e street band live - no matter the city or the continent. and the things we have done to actually get to the shows - well , that is an entirely separate dissertation which will remain for another day. another shining example of what his music means to us.

We are older, maybe wiser, and likely a little more thick waisted. but we still harbor the joy and memories which his music has provided. where it comes from, i don't know. but i hope it provides the same joy, pleasure and meaning for the next generation, our children and their children. they should be so lucky. keep rockin'.

to bruce - wishing him all the happiness and peace that heaven will allow.

and my follow up to Stevie's note---

You see, I was busy working making a call in Newark, NJ, so my thoughts were all convoluted and stuff and I hadn't written anything on this day when I received stevie's note--- and then I took the train into NYC and wrote this, the follow up, to Stevie's note--

Steve:

Powerful stuff- well delivered and so much reflection that it takes one back to the moment, and takes us away from this one-

For a moment--

Then again, we reflect, holy cow, we have come this far, and he with us, and we with him-

From hartford, to boston, to phili, to cleveland, to cincinnati, to Orlando, to Columbus!!, TAMPA, and don't forget Portland, or Seattle, or Los Angeles, or DUBLIN, or Madrid , to SANTIAGO!!!! And of course if we are remembering all of these then we can't possibly stop without saying BIRMINGHAM, England, a mere 10 years ago, to Pittsburgh, to Minneapolis, to Milwaulkee, to Chicago, to OAKLAND, to DENVER!!! And Washington DC, and DETROIT, and Baltimore, and Landover, to Richmond, To Phoenix,

(i'm still going!!!),

to Long Island, to Providence, to New York City from 6/12-7/1/00 (12 of 14 shows) and all the other days from 1976-11/2009!!

Have I remembered them all?

I think not.....,

to Asbury Park, to Red Bank, to East Rutherford, to SEA BRIGHT, to Homdel, ......

to NEW JERSEY!!

Yeah, i'm remembering it all, and it all is part of me, and us.

I have most of the ticket stubs, and yeah, its been so much and so many and for SOOOO long I probably missed a city or two,

BUT I just have to say,
and I just have to say,
and I just have to say....

Happy Birthday Bruce!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! BRRRRUUUUUCCCCCEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!

AND RAISE YOUR HANDS!!!!!!

To many more, for as long as its lasts and wherever it takes us, I am THERE!!!

TommyT

Friday in Spain- It's just a walk!!!

2009-07-31T17:49:00.001-04:00

The walk just seems long and arduous-- must be the backpack because my back is fine -- now its the muscles in my toes that are asking for a break!!! And I am going so slow even I tink I'm slow!!

We met a nice girl from Estonia who spoke perfect English because she is studying in Scotland and might do her phd at Berkeley!! Elo from Estonia, about 6'2"!!! We had a nice chat and then I asked Elo to espouse on the meaning of life!!!

She said she, partly, is taking the camino so she can, and she feels is the key to life to for her, to figure out what it is she wants to do, to figure out what others want her to do, and to be able to recognize and see the difference going forward!!! And then choose for herself!!

She also made a point of letting matt know this is a personal definition, and everyone is entitled to their own!!!

Then she turned the tables and asked me the same question--- I told her she'd have to read my blog because it is all just too long for a one day walk--- but in a nutshell my thoughts revolved around acknowledging the gifts we have been given, and then using those gists to the best of our ability to spread love in the world!!

So, we're just walking but got into a nice groove with Elo!! And the clouds provided great shade from the sun so never too hot, but my body continues to reject the notion of walking 15 miles a day after 18 mos back on Wall Street at a desk!!

It feels good now, though. Matt and I are at the bar, its 11:17pm and all the pilgrims are asleep, but we are at the bar watching Real-Madrid play Juventos in the peace cup soccer/football semifinal.!!! When in Spain!!!
We had a great traditional Galacian dinner at a Pulporia in Melide, our resting stop for the night. Pulpo, Octopus!!!! Matt got some great pictures I'll put on the blog of the Octopus cooker and the Octopus, and yes we had it and YES, its outrageously good here in Galacia region of Spain!!! An we followed that up with the traditional "Tarte de Santiago", which Matt originally thought was boring but now is loving!!!

Another somewhat cool thing about the walk is how I am remembering the same steps from 2007 and letting Matt know what is similar and what is different, and even what songs I was thinking about or why!!! I remember so much, so many things, of my last walk that are coming back to me fondly during this walk. Some I share with matt, some I don't. He is just amazingly rolling with the punches, walking and not complaining or anything. Not that he should, as he sees this is a great, great experience.

Tried to get Matt to go back and forth with me on Beatles songs but he declined to sing out loud-- I sang "yellow submarine" at the top of my lungs, then he "named" Sgt Peppers but wouldn't sing it!!! No one around for a mile, but he declined to play--

We've established on musically educational thing, however--- matt can name and knows the four Beatles--- I just so took it for granted that everyone knows that but last night singing a George Harrison song it was clear that Matt didn't have the whole Beatles history, so we did a "Ed Sullivan, Let it Be, the Dakota 1980 and Central Park memorial, etc learning lesson for Matt!!

It is, in my opinion, important for people to know the Beatles-- their songs, their history, etc--- one of the foundations. I'm big on the B's!!!! Beatles, Bruce, Bob ( as in Dylan!!)

So we had dinner tonight with another German who is doing his second Camino, and then we met.....
AMERICANS!!!!! OMG-- yes, there are a few scattered here and there so we met 3 (2 from nyc and one from Colorado)!!! So a first for us!!!

So, walking, talking, matt thinking that maybe he'd do the whole Camino, but thinking it depends on which girls are on the camino too!!!

2nd half of the Real-Madrid game is starting, 1-1 tie right now. This reminds me of the time we all went to a place in Arosa, Switzerland one February break because I had to be in Zurich for the end of the week. It must have been 2000, and Matt is 7 years old-- and everyone is exhausted, and the girls go to bed-- and matt and I are playing pool at 2am in Arosa and there is a band from California playing surfing music and we had a great time-- so I guess this is an outgrowth of that--- the kid likes to stay up late, is negligent of time zones, and is one hair closer to being taller than me tonight than yesterday.

The meaning of life???? Okay, we didn't solve that one today but I think we established some nice guidelines and Elo's thoughts are just fine if Matt follows that path--- the one where you truly define and find what you love, and then you go and do it for you, which ultimately will always be for others, because "loving what you do" has to do with serving!!!

Peace
From Melide, Spain, Pulpo capital of the World!!!!!! And Matt's truly first Octopus experience!!!!! And his first live televised soccer game from Spain

And his first Camino--

And his only dad!!! Proudly watching it all-

Peace
Tt
Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

The view from our dinner table tonight -PIX

2009-07-30T14:06:00.001-04:00

Up the river Mino --

Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

"This Week" on the Camino de Santiago!!!!

2009-07-30T13:57:00.001-04:00

So much is happening this week on the Camino!!!

First and foremost, our arrival in Spain coincided with the Catholic feast day of St James the Greater, none other than Santiago himself!!!!. Yes, Saturday, July 25 was our arrival and his feast day.

And then, to boot, tomorrow, July 31, is the feast day of St Ignatius of Loyola, the founder of the Jesuit's and a Spanish born saint!!!.

So two themes from these two items stand out for me this day-- and go together well to express what I was thinking of today, and chatting with Matt about a little-

"Ad maiorem Dei gloriam", for God's Greater Glory, theme by which the Jesuit's with St Ignatius were founded on.

And then I read the gospel reading from the mass for the day of St. James--- from Matthew 20:20-28, but I'm cutting it short to capture the point-
From Matthew-
" But it shall not be so among you. Rather, whoever wishes to be great among you shall be your servant; whoever wishes to be first among you shall be your slave. Just so, the Son of Man did not come to be served but to serve and to give his life as a ransom for many."

So there in a nutshell is a philosophical approach to life that in my experience makes all the difference in the world whether you are spiritual or not--

To serve is a greater calling than being served, and to approach life knowing their is a higher power that is greater than you, that if one can weave these two themes into their daily camino, their path, then it is hard to imagine going far off course.
--

As a currently employed professional I find it especially important at this stage of our economic development that leaders are aware of and have respect for these themes.

Not to be the biggest, but to serve an important role-as big as one can!!using the gifts God has given us to serve.

To win providing that service, but not at the expense of the whole world for one's own profit, for to forget the Greater Glory is to assure one's own destined destruction.

And my, haven't we seen enough of that over the last year or two.

So matt and I had a chat about all that.

Then, a little while later on our walk I asked matt-

"What are you thinking about"?

Not that I could predict the answer? But a few thoughts sprung to mind--!!!

World peace? Nah!!

Praying for the world?? Nope!!

What I want to be when I grow up? Nada!!

Matt had the perfect answer for the day--
He said "about how great Bruce is going to be in Santiago on Sunday"!

I thought that was a good and righteous answer!!!! And then I thought how great its going to be too!!!

It's been great walking with Matt, sharing a little expounded philosophy (mine, the Jesuit's, the Gospel of St. Matthew), but its also been great just walking.

It's that simple, yet it takes a long time to walk what would take a car ride a mere 30 mins/hour. We covered about 15 miles walking, and we covered other stuff too.

So we stolled into Portomarin at 6pm today after 8 leisurely hours on the trail today, me wanting to get all this down so I can remember it and matt wanting to arrive at the albergue he's selected for the evening (his choice tonight). The weather is spectacular, by the way.

And so is the company.

From Portomarin, at the albergue Mirador,

Tt

Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

Matt taking a break- PIX

2009-07-30T10:00:00.001-04:00

Matt at a cafe in the countryside approaching Portomarin. Mercadoiro, Spain
Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

Long day, short note!!!!

2009-07-29T17:39:00.000-04:00

Who said "it was all downhill"?

We're at 700 meters from 1350, but both of our bodies feel worse tonight relative to last night after the climb.

Just a walk, and some talk, and no special hat coincidences or anything special, or was there? From O'Cebreiro to TriCastella --Met a 7 year old boy who's been walking since Le Puy ( started 1200 km and 3 months ago)-- so that seemed special. Met a couple last night and gave them some wine and THEN found out their getting married in September , then saw them again today and plan to tomorrow too!!! So that was special.

Made it down the hill in one piece, and the mountains of O'Cebreiro are no longer blocking the Atlantic Ocean air so a cool mist started the day and cool/cold was how we felt all day even in the sun!!! Special.

Lastly, sat down for dinner in Old Town Sarria-- opened up the paper on the table and saw that today's "La Progresso" daily paper had a story about??? THE 7 Year Old boy!!!!!we're on a roll, and so we saw a fellow pilgrim sitting down to eat alone, and I let matt know we should invite her to eat with us as fellow pilgrims. He say's sure (and that is absurdly special!!!).
So Muirenn (sp/ Gaelic) says sure she'd love to join us and I comment how nice it will be that not only will she join us BUT since she is Irish and speaks english we'll actually be able to converse with her too!!! Special!!

Did we know that beforehand? Absolutely not, we were just open to it.

So we discuss Ireland, U2, our trip, her trip (she's just arrived on the camino tonight and will walk the Sarria- Santiago route over the next 5/7 days. We only have 4 left so we'll move a little faster hopefully.)

And we talk about other adventures she's had, and she worked in Dumont NJ one summer, and she's been to south america and did the walk to Machu Picchu-- and she tells us all about the walk and the Inca's and how SPECIAL their civilization was--

And then she is off to her albergue and we are off the our stop for the night. And on the way back I might have mentioned to Matt how fortunate we were to have invited Muirenn to dinner and now with we know about Inca's then before and Muirenn knows why Dublin ran out of Guinness on Friday night!!!!

The experiences are there, wherever you are, and so are the peope, if YOU are open to it. Not JUST on the Camino de Santiago, but "any" and "every" where. "Any" and "every" person. Seek out the special"ness" of each person you meet or interact with. Its a great gift to uncover.

A shorter note, and challenging, but special, day.

From Sarria, Spain-

Tt
Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

San Roque, Pilgrim Statue matt & tom PIX

2009-07-29T05:39:00.001-04:00

At the Alto de San Roque, pilgrim monument-- in the clouds and mist as the sun has yet to burn the morning clouds west of O'Cebreiro. One last climb to go and then its downhill for today.
Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

Matt-Tom O'Cebreiro clouds.jpg

2009-07-29T02:00:00.000-04:00

Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

O'Cebreiro and O' So Much More

2009-07-28T16:49:00.005-04:00

Tuesday, 7/28th! Writing/assembling all these thoughts on top of the mountain at O'Cebreiro---

Rusty fingers, but here goes as the thoughts were alive and while work kept me up last night it did not occupy my mind today--neither would it have yours had you been and seen where I was today--

Okay, so we spent last night in Ponferrada and one key objective was to ensure that my lower left back stayed connected to the rest of my body well enough to carry the 20lb backback (lighter than 07 but next time one pair of clothes and other stuff).

Matt and I are up and out early despite the inability to get to sleep earlier for whatever reason--
After a great day walking to Astorga and a light day walking to ponferrada we are prepped for the great challenge for the climb to the mountaintop of O'Cebreiro. I tell Matt that this was the most beautiful and special of views of the whole Camino and that last time there was a final stretch of 2 miles that we got a ride in a car because it was too late and Pepe (Spanish Gasoline man) and I couldn't see where we were going and didn't want to fall off the mountain (and the car hit he wild pig etc etc etc-man have u got stories!!).

So we are packed and ready for a heavy workload and the backpack feels pretty good on my back as we advance toward our starting point in beyond VillaFranca (beautiful village that will have to be seen next time as we only have 8 days of walking and I want matt to get into the rythym of the camino, walking and talking and reflecting, should he have that desire.

Funny thing is he seems to be enjoying almost all of it. He was in awe of the bridge at Orbigo, and is reading our guidebook and wants to know where and why I'm selecting the sections we are walking before we finish the last 100 miles straight into Santiago starting tomorrow. That book was home for two months on the counter, next to his dinner plate, handed directly to him on occassion over the last two months and nothing got him to open it. Here, he's pratically carrying it-- even reading some of the history of the places we are visiting and already making plans to visit the camino again when he gets older and can bring a more age appropriate friend and meet other age appropriate friends of the opposite sex without his father (he suggests 18/19 as the perfect returning age. And he barely has a full day under his belt.

Spain is experiencing a heatwave and its mucho calor!!! , even Bruce is on the news in Spain with picture "on the beach to cool off from the "mucho calor" in Spain. Matt? He's telling me walking on gravel for 15 miles without shade (that's the Astorga trail) in 90 degree heat is pretty cool. At the end of day one he even said "I can't believe you walked all of this!!" But no less amazed he was also fully comprehending the ability for anyone with the purpose to simply take "this walk".

So we start today and sure enough opportunities arise immediately as we realize we didn't fill up our waterpacks inside the backpack and stop at the first village fountain to fill up. We say hello to a couple from Germany, and he notice my big toe sticing out of my Teva sandals and suggests "that's not good" in english, but I set him at ease by showing him the two sizes of sneaker. Strapped to the backpack and tell him "it is normal". We then notice a walking shade hat on the bench next to our backpacks and inquire is the hat their's, and they respond no.

And I explain to Matt as I tie the hat to the rear of his backpack that he has found his first "purpose" on this Camino, to provide that hat back to its owner who cannot turn around and only hopes a fellow pilgrim might carry it to the albergue (more on this later) .

So we walk, and the first song that pops into my head is a Hall n Oates song from their Abandoned Luncheonette Album (1974) and I sing a few bars for matt of "I'm just a kid don't make me feel like a man" because I think the song might have some application since it popped up and I'm with a kid so I try singing to remember-- fortunately there are no walkers nearby and matt gets a history lesson on the first concert I ever went to -- age 13 at the monmouth arts center with my brother jerry and his first wife (I ask matt if he knew Jerry had a first wife and he didn't think he did, and yes his 2nd wife is doing fine thank you twenty five plus years later)!!!

I tell matt I missed a championship pop warner football game because of that wedding!!! I tell matt that we were winning at the half because my mom told me she would get someone to call me at the half-- score ? Toms River Little Indians 22- Matawan 6, but I didn't have a good feeling cause I wasn't there, but I usually did what my mom or dad told me so I then ask matt to guess what the final score was?? He guesses 23-22 ?? !!!! I say almost right, as we lost 24-22. Ps. We didn't lose cause I wasn't there playing like I was something great (played right tackle and in 1973 they were a dime a dozen!!), to be clear, we lost cause I was not present, not so much playing just present-- same reason GTown 1985!!! Was I there in 1984 in Seattle? You betcha!!! What happened in '84? They won!! '85? 82? Lost? Patrick Ewing at all three games!! Tom Thees only made one of them!!! They won that one!!

I digress, severely and in jest mostly-- see, only two days on the camino and the mind expands from wondering what's happening in CIT financial world explosion to 1973 in a jiffy. 1973, the song--

"I'm just a kid (don't make me feel like a man)" sung mostly by john oates, trying to coax a girl (perhaps in a bar?) into "talking with him"

Words are--

"What's your name"
"Just talk with me"
Won't you talk to me?
Will u survive?
Learn to drive?
I know you can't describe the dreams you
want to be?

And then it's "walk with me? " "Won't you walk with me? and I'm trying to sing the song about someone trying to coax someone else to talk and walk with them, and while the song is NOT about a father and son (clearly not, I might add) I unilaterally arrogated (usurped/highjacked!!)) the smooth and soft groove of the song for my own purposes here on the Camino and it worked pretty well.

So age 13 at the monmouth arts center (now the Count Basie Theatre in Red Bank, NJ!! Where I think I've been 1000 times since!! For Hall n Oates, Bruce and everyone else except U2-- even James Brown!!! Can you dig it.
And I tell Matt all this---

So matt and I are talking and walking and he's leading I'm following even though I've been here before and he'd be "lost" without me???? No, I don't think so, not here, not on this Camino, as there are pilgrims walking everywhere and yellow waymarks guiding the path and, as I told you all before on the last Camino and proceeded to tell matt when he even suggested one of my town detours yesterday was going to get us lost-- I let Matt know that "one is never lost" on the Camino.

"Never lost, and never alone"!!!! Even in your darkest hour on your durest, hardest walk, this is true, if you let it be so and know it to be so. But you have to be open to it, and you have to be going slow enough to allow the light in.

So matt, all 5'almost 10" barely a shade of hair shorter than me at this point, and all 150 whatever lbs of his swimming/tennis body is walking just fine, straight uphill, for 6 hours!!!

Me, well let me give you the updated description I provided to the frenchman Jean Michael who has been walking since June almost fell over when I told him we were Americans (first one's he's met in 4 weeks!!), let alone a father and son--

See Jean Michael has been to America once, to run the NYC marathon in 2007 and he's going back in 9/2010 to run Chicago he says--

I tell him I ran nyc when I was 50 lbs lighter and 10 years younger, and this particular walk right here with my son was my recommencer!! My recommencing with my own body to take it back and get it where it should be (at least 30lbs lower, with 10 of them off today!!)

So I'm 50 lbs heavier than 10 yrs ago and I'm carrying a 20lb backpack, and the body carrying all this is working just the way God intended it to but definitely could use some particular TLC from its current and only user!!and THAT is the reason Matt is leading and I am following!!!

So we walk, and we talk!!! Nothing too deep, and I don't need anything other to just know Matt and I have a bond, and its not growing weaker, on this trip. Some of the things I say, the directions I take, the statements I make, they appear to have some resonance with my son, walking near/next/in front of me. Like I actually make some sense in ways he never imagined before!!!

"Wow, this trip is cool!! Wow, you must be cool!!!". This is so crazy its cool, and you're so crazy you're cool, and all these people doing this thing with backpacks in Europe-- THAT's COOL".

That, mostly, is what comes out of Matt's mouth, not exactly, and perhaps I'm taking some interpretive liberties here, but I KNOW he's cool!!! He almost can't imagine I can compete!!

He's also checking in with me, as we head up the mountain, all day in fact as he can hear me breathing like an earthquake, and asks "how I'm doing"? And how's my back doing? I say I'm fine for an out of shape hiker, and he say's .......?

"cool"!!!

And today's trail is truly one of the more peaceful and tranquil in all the world, such that when we come upon one village out of nowhere matt asks?? What do these people do? And I say these people farm and eat what they grow, and they and their ancestors have been doing it on this land, this way, for centuries, and don't need any stinkin internet or much else should they desire to stay here in these hills-- their call.

And we ascend about 5000 feet toward O'Cebreiro and matt wants to know why when we need to go up someone created a trail that actually goes down before it goes back up sometimes??? A lot of times, actually, but this is the only part he's seen and he thinks its kinda funny that I had guys come out here and paint yellow waymarks on the down trails to throw him off---of course that's not true and he know the shape I'm in I am not looking for extra steps this Camino.

Imagine robin williams telling the story of the creation of Golf, in a bar in Scotland?? Seen that one on HBO a decade ago? Oh, put the ball in the hole with a stick, like pool!!! Yeah, except we'll put the hole about 400 yards out there not on the pool table!!!AND, we'll do it 18 times!!!

Okay, now you are with us??--

And then Matt starts laughing and says that wasn't smart and the Camino creators could have been more industrious and efficient.
And then he goes into a Robin Williams " I got it, we're up here on the mountains kinda bored and its like 900 AD, so let's build a trail straight up the mountain, and let's call it a Camino and tell everyone that their sins will be forgiven and stuff if they climb straight up that mountain, and then let's put a bunch of downramps on the trail to make em think the down parts are part of the trail too--- up down up as opposed to just UP!!

oh, oh, oh, another ancestoral mountain man chimes in, we'll watch em do it one day and laught the whole time!!

NOOO!!!!, the creator chimes in, we'll do it all over northern Spain and make walk clear across Spain--like the 40 days 40 nights thing!!! yeah, let's build it all the way to Santiago and we can tell em the pilgrimmage is not not complete unless they walk all the way to Santiago--

Yeah, that's it, we'll call the trail thing the "Camino de Santiago"!!

So matt and I are laughing so hard we have to stop and I have to catch my breath before we ascend further, and see more of this beautiful land that Matt has never seen before.

And ascend we do, sweating and breathing in full tilt!!! But it is quite a day, to be sure, and we finally arrive at the city walls, and I start wondering why they needed walls up here (who's coming up here?) but go with that and start singing a few bars of "these city walls, these city walls" "only to be with you, and I still, haven't found, what I'm looking for " as I am fresh from U2 in Dublin.

Okay, that's it for the day-- good night.....

What? There's more??? How could there possibly be more, you ask?? And will the day end? As it is Spain and dinner isn't served until 10pm and the Sun barely goes down before 11pm!!!

Okay, yes, I'll finish the story but my bbery crashed right here so I have to recreate it as this part wasn't saved--

So the city walls open up and we enter the village of O'Cebreiro, and we find the albergue, the same one I stayed at in 2007 except this time there's going to be 100 people sleeping here versus 6 in November 2007!! From all over the world (except, of course, America as we're the "it's" from New Jersey!!

And matt hangs outside with the backpacks and I go to the window to check in and pay the 3€ Euros each to stay the night. We aren't too late to get the bunks next to each other, although most of the people here will be sleeping next to and hearing strangers all night!!!.

So I go out to retreive matt and the backpack and he and a couple from Denmark are laughing it up and all smiles.

Seems Anna Marie and Hans had stopped at a water stop and a fellow pilgrim handed Anna Marie a banana to share so she put her HAT down on the bench--- but it was shady so she forgot it and was too far up the mountain to turn around when she realized.

So she said a prayer that some smart pilgrim would retrieve and bring it to the albergue, AND she said another!!! prayer that she would RUN INTO the hat-saver when he/she got here!!

And so Matt's small purpose in this world today was provided ever so simply, yet the message, the lesson, the triumph of such a simple gesture of caring and how important it can be to someone else is unmeasurable, isn't it!!!!

Its like the Camino I knew all over again, and now I've got proof I'm not making this stuff up. It just happens when you are going slow enough to see it.

And so in O'Cebreiro there exists the oldest church actually on the camino--

we went to the 9th century church Iglesia de Santa Maria Real, and we gave thanks-??!!
- ok, I'm not sure what matt did or said other than his presence there, and if he shares it with me and invites me to share it with I will.

What I did, when I was inside the small iglesia , was say a prayer that Matt's small purpose today will translate when he sees and has the opportunity to serve larger purposes, that he will be as protected and safe as he was today. And I did two other things, one I was conscious of before the trip and the other not so much--

I prayed for the speedy treatment and recovery of the person I am thinking of on this Camino (and now incorporate the person you are thinking of who needs those same prayers) and also I said a prayer for all fathers, the world over but especially those I know and myself, that they/I enjoy the journey on the camino of life with their sons/daughters wherever it takes them and they go slow enough to experience the feeling of being solo with their offspring for a good amount of time, slowly, so that what can and should come out and rise to the top does so.

So, from the top of the world, O'Cebreiro, on a trail in Spain, sleeping in a building in bunk beds with 98 unknown pilgrims, and my one and only son, and thinking that if my simple prayers tonight were answered than all would be right in this world- !!!

Peace
Tt

Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

U2 and the Camino begins

2009-07-27T03:55:00.000-04:00

7pm flight to dublin Thursday night- 7/23rd
7am arrival in dublin--friday morning

Lunch with Shane (former MS) and Cathil at Town Grill, and friends ritchie and nancy join us too. In no uncertain terms we laugh very hard throughout lunch as Irish humor rules the day. Matty gets his first sight of what it is like to truly tell stories as Cathil gets into the Irish storytelling mode. ("Tonto Murphy").

5pm-o'donoghue's pub for first pint of guiness--Danny and larry catch up with us there!!Last pint of guiness consumed around 4am.

In between we head over to Crote Park and await U2-- they come on around 8:45pm on what turned out to be a glorious, sun-filled night in Dublin. The sky directly behind the band never darkened the entire night.

The stage arrangement was unique, large and visually very impessive-entertainment at its best with some great music alongside a host of their new songs (One, Beautiful Day, With or Without You, Matt's FIRST Day in Ireland in his life and he get's to hear "Sunday Bloody Sunday" !!!, City of Blinding lights). The seats were great, but it was a massive affair with all of 80k people.

Then it was cab to the bar at the La Stampa hotel where matty went to ricthie/nancy's room and crashed for a few hours--

I went with the crowd to the next place (it's now about 2am)-- some row house that opens up into this giant mutilevel outside club (Krystal?) where we had a great time with Shane, Dan S, Nicholas and friends (ritchie and nancy still going strong!!). --cab back to pick matty up at 4am and back to shane's to get our backpacks (we left our raincoats on his couch so we guarantee ourselves sunshine) to the airport for the 6am Ryannair flight to madrid.

Ryannair cattle car lifts off and touches down like clockwork. But, to be fair, I've never slept better on a plane then I did on this flight-no wonder as it is now Saturday at 6am and I haven't slept since Friday around this time.

Arrive madrid 8:30am and cab to train station for 11am fast train, but it is full, so we take the 11:30am regular and arrive in Leon, Spain at 4pm--
Hostal Guzman at 4:45 pm (walked there from the train station with backpacks for the very first True camino steps on this trip!!!

Had a nap and will now have some dinner and take in a saturday night of watching families stroll in spain in the lovely Cathedral Square in Leon.

A lovely sight

Sunday, Domingo, July 26th-

Our first day of walking, and it is beautiful. We commence in San Martin toward Astorga for Day 1- We walk through Hospital del Orbigo and Matt is truly appreciating the ancient bridge at Hospital and the legend of Don Quixote that lives here. We lunch in Hospital and I am remembering the last time I was on this walk like it was yesterday. I tell Matt as we approach Santibanez that this is the town where I saw the only full court basketball court on my trip, and sure enough there it is (grass needs some mowing, but its not b-ball season, is it). We get ready for the next 4 hours of walking with a water refill as it is about 90 degrees of HOT on the trail. I am watching Matt walk ahead as he's 16 in great shape and is on cruise control taking a few pictures here and there. Only dy 1 but I sense he gets how special this walk is and its not complicated between us. Not much talking, one foot in front of the other, and the weight of the backpacks is starting to wear coupled with the beaming sun and the hardpacked dirt and gravel trail.

We meet two couples from Maijorca, Spain who are also on their first day of walking, and we are both in awe of the "mucho calor" that we are struggling with on this afternoon. Where are the rest of the walkers, the pilgrims? I tell matt is my guess is they know days like this are meant for early starts and finish as the afternoons are too hot, and now we know it too. The day rolls on longer and hotter and it is now 6:30 as we approach the cross outside of Astorga that I told matt about. From here you can see the city below but I let Matt know despite the looks its still 6k away.

That rest at the cross costs me as my back tightens up severely and we've reached the end of day 1 by 7pm and stop in a hostal 3k from Astorga and call it a day. My back refreshes and we find a ham sandwich for dinner in the local bar as the many restaurants of Astorga go beggin tonight and we choose the convenience of the local bar.

Day one thoughts--- I can't believe how tall Matt has become over this last year. He has caught up to me in all ways and during this walk it appeared that he truly enjoyed the adventure and was disappointed we didn't get to meet more people along the way.

Music? No ipods, but we did discuss a song with the phrase "on top of the world"-- I'm humming it but Matt doesn't know it so we get nowhere with that one.

The descriptive part is over, the mystical part is yet to come.

Hoping my back is fully recovered in the morning and were ready for another 25km.

Tt
Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

MATT AT U2 IN DUBLIN -PIX

2009-07-24T15:53:00.001-04:00

Matt at U2 in dublin
The TOUR begins!! 8:53pm on friday night!!
Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

HERE WE GO--MATT AND ME!!! "CLOSER TO LOVE"

2009-07-23T00:24:00.005-04:00

Matt and I leave for Dublin Thursday (23th) night--- arrival 7am dublin friday, and we are there till 6am saturday--- in between we'll take in Dublin, a few friends, and the U2 show at Croke Park.

THEN? 6am saturday plane to Madrid, 11am train from Madrid to Leon!!! bullet train that should be exciting for Matt as it will be the first time he's been on something like that !!!

Leon for the night on saturday night with a bed and normal accommodations so we can acclimate and get ready for the walk ahead---

the walk ahead??? What is it about ? this time? I mean, I've been there before, done that, right?

Not quite!! This time around I'll have my son by my side and at no time nor at any moment will I be in anything like the zone I was in in 2007 having been 6 weeks by myself---

Neither better nor worse, just different, and in my mind this experience, this time, will be like nothing ever before in my life--

Matt, with his backpack, me, with mine, and the two of us walking the 8 days between Astorga, Spain and Santiago de Compostela, that "field of the Stars".

Then, planned and fully included in this trip (unlike the random accidental Bruce in Madrid on 11/29/07), we will see Bruce in Santiago, Spain!!!! Monte de Gozo is the town/area just short of Santiago on the Camino and apparently there is a sizable soccer stadium that we will need to show up at to go see Bruce.

So we will.

Along the way how we walk, how we talk, what we talk about????? a 16 year old rising young man and a man getting older and not so much wiser by the year, father and son. Only two things are determined on this trip!!! 1) U2 in Dublin and 2) Bruce in Santiago. In between is the exploration and adventure of a lifetime between a father and son,. It will be another in the line of wonderful experiences for me to be with Matt, and it will be something Matt will have an opinion about!!! We'll see how it ends up!! but for now, it's a safe bet on some walking we've done that it will be joyful and peaceful, and I'll learn more than Matt most likely. Oh, Matt, I forgot to mention that sleeping bag will be in use the WHOLE trip!!!! in the hostels!!!

not so bad, if you ask me.

It is just different to be me, and it's just different to be him. I know this, yet I am more demanding than I am understanding. It happens to be my nature.

So along the way we'll walk, we'll carry our backpacks, we'll sleep in the hostels, and hopefully the trail won't be so crowded that we need to sleep on the floors or outside---

What possible purpose could this trip incorporate? WHY? doing the trip of a lifetime again only 125 miles of the 500 mile trail with a loved one that will clearly put a burden on the 'FREEDOM" of the space the Camino allows one to occupy???

Purpose? Reason?

We'll have to allow that to evolve, and we'll have to allow our shared experience lead us where we are going on our mutual camino.

I am hopeful that if we do nothing else, we learn to love each other more, and I learn to accept the son I have more than anything else I might want. I don't really know what I want when it comes to that anyway, so If we come away with my learning to love my son more in today's world then tomorrow's dream's will be for him and for him alone? yeah, i like the sound of that---

Why my son, and why not one of my daughter's?

He's lucky, he's in the right place at the right time and I'm ready to go so we won't question the why??---All i know is we, the both of us, will have a unique moment in time together that has the opportunity to top all the things we have done so far--- and we've done a lot!!!!

Are there any other purposes that might be involved? Anything else out there that I might consider ? A walk with a purpose?

The answer is yes, as during the last trip I was retired and relaxed and in a moment of appreciation for all that has happened.

And now, while I have not lost any of that appreciation for what has passed, I view this trip as the launching pad for what is to come, for what will be, for whom it shall be.

I am humble by my own blessings, and each step of my walk, and in turn my ability to translate this feeling or absorption to my son's walk, will be to further appreciate those blessings but also to walk for those who need our steps to help them get where they are going---in their struggle, in their walk, with their challenges.

No one is alone, and no one can fully understand or appreciate where another who is dealing with the turns in the path that life throws at some of us--not all, just some.

Sometimes it's called Multiple Scerlosis--- sometimes it is called Cancer--- sometimes it is simply a trip to the store for some milk and it turns into a car wreck that turns EVERYTHING upside down---and sometimes it ???____ you get the picture, don't you?

which brings me to the opening theme, the one that launches us on our trip----

I'm not sure how much of the last 16 months since the "FREEDOM TOUR"ended I can cover, but i'll try--more importantly, my thoughts are focused on where we are going--- and we need to get there!!!!

this walk, if it is about anything, is about bringing us "Closer to Love"

(song by mat kearney)

If we go anywhere over the next week, I beg please let it include getting me "closer to love"

I'M BACK---ALMOST

2009-06-21T18:53:00.003-04:00

FIRST---HAPPY FATHERS DAY TO ALL THE DAD'S OUT THERE

I have so much saved up and so much to say, but the biggest news is the news that I'll be back on the Camino come July 25th, 2009!!!!!! Yup, I'm dragging my son Matt and we'll walk the last 125 miles or so along the last part of the Camino de Santiago!!! my home away from home from October through November, 2007. I currently (and happily, I might add) am employed and don't have the luxury of taking 6 weeks or 18 months for a sabbatical. Most of you knew that, I know.

So, naturally, we'll do what we can and fit as much in as we can along the way.

First stop? Dublin, 7/24th for U2 at Croke Park!!!!

then, no rest, no sleep, right to the plane for flight to Madrid, train to LEON, Spain, and with backpacks in tow Matt and I will engage the Camino de Santiago together. We walked 8/9 miles today for a Father's Day training trip. Quiet, wet, humid, and I realize I have a lot of walking to do in order to be ready to keep up with Matt (16yrs old and in great shape).

7/26-8/2---walk the camino, eat octopus, introduce matt to orujo!!, and give thanks for the opportunity of a lifetime round two.

lastly, 8/2/09, SEE BRUCE---in SANTIAGO, SPAIN

so, matt will have plenty to tell on his "what i did on my summer vacation", and so will I.

I've been keeping short snippet notes on things i've wanted to write about, but the flow of work and the flow of LIFE have just been too great to get into the flow of Camino writing like I was in late 2007.

BUT, you never know, walking 15-20 miles a day free's a mind up quite a bit, so we'll see what i can muster up in terms of cohesive lines about what has gone on these last 16 months and what I think about what has gone on.

I'M BACK, ALMOST

PEACE

TOMMYT

CAMINO SOUNDTRACK SONGLIST

2008-09-07T12:30:00.003-04:00

got lots of notes that i need to compile into a new blognote but can't force it and the overall flow of life and now work and the summer and WORK are kinda getting in the way of my free-flowing mindexpanding thought process---did i say WORK was getting in the way!!!!!

it's also contributing, so we'll see what transpires---

I owe the blog the songlist compiled from the camino, so here it is--

THE LIST OF SONGS MENTIONED AND REFLECTED UPON DURING THE WALK AND THE BLOGNOTES OF THE CAMINO WALK , OCT-NOV 2007.
in chronological order as best i can---if you desire or need the playlist/copy just ask
song title, artist performed by
1)I'm Ready , Tracy Chapman
2)Reflections of My Life, The Marmalade
3)Long Way Home, Springsteen
4)Over the Moon, Rent soundtrack
5)I'm Gonna be (500 Miles), The Proclaimers
6) To The Morning, Dan Fogelberg
7)Walk On, U2
8)These Are Days, 10,000 Maniacs
9)Gonna Change My Way of Thinking, Dylan
10)Into the Mystic, Van Morrison
11)Get Up- Stand Up, Amnesty Int'l Live Version w Chapman, Springsteen, Peter Gabriel, N'Dour
12)Get Up-Stand Up, Bob Marley
13)Waiting In Vain, Bob Marley
14)Oh Happy Day,St Francis Choir from Sister Act (of course!!!!)
15)Oh Happy Day, Bebe Winans featuring Debbie Winans
16)At This Point in My Life, Tracy Chapman
17)Thunder On the Mountain, Dylan
18)Walk Like a Man, Springsteen
19)Sunshine on My Shoulders, John Denver
20)Carry You to Jesus, Steven Curtis Chapman
21)Heaven, Bar Scott
22)Prove It All Night, Springsteen Live 9/19/78 Capitol Theatre bootleg
23)Spirit in the Night, Springsteen Live 9/19/78 Capitol Theatre bootleg
24)Darkness on the Edge of Town, Springsteen
25)I Shall Be Released, Dylan
26)Always & Forever, Heatwave
27)One of Us, Joan Osborne
28)Sweet Jesus, Gary Chapman
29)Children of the World, Amy Grant
30)War, Edwin Starr w Bruce Springsteen 5/16/99 Birmingham England Springsteen Bootleg
31)War, Edwin Starr
32)Tighten Up, Archie Bell & the Drells
33)Ain't No Stoppin Us Now, McFadden & Whitehead
34)Sad Eyes, Springsteen
35)Spirit Lives On, Building 429
36)You've Got a Friend, James Taylor
37)Prelude and the Sound of Music, Maria and the original soundtrack
38)That Extra Mile, the Winan's w R Kelly
39)All Over Me, The Benjamin Gate
40)Seconds to Fall, Fury in the Slaughterhouse
41)On My Way to You, MercyMe
42)Who'll Stop the Rain, Creedance Clearwater Revival
43)Time to Wonder, Fury in the Slaughterhouse
44)Heaven's Here on Earth, Tracy Chapman
45)We Fall Down, Donnie McCurkin
46)The Impossible Dream, Luther Vandross
47)Something More, Sugarland

GOD, lot's of songs, huh!!!!
48)I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For, U2
49)Raise Your Hands, Springsteen Capitol Theatre bootleg
50)Santa Claus is Coming to Town, Springsteen, Midnight Hour bootleg
51)Walkin Man, James Taylor

okay, so i think in a nutshell somehow each of these songs was referred to and specifically mentioned in the blog trip on my camino, in the order listed (hopefully). Most of them were on my IPOD, but several of them were heard on the trip in places by "coincidence", of course, but then they turned into something so much more in the footsteps that followed my hearing them.

Peace
tt

FOR A "REAL" CHANGE!!!!!

2008-07-12T12:15:00.004-04:00

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Prescriptions for REAL CHANGE, acknowledging that "you CAN'T do THAT"!!!!!!!!!!--
THREE THINGS THAT ARE VERY UNLIKELY BECAUSE YOU CAN'T DO THAT!!!!
BUT I THINK WE'D ALL BE BETTER OFF IF WE DID---

HERE GOES!!!

#1 you can't do that!!!!

National-- now that there are two very legitimate and non-legacy (non-baggage) candidates for President of this great country, one might ask is there really any hope for us to truly address OUR significant problems such as affordable health care, solvent social security, a rational and simplified tax policy, and incentivize our youth by imparting them with being part of our country's future by giving back through my "Youth of the Nation Volunteer Year” (one year of service after high school required service). How might we actually make that progress that has been so elusive? I think we need a new prescription, so that we STOP thinking in terms of Democratic or Republican agenda's and start talking about America's Agenda--

I vote for John McCain for President and Barack Obama (remember, he's the one with 4 years of public office experience and has youth on his side) for Vice-President!!! With the agreement that we do NOT hold a national election in 4 years and Obama becomes president (and he has a FEMALE VP!!!) and we save a bunch of election money and TV ad's with politicians attacking each other on insignificant things and belittling each other on the significant ones.

I vote for CHANGE, and this lineup guarantees it for the next eight years. This plan is economically prudent and politically progressive. If this doesn't happen then I guess I'll have to pick among these two candidates and their selected VP mates. I prefer my suggested choice above.

#2) you CAN’T do that!!!!

STATE--
Is there any state in our Union that can hold a candle to NJ’s barrage of insidious corruption that never fails to show its face, even in seemingly honest politicians who just can't say no because they know how many others of their brethren are fat and happy on the take. NJ, despite the new Hall of Fame, still has its dual legacies of political corruption and political inertia!!!!

Two Prescriptions--
1) Part-time state employees getting a cushy job and fat pension at the end of their careers happens so often that honest, hard-working politicians are afraid to break the system knowing that a few years out THEY will be the direct beneficiary of this ridiculous and costly policy. REMOVE PART-TIME employees from state pension benefits NOW.

That is a start on our road back to solvency.
2) New Jersey should take advantage of a unique opportunity. NJ should recognize the Republic of Cuba as a partner and negotiate an exclusive diplomatic pathway that gives NJ the rights to Cuba transport landings. All flights from NJ to Cuba come w a $25 surcharge (each way) paid to the state.

Cuba was a hostile nation with strategic implications.......... In 1962!!!!!!!!!! I heard a recent speech where in one sentence the countries Iran, North Korea, Iraq, and CUBA were uttered with references of terrorist threats. NJ could both move our national dialogue forward and open up a wonderful people and culture of food and music (not to mention cigars) to a needy populace that would only benefit from the open door that NJ should extend. And we should negotiate with Cuba to have an "exclusive landing rights only from NJ policy " for 5 years so it actually does help our state get solvent (and we of course could resell those rights to Florida so those folks could save on the jet fuel.)

#3) you CAN’T do that!!!
LOCAL
Finally, locally, right here in Rumson.

Let's recognize that we are an "auto" culture, not a walking or biking culture. Let's also recognize it is both a strength (fast) and a weakness (no health benefits, environmentally unfriendly, and much more dangerous). I propose that, to facilitate our own health, our own joy, our sense of purpose and actually put our citizens welfare first, that we remove expediency and speed from our mind and spend some money to have a walk/bike path through our town just like we have three roads through our town (Rumson, Ridge, and River Rd.). My son has a job in Sea Bright, and his mom doesn't feel it’s safe that he ride his bike alongside the SUV populace of our area (myself included).

And yet, there is no alternative that is safe and secure. In all our development, we have put our citizens at risk. But Tom, we all get around using cars so your idea is ridiculous. Really??? Maybe we shouldn't, especially during the summer, get around in cars.

Perhaps with $4.00 or $5.00 gas, with our population generally overweight and out of shape, and the global warming crisis continuing to evolve, just perhaps, we should have at least ONE truly safe alternative in this great town of ours so both children and adults can have a safe way to get to the beach, or simply go for a walk through the whole town. Specifically, it seems only natural that we do this with Ridge Road (perhaps we turn it into a one way street with the other side being for pedestrian/bike traffic, recognizing that no residents on that street will want a Long Branch type appropriation of their property.
Save money, help the environment, get healthy, and enjoy the tranquility of getting somewhere without a car!!!!.

You can't do that????? Or can you!!!!!

I recently heard Wendy Kopp, the Founder of Teach for America, speak at a college commencement ceremony. Wendy was named one of the top 100 most influential people in the world according Time Magazine 2008. In 1989, to the dismay of her Princeton professors and fundraising experts, she started Teach for America to address and CHANGE the failing public school syndrome in lower socio-economic urban areas in America. Unanimously, her advisors told her that she “couldn’t do that”. Fortunately for America and the students her organization has touched, she didn’t believe it. She thought she could. And she did. 5000 college graduates now work for TfA throughout the USA.

I think we can too. As outlandish and unique as my suggestions are, we can choose to CHANGE. I’ll take the bike path, or the recognition of Cuba as a non-hostile republic, but if you really ask what I’d like, I’d like ‘em all.

For a CHANGE.

tt

TOMMY T'S FREEDOM TOUR IDEA FOR THE "YOUTH OF OUR NATION"

2008-04-27T21:02:00.005-04:00

TOMMY T’S FREEDOM TOUR IDEA FOR THE YOUTH OF OUR NATION—
Barack? you getting this?--just making sure now that you have Bruce's endorsement!!!!

OKAY, I CUT AND PASTED THE LAST POST BECAUSE I'VE GOTTEN SOME NICE FEEDBACK AND THE "IDEA" IS SOMETHING THAT RESONATED WITH PEOPLE WHO FEEL OUR COUNTRY'S MORAL FIBER NEEDS SOMETHING TO ADDRESS OUR ILLS--
SO, HERE IT IS SEPARATED OUT FOR YOU

Not sure you remember I talked about going to New Orleans in December to help some folks move back into their homes for XMas? I never really elaborated (believe it or not I missed some details!!!) on that trip, on the fact that ONE Wall Street firm paid the expenses of the 50 volunteers with a donation for that trip??? The name of that firm??? BEAR STEARNS!!!!!!!

well, during my trip to New Orleans with "H.E.A.R.T. 911" the WTC rescue workers group,( http://www.heart911.org/ ) to learn more about this great org)....I met a great group of people that were in our "Camp Hope" barracks who had volunteered as part of AmeriCorps youth volunteers team and had been assigned to New Orleans for 1 or 2 years. These kids were 18-24 years old, some were in college and some weren't, but ALL were working and helping as part of an engaged community (very much like my Community of Pilgrims!!!), and of course bunk beds were part of the territory. ALL made the choice to volunteer--

Ready??? I'm READY, as Tracy Chapman sings--I'm not sure how we "teach" the pure old fashioned American Dream, and I know the "RIGHTS" people wouldn't want me to “impose” things on people-- BUT we do have TO DO something!!!!! Don't we??

What do I propose????I propose we attempt to transform, TRANSFORM our NATION's YOUTH---

Pretty bold sounding, eh????

Let me continue, and finish all in one---

The "YOUTH of THE NATION"

Except this time we tell people if you WANT to live here, in the USofA, then you've got to do just ONE THING, ONE TIME in your life as a citizen, and we'll PAY YOU for it too!!!

We need to give our youth, more than anything else, the HOPE and the LOVE--- and unfortunately we need to face up to the fact that we need to do a better job teaching THE HOPE and THE LOVE IN THIS CURRENT DAY IN AGE???, don't we???--- the only way one LEARNS HOPE and LOVE is by experiencing it through GIVING, and GETTING, HOPE and LOVE---

One needs to get away from the internet, cable, TV, and just DO SOMETHING---

So I propose that we REQUIRE 18 year-old students finishing high school in our country to enlist in AmeriCorps--- REQUIRED---ENLISTMENT--- DRAFT THEM!!!!!! If they don't have anything to do well then guess what?? problem solved-- and if they do well then they can choose when to take a breath and take a walk and give of themselves a little >>>

WELL<<>>>>>…….WELL<<>YOUTH ONENESS!!!!!!!!!, as I like to call it---

When someone asks you what you're doing after high school, EVERYONE will have AT LEAST one answer, and that answer, I'm highly confident, will lead to others--- and somewhere in all the MANURE they walk through-- GUESS WHAT---- my BET is they will FIND THEIR PONY-

--And it is very clear to me that we need to start doing something more to give our nations’ youth that HOPE and LOVE and CONFIDENCE in their futures-- not just the smart ones, or the rich ones, or the middle ones, but "ALL" THE ONES---and it is also very clear that today's programs, the ones your taxes are paying for, are falling far short of their goal and therefore we are wasting money on unproductive and unsuccessful attempts—

It’s a different age, and we need a DIFFERENT PROGRAM----and we MIGHT need a NEW LEADER to LEAD us with it---

I've seen money thrown in vast amounts in directions that reap no dividends in the name of opportunity???? And they have largely FAILED to TRANSFORM--At least they, all our youth, will know they are ALL CONNECTED by this LOVE, this common mission that they know they and their fellow schoolmates will be experiencing at some point after high school, --and perhaps it will calm the psycho A student who can't take not getting into Harvard, and perhaps it will give the directionless kid in south city center a new purpose and choice in a road mired with poverty and no hope.

And perhaps the whole youth of the Nation will connect as one, in ONENESS!!!!!!!, on this one project----

We formerly had military enlistment, through the draft---Now, let's DRAFT our youth into a 9 month volunteer program where we feed them (some of them aren't getting that in this country, by the way!!!), we teach them, we mentor them, and somewhere in all this I'm sure we will LOVE them too---

Yeah, I know, PARENTS are suppose to do this??? Well, the Florida girls assault story aside, I don't think the country should stand idly by while the erosion of our moral fiber weighs in the balance.

WE need to find this path now, while people are young, and touch them in a way most of them will never experience—

...and dream, and hope, in this land of ours—this land of hope and dreams!!!!!!!!

New Idea, New Time, New ROAD, NEW Path, NEW CAMINO, for us------

so i'll send this little missive along and see where this lands in DC-

TO LOVE, because Love is truly the greatest power we have in this world, and it is our bridge that survives us into the next. It is, and it will be, our legacy. Yours and Mine.

On the end of one journey, and the beginning of a new one,

Knowing that I know little, but I understand more than I did before this sabbatical started,

I leave you, and my sabbatical behind, with this prayer from St. Therese of Lisieux –

--Saint Therese is known as the "Saint of the Little Ways"

Saint Therese's Prayer

May today there be peace within.

May you trust God that you are exactly where you are meant to be.

May you not forget the infinite possibilities that are born of faith.

May you use those gifts that you have received, and pass on the love that has been given to you.

May you be confident knowing you are a child of God. Let this presence settle into your bones, and allow your soul the freedom to sing, dance, praise and love.

It is there for each and every one of us.

Nuff said-music and joy and dance and love—trusting that you are exactly where you are meant to be-

Peace
TT

THE END—really!!!!!

2008-04-19T11:56:00.006-04:00

THE TOMMYT FREEDOM TOUR HAS ENDED!!!!!!!!!!
I know this brings great joy to many of you who have labored and strained to get through elongated and wordy emails or blog posts!!!!!!!! It is over===THIS IS IT—the last note of sabbatical.

So---what do we have here??
FINITO
BETTY-the readings
The Current State of Affairs-2007/08
4/18/08 note finishing –first week of work-
TRANSFORMATION
The “darkness”
Interconnectedness
TOMMYT’S FREEDOM TOUR IDEA FOR OUR NATION’S YOUTH-
THE END

YES, somewhere in the body of this letter is the official announcement-- the Sabbatical is OVER, finito, DONE-- as of 4/14/08. From 9/13/06 you've listened and read and either enjoyed or deleted the various, numerous, lengthy musings of a man on sabbatical. Well, here it is, the last note that sends me back to the world of employed, from U2 in Hawaii, the Super Bowl 2007, the Hoyas in the final four, a Baja Cali motorcycle trip, a summer at the beach (literally ALL summer, not a week), the POPE in ROME, and last, certainly not least, a 500 mile walk through Spain meant to both end a sabbatical and renew the meaning of life all in a few million footsteps--the Camino de Santiago!!!!!

And here we are---

Yet, I don't want to rush into this, my last note, and end it before my usual notes have barely begun--

So, as usual, let me digress---

It is 3/31/08, March 31st, and I'm on a plane (as usual) going to Florida to see my Mom. We just said goodbye, literally, for the last time to one of the senior matriarch's of our extended (my sister-in-law's mother) family, better known to my kids as Applegate. Mrs. Applegate, or Betty as she insisted I call her, lived to be 93 years old and lived a life that made my sabbatical pale by example. She even went to Antarctica, but she did it at AGE 82!!!!! So her immediate family had a wonderful service to celebrate her life and how blessed we all were to have her in ours. They had four readings, and the Pastor noted that each of them was "starred" ** in her bible, the one her father had given her on April 11th, 1926, hence why they were selected---

(The readings)----!!!!!!—cited and paraphrased a little-
Song of Solomon 2:10-13—
Set me as a seal upon your heart,
as a seal upon your arm;
for love is strong as death,
passion fierce as the grave.
Its flashes are flashes of fire,
a raging flame.
Many waters cannot quench love,
neither can floods drown it.
If one offered for love
all the wealth of his house,
it would be utterly scorned.

1 Corinthians 13: 1-13

2If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing
12Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.
13And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

Matthew 5: 13-16

Salt and Light
13"You are the salt of the earth. But if the salt loses its saltiness, how can it be made salty again? It is no longer good for anything, except to be thrown out and trampled by men.
14"You are the light of the world. A city on a hill cannot be hidden. 15Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. 16In the same way, let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven.

John 15: 9-12

9"As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Now remain in my love. 10If you obey my commands, you will remain in my love, just as I have obeyed my Father's commands and remain in his love. 11I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete. 12My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you.

READINGS OVER--- relax and reflect---------------------------------------------

Betty was born in??... Let's see, I guess she was born in 1915. Middle of World War I-- Ford cars just started rolling, Woodrow Wilson was President, and, quite frankly, LIFE was a lot simpler then ---

But then again, life was pretty simple a mere 9 months ago, when the stock market was on its high, housing prices were going to go through roof AND the SKY this time, and people had no fear to mind those depression era themes like "rather go to sleep supperless than than rise in debt(B.Franklin)". --- people seemingly borrow money and spend money and live with no concern for much,

so simple when ......

And now look at the landscape---

It's not 1915, and it's not even 2007, and now we are all so much smarter than we were just a few short months ago--

NOW,

--Cranes are falling down in NYC--

--Barack's winning yet the press is treating him like he's always playing defense-- except Rolling Stone, who's doing enough attacking of his opponent to make Republicans look meek--

--The stock market, well, we'll cover that soon enough, and don't even get me started on the "bond" market-

--housing prices, and home loans, are in such dire straits that politicians are coming to the rescue, which will be sure to screw up housing in the USA like Japan screwed up their banks in the 90's!!!

--And our current President is where he is, and Jan '09 just can't here soon enough so the world can have someone else to blame for everything-- Hillary, yeah, she was against the war right after she voted "for it"!!!!

--Iraq-- I wrote back in Spain that Edwin Starr had it right in his song "WAR", it's absolutely good for nothing"-- and now that we've been in Iraq 5 years it's clear we screwed up, and now it will be up to the next president to try and fix it--- get the peace, keep the flow of oil, and attempt to grow a democracy in the middle of a desert--
It seemed like such a worthwhile ideal, to give freedom and hope, but our execution of that noble ideal has simply failed-. Period. I'm sure history will have a fuller story on this episode in Iraq, but the current view is we missed an opportunity to secure the peace right away and it has now slipped away.

It use to be so "simple"---- heavy stuff--

So, what's a music fan suppose to listen too???? Well, -I've got some news---

KITTY's BACK IN TOWN!!!!!!!

Ooh. Ooh ooh ooh. All right, all right!!

Ooh Ooh ooh ooh all right, all right-

Are you with me?

It's 10/19/74, Schenectady, New York, and Bruce and the band so fresh and raw, and the room they are playing in sounds from the recording like it could a basement of a house and the crowd sounds like they all live right down the street-- it could be Freehold, or Toms River, or Point Pleasant Beach at "the Beach House", --

And it brings me back to remembering I've been listening to these songs while all this autobiographical stuff has been happening since??? 1973/1974, yeah, since right about then--

Pre Born To Run??? YUP-- read that "Rocket Man" post in the blog to get more of the flavor of this life, my life, should you care to know where this mind of mine came from, but suffice it to say here that Bruce and the boardwalk and the Ferris Wheel and the SwissBob and ROSALITA seem like they were and are ALWAYS there---intertwined-- all they needed to do is to have some space, some FREEDOM, and then ""ROSIE can come OUT tonight!!!"""

And all my friends, my colleagues, my associates, my family, and YOU, YOU can all come too, figuratively, through the words that I've shared with you over these last 18 months..

Kitty's BACK, AND ROSIE's coming out, and we're gonna PROVE IT once again, ALL NIGHT!!!

Where were we? and where are we?

The world has gotten complicated, its no longer just get a job, join a firm, and just let the work and the meritocracy speak for itself---because one firm that stood proudly on that ground has just been fed (no pun intended by FED) to the wolves, or saved by the sheep, depending on your point of view--

TRADER's make decisions and stand by them-- the thing I don't get is why so many people who AREN'T traders are in positions of powerful decision-making--- it is getting embarrassing and damn expensive to watch notable "leaders" completely LACKING in leadership and skilled decision-making (and I’m not even talking about the political leaders, I’m talking about business leaders, you, know, global titans of power and wealth that get it SO WRONG it’s incredible, and sad, and enormously impactful on people’s lives..)

Bear Stearns was a great firm, but the thing I liked most about them is that THEY REQUIRED senior people to donate 10% of their income to charity, and they didn't care what school you went to, or what town you came from. The pure American Dream, as I liked to think of it.
EXCEPT THE ENDING!!!!!!!!!!!!

So, Tom, knowing what a mess this world is, why are you thinking about coming BACK???? Into it? That financial markets world you left 18 months ago (or three years ago depending on your point of view)???

Thinking about it? No!!!! I have thought about it, and I KNOW this is the right thing and I've found the right place and the right people for this move. And they've found me, too, or we wouldn't be writing this note.

But, this is the time, and here we GO!!!!!!

It's NOW APRIL 18th, as I didn't want to finish the "note" until I could send it---so, it's 6pm or so on 4/18, Friday night and I'm on a train to DC to see my two girls at Georgetown, and I've completed my first WEEK of WORK, so NOW I can finish and publish this final note that I told you I wouldn't send until I WAS WORKING, and I AM--- AM, that sounds like "am", as in 5:10am, which is when my alarm rang this morning, and that is truly the best measure my body has that I am WORKING!!!! Because sabbatical days, trust me, DO NOT start at 5:10am--- although I did fairly frequently have a routine around 5:10pm!!!!!!!

So to the finish--- and what's happened since --- I thoroughly enjoyed my first week of work and think I have been fortunate to find a place that calls me to my mission--- not quite like a sabbatical, and in one week you get underneath the hood and you see that like most businesses and corporate environments you have your "happy" and "unhappy" people, you're "love it here" and "not so much"!!!

But I'm about building, experiencing, growing, and raising, not about "where we are" but more about WHERE ARE WE GOING--- so any of these sound bites, the "10 bankers left", the "tough markets affecting the stock", the rest of it to me seem like such small problems when my mission is to help my colleagues figure out how to grow our business while it appears many/most of the competitive landscape is focused on shrinking--

I have to be the only person in the financial markets that met 20 people this week with the sole purpose of "recruiting them"!!!!!!

Ooohhh ooohhh oooh ALL RIGHT-
Oooooh ooohhh oooh "all right" ,
ALL RIGHT
KITTY's BACK IN TOWN, and SANDY, and the E STREET Shuffle---

And you know who was back in town today? in the BIG NYC, that same city where people don't sleep and I WORK!!!!!??? For MY first week of work, of course you'll say it's just another silly boardwalk coincidence, that my MAIN man Most Excellency the POPE, you know, HIS MOST EXCELLENCY POPE BENEDICT, the very same ONE I stood next to in DEC '06 when I was on SABBATICAL!!!!!!!!

Yeah, so the POPE is Back, and KITTY's BACK, and BRUCE fan's the world over have lost another member of the clan-- Danny Federici passed away 4/17th and has joined Terry and I can't help and reflect about how sad that E Street Band must be, and how sad all us fans are, and I just acknowledge that we're all here for such a short time, in such a WIDE open space, that we just HAVE TO make the MOST of our GOD-GIVEN TALENTS, whether they turn us into a great teacher, a wonderful social worker or medical field caregiver, a GIFTED ORGAN PLAYER, simple laborer, or just a humble priest turned POPE—we’ve go to take advantage of our FREEDOM

Use the talents, and LEAD with your HEART-and, (you've heard me say this before),

LET LOVE BE YOUR CORNERSTONE!!!!

Whatever that calling is in each of us, it's hard to lose identity, our identity, during periods like the current one--- where economic moments collide with market moments and in the wink of an eye and industry lops 100,000 jobs of the top (that's where the financial industry is heading during this contraction by my estimates)-- and WORK is such an "IDENTITY" thing---isn't it?

What do you want to be when you grown up?
What are you studying to be?
What do you do?
What did you do?

Remember those Camino comments and my point about "why" not "what??, as in "why are we here" not "what do we do", as in work---

In all phases of our life, from a young child to an old man, people ask you to IDENTIFY yourself by the WHAT YOU DO???

It's hard to deny that "what we do", the why we wake up and our habit and our daily routine in this world an awful lot of the time revolves around WHERE, WHAT and HOW WE........ WORK!!!!!!!!!!

And LOSING that IDENTITY, even if its for a SABBATICAL,, but ESPECIALLY when its taken from you and was providing the food on the table (not to mention if you were a 10 or 20 year BEAR STEARNS veteran watching all your identity and hard work going out the window without your having ANY control), when one loses their JOB--- now THAT is HARD!!! And tough to deal with and an emotional and complicated challenge--

Here an NOW, when ONE needs to find that NEW identity to replace the old---[and I recognize that ALL of us are SO MUCH MORE than "where we work" or "what we do" but funny enough we kinda become known for that "workspace" we occupy, and we also become known for the reputation we carry in that SPACE---]

We might have "OTHER" identities,, like father, mother, "POPE", etc, but this "work" identity is undeniable--- it both gives us a PURPOSE and an IDENTITY--

Whether you're caring for the elderly, or working on Wall Street, people know who you are, and people know you, through your identity.-- your "work"-- maybe less so today than 100 years ago when “work” meant farming, fishing, and the advent of the industrial revolution was getting into full swing, but our identity is still very tied up in OUR WORK-

For instance, I knew DAN FEDERICI as "on the organ, Mr Dan Federici", when Bruce was introducing the band during concerts, just simply the sound of the E Street band that always brought me back to the boardwalk with his organ or accordion- ALWAYS, that was his identity to me.--and it was tied to..... His WORK-- that is, as artistically as he did it, even still, that was "his job"!!! And now it happens to be someone else's, and now that person will be "identified" by the "job" he inherited--- ps. That new person has it because he used his God-given talents to his fullest, clearly-- and that is also Danny's legacy, a lasting imprint on the minds of millions of fans as key ingredient in the sound known as the E-Street band.
Pretty nice legacy, and very warm and joyful memories, and this is from a distance.

So, Rest in Peace, Mrs. Applegate, and Rest in Peace, Mr Dan Federici-- and now God has at his side the greatest organ player this side of E Street, Main Street and Wall Street-
And nicest little lady this side of Pasadena-

And now to me--- and my NEW IDENTITY!!!!!! it's onto to helping all these displaced workers in our economy find a new place, a new identity, and I'm in the fortunate role of being able to be assisting and perhaps offering an opportunity to some of those people--- and that should be a lot of fun, HENCE why I thought the job would be fun, HENCE why I TOOK the damn JOB!!!!!!!!

FIND THE PONY---that is my advice to anyone suffering through these challenging times-- like Reagan said, a "recession" is when your neighbor is out of work, a "depression" is when YOU'RE OUT OF WORK!!!!

Find that PONY---in all this mess, with ALL THIS MANURE in the room we call the financial markets, THERE JUST HAS TO BE a PONY!!!!! In here somewhere!!!!!!!

So, I finished my first week at Jefferies & Co, and I've got a great partner, and his daughter was just accepted to G'Town!!!!! So we have that in common, and so work it is and I'm off on a new CAMINO!!!, a new path, a new walk, and it feels pretty good!!!!!! And the people seem great, and it's small, and there are (so far) NO MEETINGS!!!!! So it's all looking pretty good, but just like those Bear vet's one never knows what's around the corner---- Lead with Love and let the rest take care of itself--EVEN in WORK!!!!!!!

Trust me, one week back and I know LOVE works-----and I know loving work works too!!!!!!!!

But, to be clear, the "job" identity isn't something we get away from, but we shouldn't get LOST in it either---
The FACT of the MATTER is that PEOPLE give us jobs, just plain ordinary people who might be big and powerful and rich or not--but just people all the same--

There are two identities given to us by God, in contrast---- "Parent" is one, "spouse" is the other---so when you LOOK at the BIG PICTURE and you START out on your career or RESTART your JOB career don't get lost in IT so MUCH that you lose your REAL IDENTITY as a person, as a friend, as a soulmate, as a loving and giving parent--
Work helps define us and what we do, but it does not define WHO WE ARE!!!!!!!!!!!!
or WHY WE ARE HERE!!!!!!!! never lose sight of that-

So you can find me at my blog or on Bloomberg now if you have one, and all my old emails work so keep any thoughts or prayer requests coming--- and keep in mind those suffering in one way or another, a number of those who just aren't use to it and one year ago had a bright future and outlook---because now they have to FIND THEIR PONY---and things probably look bleak if they don’t keep the big picture in mind-

Of course, if they ask me, I might tell them to just take it easy and go take a walk......>>>. A LONG one, and slow down and seek and find the face and spirit of God in all that is around us....

TRANSFORMATION-----

Big word, kinda like INNOVATION, but INNOVATION, even capitalized, doesn't mean TRANSFORMATION!!!!

I want to spend this last part of this LAST NOTE (really!!) On the word TRANSFORMATION---- and I want to apply it, not just use it in a sentence---

I think the last 18 months of my life have been TRANSFORMATIONAL for me---- I have progressed in the things I care about, in how I think, and the way I walk on my PATH, my CAMINO--and I truly know how incredibly lucky and blessed I was to be able to do almost exactly what I wanted without a care for this time at this moment in my life--- I don't know why I am so blessed, and I trust and pray that I just need to continue the walk I am on--- wherever it leads me--LEADING with LOVE (and no, this doesn't mean I will never raise my voice in the office-- I haven't TRANSFORMED that MUCH)----

I have a desire to inspire--- how's that roll off the tongue -" A DESIRE TO INSPIRE!!!!!!" Anyone being touched by or reading this or accidentally ending up in this paragraph-- my desire for you , my prayer for you, is for you to be TRANSFORMED too, in a very simple, meaningful way, BY LOVE---

I know we can all do more than we do in this world to further the cause of LOVE, so I'm hoping that at least one thing in this long, winding, erratic run-on blog has touched you and inspired you to transform someone else with YOUR LOVE --- the more they need it, the more important it is that you take that step---

I'm saddened still as I write this by a recent incident in our town (yes, our home town that one never thinks things happen in except bliss!!)-- and that event was the passing away of a 14 year-old child of her own will and choice---- and these words don't come lightly --

And I think, and can't help but think, that somewhere on our path WE missed an opportunity to LOVE, and that "Darkness" on the edge of town I spoke of somehow crept inside of town won out over love, in a very extreme way ---
When one chooses permanent solutions to temporary problems it becomes extremely sad and ??? well, you can finish that sentence with your own thoughts--

Now I know most of you reading are not "connected" to this event (although I am hard- pressed to call the death of a 14 year-old "an event") and this is a "thing" that happens sometimes and it is an incredible tragedy and everyone is extremely sad and sorry and feels even worse for the family in this story.

But don't look for an explanation from me, things like this really can't be "explained"-- I tremble writing--- how do you even start to try and figure it out? You don't know, and I certainly don't know-- I don't know why the darkness won, but it did—---------BUT, you also can't just IGNORE IT and just go about your day thinking that everything goes BACK TO "NORMAL", "WHATEVER THE HECK THAT IS"!!!

And I'm sad- and I feel just plain bad for those affected--- and the NET is very, VERY WIDE--
And that goes back to my point about "interconnectedness"--- we are ALL interconnected, and a pebble in the ocean in Japan will ripple in some way through the vast ocean and impact us right here on the Eastern seaboard---

And we are all so interconnected that we CANNOT MISS opportunities to CONNECT--- with those that are "LIKE" us, whatever that means, but especially with those that "aren't like us"-- you know, different, needy, aloof, whatever- adults, children, YOUR CHILDREN, MINE, we need to show the way- the WAY to LOVE, by CONNECTING ourselves---BY SLOWING DOWN in a very fast world--- and taking time with people that we can and do touch.

You remember the teachers in the hallways when you were rushing to class????

"WALK, Don't Run"!!!!!! they would yell, so you upright your body and move your straight legs really fast---

WALK, DON'T RUN!!!!!!!!! Slow Down---and see the signs being directed at you---

That's it-- because if we miss that opportunity, you just never know the ripples --not that you "caused" those ripples, but they happened nonetheless—and the point is not about causing ripples, but THAT WE do not miss the opportunity to CAUSE RIPPLES OF LOVE, MY "RAISE THE LOVE RATE" comment—THAT’s RIGHT, be a FORCE in RAISING THE LOVE RATE---

So, today, lastly, CONNECT, all over, with LOVE--- and if you're not getting this, then SLOW DOWN, WALK, don't run, in the pace of your life and the people's lives you touch.

Pls keep your fellow man, your neighbor, your family, your country, YOUR GOD, and your own SELF in your prayers--- oh, yeah, try it, so today after reading this I'm hoping I can do a little transforming myself--- AND SLOW DOWN a little so you can even notice some of those folks--

Say a prayer for the people dealing with this tragedy in my town, and say a prayer for our youth, our Nation's youth, that they have the strength to overcome the challenges posed by this new age that they are growing up in-- it's quite a hard place, much different than that simple place Betty Applegate grew up in 1915, and between the internet and the TV and the girls in Florida beating a neighborhood "popular" girl, it is a world that is being challenged by the "progress" we have made on some fronts-- and the “lack of progress” we haven't made on others---right here, down the block, next door, across the street, and right in our own home---

We NEED to TRANSFORM IT with love, and we need to recognize THAT TRANSFORMATION is more important than any old JOB or WORK or IDENTITY--- we're a little too caught up in THAT!!!!!!!

So, after you've said that prayer, and you're still with me, I've got my proposal for you---

It's MY IDEA on how we can TRULY TRANSFORM---

TOMMYT’S FREEDOM TOUR IDEA FOR THE YOUTH OF OUR NATION—

Barack? you getting this?--just making sure now that you have Bruce's endorsement!!!!

Not sure you remember I talked about going to New Orleans in December to help some folks move back into their homes for XMas? I never really elaborated (believe it or not I missed some details!!!) on that trip, on the fact that ONE Wall Street firm paid the expenses of the 50 volunteers with a donation for that trip???

The name of that firm??? BEAR STEARNS!!!!!!!

well, during my trip to New Orleans with "H.E.A.R.T. 911" the WTC rescue workers group,( http://www.heart911.org/ ) to learn more about this great org)....

I met a great group of people that were in our "Camp Hope" barracks who had volunteered as part of AmeriCorps youth volunteers team and had been assigned to New Orleans for 1 or 2 years. These kids were 18-24 years old, some were in college and some weren't, but ALL were working and helping as part of an engaged community (very much like my Community of Pilgrims!!!), and of course bunk beds were part of the territory. ALL made the choice to volunteer--

Ready??? I'm READY, as Tracy Chapman sings--I'm not sure how we "teach" the pure old fashioned American Dream, and I know the "RIGHTS" people wouldn't want me to “impose” things on people--

BUT we do have TO DO something!!!!! Don't we??

What do I propose????I propose we attempt to transform, TRANSFORM our NATION's YOUTH---

Pretty bold sounding, eh????

Let me continue, and finish all in one---

The "YOUTH of THE NATION"

Except this time we tell people if you WANT to live here, in the USofA, then you've got to do just ONE THING, ONE TIME in your life as a citizen, and we'll PAY YOU for it too!!!

We need to give our youth, more than anything else, the HOPE and the LOVE--- and unfortunately we need to face up to the fact that we need to do a better job teaching THE HOPE and THE LOVE IN THIS CURRENT DAY IN AGE???, don't we???--- the only way one LEARNS HOPE and LOVE is by experiencing it through GIVING, and GETTING, HOPE and LOVE---

One needs to get away from the internet, cable, TV, and just DO SOMETHING---

So I propose that we REQUIRE 18 year-old students finishing high school in our country to enlist in AmeriCorps--- REQUIRED---ENLISTMENT--- DRAFT THEM!!!!!! If they don't have anything to do well then guess what?? problem solved-- and if they do well then they can choose when to take a breath and take a walk and give of themselves a little >>>

WELL<<>>>>>…….WELL<<>YOUTH ONENESS!!!!!!!!!, as I like to call it---

When someone asks you what you're doing after high school, EVERYONE will have AT LEAST one answer, and that answer, I'm highly confident, will lead to others--- and somewhere in all the MANURE they walk through-- GUESS WHAT---- my BET is they will FIND THEIR PONY-

--And it is very clear to me that we need to start doing something more to give our nations’ youth that HOPE and LOVE and CONFIDENCE in their futures-- not just the smart ones, or the rich ones, or the middle ones, but "ALL" THE ONES---and it is also very clear that today's programs, the ones your taxes are paying for, are falling far short of their goal and therefore we are wasting money on unproductive and unsuccessful attempts—

It’s a different age, and we need a DIFFERENT PROGRAM----and we MIGHT need a NEW LEADER to LEAD us with it---

I've seen money thrown in vast amounts in directions that reap no dividends in the name of opportunity???? And they have largely FAILED to TRANSFORM--At least they, all our youth, will know they are ALL CONNECTED by this LOVE, this common mission that they know they and their fellow schoolmates will be experiencing at some point after high school, --and perhaps it will calm the psycho A student who can't take not getting into Harvard, and perhaps it will give the directionless kid in south city center a new purpose and choice in a road mired with poverty and no hope.

And perhaps the whole youth of the Nation will connect as one, in ONENESS!!!!!!!, on this one project----

We formerly had military enlistment, through the draft---Now, let's DRAFT our youth into a 9 month volunteer program where we feed them (some of them aren't getting that in this country, by the way!!!), we teach them, we mentor them, and somewhere in all this I'm sure we will LOVE them too---

Yeah, I know, PARENTS are suppose to do this??? Well, the Florida girls assault story aside, I don't think the country should stand idly by while the erosion of our moral fiber weighs in the balance. WE need to find this path now, while people are young, and touch them in a way most of them will never experience—

...and dream, and hope, in this land of ours—this land of hope and dreams!!!!!!!!

New Idea, New Time, New ROAD, NEW Path, NEW CAMINO, for us------ so i'll send this little missive along and see where this lands in DC-

TO LOVE, because Love is truly the greatest power we have in this world, and it is our bridge that survives us into the next. It is, and it will be, our legacy. Yours and Mine.

On the end of one journey, and the beginning of a new one,

Knowing that I know little, but I understand more than I did before this sabbatical started,

I leave you, and my sabbatical behind, with this prayer from St. Therese of Lisieux – --Saint Therese is known as the "Saint of the Little Ways"

Saint Therese's Prayer

May today there be peace within.

May you trust God that you are exactly where you are meant to be.

May you not forget the infinite possibilities that are born of faith.

May you use those gifts that you have received, and pass on the love that has been given to you.

May you be confident knowing you are a child of God. Let this presence settle into your bones, and allow your soul the freedom to sing, dance, praise and love.

It is there for each and every one of us.

Nuff said-music and joy and dance and love—trusting that you are exactly where you are meant to be-

Peace
TT

THE END—really!!!!!

WRITTEN MARCH 1ST-- 25TH ANNIVERSARY DINNER AND GIANT'S SUPER BOWL VICTORY REFLECTIONS

2008-03-30T22:08:00.005-04:00

I know I keep using words like FINALE and FINISH and "sabbatical ends", and you're not going to hear from me again UNTIL I'm working-HAVE a JOB, you know, AM EMPLOYED!!!!

But I've continued to adjust and subsist in this spiral of a sabbatical and the joys and experiences that have been encountered.

It's TOUGH out there---- and I'm not kidding!!!!!!

My wife and I decided to go to Anguilla for 5 days as I told her our 25th Wedding anniversary would be approximately one month into my new job and I didn't think it proper to tell new boss(es) I'm in need of a vacation after having been on one for a straight 18 months!!!!!

So off we go, we learn about the Island, we read the books written by the Blanchard's, the salad dressing couple from Vermont who moved to Anguilla 15 years ago to take "a trip to the beach" and made it their home. We arrived at Cap Jaluca, an out of this world beachfront resort that seemed appropriate for celebrating the likes of us (Liz and I) and our hard and enjoyable work of being in love throughout these 25 years time. We love the beach and its relaxing, mellow nature. I think of all the things we have done together sitting on the beach and it fits us truly best. Talking, enjoying company, dining, drinking, reading, contemplating, praying, walking dogs, mourning, recovering, even WRITING can be done quite simply and comfortably on a beautiful, sparsely populated beach with nothing on your feet, very little clothing on your body, and suntan lotion smothering your skin. It fits us. WE are an US. No two ways about it, we get on and examine our lives and reflect and observe, and we look again at each other and say-- is it us? Are we deluding ourselves into thinking we're really normal and committed and comfortable in each other's space or in our own (six weeks without me, six weeks in Spain without her, and we know that it works either way. We are tethered at the hip, like an adult umbilical cord that has gone wireless and telepathic over 28 years (I met her at a bar in 1980, don't forget). Traveling in Asia for weeks, frequent, constant trips the world over for something called "work", and just the normal I'm not going anywhere for two weeks, then I leave on any particular Monday morning at 5:45 am and the next time we have a conversation is Friday night sometime between 7-9pm, depending on which year or decade of the work-career path I was in. And I always relied on Liz to pursue her career with equal and fervent passion, as I was somewhat passionate about her focus, which was of course the one, then two, then ultimately three children I was part-time assisting her in raising. It was an unspoken, unwritten, non-verbal agreement that we had committed to this particular life and woke everyday seemingly enjoying it, pausing occasionally and getting away one-on-one (an essential ingredient in a one-on-one relationship is to go away from here to there (wherever) to make sure there IS a one-on-one; when kids, jobs, clubs, stress, strife, and exterior family presence exists nonstop during the everyday thing we call life!!!!) to regroup the mental and physical nodes of connection and affirming that enjoyment of one another.

So there you have it, we went away and found ourselves at this wonderful restaurant, Blanchard’s, on the NW side of Anguilla looking out to the Ocean, with the beach sand about 5 yards away, our table's two seats facing outward to the Caribbean, and the night sky just turning pink/blue as the Sun has set on the western horizon, and we sit down to a magnificent, slow-paced, sumptuous, naturally fresh dinner. The non-cream based Corn Chowder flavor actually pinged inside your mouth, letting you know there were no fresher ingredients for this soup on the face of the Earth!!!!!! The restaurant's colors and the Blanchard's son's artwork, which adorned each and every wall, oozed beach and blue and soft and subtle but celebratory. We weren't having dinner in a restaurant; we were participating in a culinary and sensory event. The ocean scent combined with the food and the wine combined with the wait staff's deferential but extremely attentive treatment allowed Liz and I to spend some time thinking back on all that has been, all the twists and turns, all that we know, and truly take a breath in our own little space at that table, and reflect and actually discuss, man to woman, what it was like to be.... us. And that's exactly what we did. We know, are fully aware, and as best we can try to fully APPRECIATE, how incredibly blessed we've been on this, our 25th anniversary dinner. We went deep, recognizing that we enjoy and are pretty good at enjoying each other’s company. In a REAL way, without artificial ingredients like pomposity, ostentatious ness (this email excluded because I'm a little concerned with how carried away I'm getting but seem to think there is some higher purpose by me writing this-- you know, a couple in love or “falling out of it" reads this and says "let's try and do that" or something--) okay, where was I-
Without pomp, condescension of others or each other, acknowledging how incredibly quotidian, residential, middle/lower class roots (she's the middle one, by the way) heritage'd, rural, working class, political outsiders, unmoving and non-shaking--- JUST THE TWO OF US in a restaurant with every table full, but without awareness or distraction of their presence, enjoying the moment of celebration for all that has come, and being thankful and thanking God for it, and praying he keeps us safe for all that is to come ahead.

How did the anniversary sidetrack start?? Oh yeah, I said "it's TOUGH" out there!!!!! And I mean it.

What do I mean? Well, one week building houses in New Orleans (December '07) will open your eyes, one meeting with someone dealing with a child (young adult) telling you (their father) to go to hell, one coffee with a single-divorced mom whose child is in college and recognizing her life's focus is moving on and she is left asking "what's next??” all the while wondering if she will ever love another with the faith she put in her original love???-- That’s kinda what I mean?

Or going to the local bar/restaurant, and realizing the majority of that's nights clientele are all falling out of one relationship, managing others, managing kids, and at war with lawyers and money and someone who use to be their "dream" partner.

Or, someone dealing with the incredible loss of their special someone and knowing they have to rebuild, renew, and "get on"--but HOW?

Or the professional executive or working class laborer caught up in the current economic malaise and wondering how he burdened himself with commitments that seem extraordinary large now that the professional work path has been tossed up in the air and no one knows where it will land!!!!!!!!

That’s what I mean by "it's TOUGH out there.

And you know what??? YOU, and certainly I, don't know!!!!!!!! We DON'T KNOW how tough it is for "them", and we don't know the story we think we KNOW, and we don't know DICK or Harry or Mary or Suzie of Johnny so well that we can truly appreciate what they are going through, how they are dealing, and what their Camino holds in store for them when they go home, or next week, or next year or even the dramatically dark thoughts that they had last night----

SO, we should really, REALLY stop talking and judging and opining on the stuff we THINK we know-
We SHOULD just LOVE!!!!! That's it, JUST LOVE!!!!!!

Again, I'm the one just off the trail, you know, that 500 mile walk that took 36 days and spent it walking through Spain, the Camino de Santiago, and I've rejoined my Camino here, my road, my path, and I'm observing people on theirs, and I'm saying here that as people go through their 40's, their 50's, their late 30's, and they midway through make-or-break years or episodes of relationships, or career paths, or lack thereof given Wall Street continues to implode peoples own confidence in their futures, there is a WHOLE LOTTA stuff going on-- and I'm HOPING everyone gets through the STUFF and we all wind up HAPPY TOGETHER-

you know

Remember you and me,
- think about u day night,
So happy together!!!!
For all my life!!

And poof, something twists and turns and the divorce rate is 50% and the LOVE rate is going the other way!!!

That's right, the LOVE RATE!!!!!!!!

The amount of time we spend each day loving one another as we love ourselves each day, every day, it's called the "LOVE RATE" and its going down while the divorce rate, the hate rate, the gossip rate, the judge 'em because I think I know and she's been wronged and he's an a-hole rate (or visa versa)-- all those rates are going up----

It ain't right, people, and we gotta start givin a "lotta love"

It's gonna take a "lotta love", by Nicolette Larson circa 70's music scene-

NOT the love you feel in the 500 person plate charity dinner you attended 3 months ago, I MEAN the "love" you gave while spending time with someone clearly in need of it (your time) and actually listening to what it is THEY are saying, THEY are dealing with, and sharing some compassion and perspective.

And this brings me to ANGER!!!!! We have got to lose the ANGER, people--and we've got to help the people who've got it to LOSE THEIR ANGER. How many stories do I hear about a relationship that has fallen on hard times and a breakup progresses and
the whole objective becomes get the kids AS ANGRY as I am at the OTHER Spouse--- if you're a friend on one side of these things you might even agree that he/she (the other one) is a real a-hole and deserves whatever consequences they are getting--

But encouraging, coaching, coaxing, and conniving someone else to hate one part of two that was responsible for their being kids in this world to begin with is, in my book, hurting the LOVE RATE!!!! Not to say it's screwing with the kids mind ("heck, I'm all messed up I might as well take the whole ship with me!!!")

Well, this where we come in, or maybe one day you come in for me or I for you or who knows, as WE don't KNOW!!!!!! But WE, YOU and ME, we gotta be there showing the path to love, engaging with love, embracing with love, and getting people to surrender to LOVE---

So, if you're wondering how I'm doing after having left my Camino way back in Spain, I guess you can see I'm observing things here but one of my lenses sees things from there--- the walk, the peace, the solitude of a contemplative, SLOWLY moving mind that captures the moment and tries, really tries, to find the goodness and the Godliness in those moments.

What am I doing about? The LOVE RATE? Simple, I'm spending time talking, and listening, and I've even come up with an alternative career path for sometime in my future which I'll go on record here and say anyone feeling they'd like/need to talk to me about it (whatever the "it" is for them) I'm available, and in fact I've already had a few of these-- unscheduled, unplanned, natural conversations that start somewhere and end up, unpredictably, somewhere else that no one of the two would have even dreamed a mere 5 minutes before (I'm not a mind reader, and I've already established above we know nothing, or certainly less than we think about whatever is going on in who we are talking about).

So, me, I'm setting up the TommyT Life Coach sessions, and anyone is invited and welcome--- (by the way, I'm not kidding and I'm READY and I'll be AROUND and available!!!!)
We'll let's just see how it goes---

What can you expect???

1) Music analogies for sure!!!!! And I'll probably pick an opening song for listening and reflection and maybe even a closing song--
SONG/MUSIC THERAPY, although I don't like that word associated with "coaching" because I'll be COACHING, NOT CURING!!!!! If you need a CURE then I'm not the right way to go!!!!

2) An email follow-up with my afterthoughts that might take longer to read then the session!!!! Oh yeah!!!! I can see it now--- dear xyz, -I've been thinking, and--

Well that's how this email, the one your reading right here, got started-- I started with the plane door closing on my way to Steamboat to go skiing with Allie and Matt is meeting us there Tuesday (it's Saturday, march 1st) and the plane door closed, I started reading a story about Bono and how great a world citizen he is and all, and then started thinking and put the article down and the bbery up and AWAY WE GO--- and I started with the concept of sharing the magnificent time this group of people had being together on Super Bowl Sunday watching the Giants win, --- really, that is where I started and you know what, an hour or two into and I haven't even told you about that and you've joined my 25th anniv celebration, we've discussed a very important and new governmental index, the "LOVE RATE", and I've launched a new business even as I can't determine which of three paths I'm going to pursue as I go back to "BEING EMPLOYED"!!!!!!!!

And now I've written a short, non-fiction story!!!!!!

SUPER BOWL SUNDAY!!!!!!

Well, we can't have the GIANTS in the Super Bowl without first talking about how I didn't go to Green Bay for the Championship game after telling a good friend we were going AFTER the Giants beat the Cowboys!!!!

Well I told Bonnie (friend whose Mom is a bigger fan than all of you!!!!) we were going, but then Tuesday became Wednesday and the Green Bay weather report was for MINUS 2 degrees at game time, coupled with the fact that I had an old small TV in my great room, convinced me to let my MS boys have all the freezing fun
And I would go buy a new TV and have a party----
So a small crowd came over (yes, you were invited, I'm quite sure!!)

We watched the game and the emotion continued to rise to the point that it burst as the GIANTS won, and we're going to the SUPER BOWL!!!!!!

And heck, I actually WENT to the SUPER BOWL last year too!!!! So, I started my planning and stuff and then reminded myself that the Super Bowl is one DAMN expensive game and despite my calling it a sabbatical, its still UNEMPLOYED and my BURN RATE would make a DOT.COM look conservative--- oh, and the whole family would "love" to go!!!!

So, I strategically gather the troops in fiendish plan to save a TON of money (my personal life coach skills coming into play!!!)--
Who are the troops???? Well, there all as old as me and have been around me since I was a kid, my homies, my boys from St. Joe's of Toms River, my lifelong friends from grammar school and high school, mostly known as my football teammates (except Jack, he's the musician!!).

Well, I send the signal out to them via radar that we are going to have the "mother" of all super bowl parties, and softly whisper to Liz that we should stay home and have all the troops and their families and in-laws and all up to the house for the party since a lot of them are Giants fans!!!(Oh, did I mention, I'm a NEW YORK fan, no bias--love 'em all, but in ‘69, as a 9yr old kid, my affinity was my dream team seasons of METS, JETS, and KNICKS!!!)

Taking my dad to the 1986 World Series Gooden-Clemens game was just one way I thanked him for making me a Met's fan (again, love the yanks, but I am what I am).

And the troops give the signal that all systems are go, and all the kids are coming, and we are going to have North Carolina outer banks vacation (that where we all would go from 1993-2004, until life got too complicated with ALL the kids and ALL the sports and ALL the schedules) reunion right in my great room, and there'd be this pretty big (okay, HUGE) TV there to watch the game!!!!

The kids, all of them from the North Carolina crowd show except my girls, who are away at college. The rest of them spread from age 16/17 to age 5 or so, and a whole potpourri they are!!!!! Matt, my son, and all these kids just come together like they have grown up their lives together, which they have, and its like they are all cousins and we are all called uncle Tommy or Aunt Lizzy and the like--

And most of the people who are invited come, and the neighbors come, and Baktu from Pakistan, who is visiting as a student with one my of my homies, well he comes too!!!!! Baktu lives with John and Adam and he's attending St. Joe's of Toms River,
only now they call it Monsignor Donovan as they named the school after the founder, Father Larry Donovan, who we all knew quite well.

Well, we had been doing these Super Bowl party in the 80's and 90's, but the lateness of the game and the kids going to school and the rest of us going to work the next day made it inconvenient for everybody to do this every year and traveling to Rumson from all over the state was just a hassle.

BUT, the Giants making the Super Bowl, and excitement with the WAY they made it made coming together as a group for this night undeniable.

So, we did it!!!!!

And so did the GIANTS!!!!

We set the rules up front, the great room was a room of focus-- plenty of space elsewhere for other talk, but once the game started the focus in the great room was to be the football game on the screen (and the commercials, of course).

Small talk, other chatter, kids playing happened, if it happened at all, elsewhere in the house or outside.

And the first half progressed and the GIANTS were very much in the game, and except for one play they outplayed the Pat's.

HALFTIME SHOW--- We had our own!!!!! We had a couple of piano players play. (Baktu being the concertist!!), we had the traditional, FULL BLASTED STEREO version of "Seasons of Love" from Rent, with everybody singing and clapping and grooving and dancing ( this was quite a sight for the neighbors as they hadn't seen this troop age of 20+ people in harmony before)

Then we watched the Tom Petty show, then went back to the stereo on superpower for Guns & Roses!!!!, then sat down to focus on the 2nd half.

It was all coming together!!!! The game, the people, the shared reunion of most and the first union of others, but this night was one of unison. It was OUTSTANDING, and we as the parents were starting to watch a few other things too, like these great kids that have such connectivity, respect, honesty and freedom with each other like they have with few other people in the world. That's right, they all have great friends and schoolmates where they live, but with this group there is no pretension, no "peer" pressure, no need to be anything other than just what they were last year and 5 years ago on the beach. I had the sense that all us parents were taking a little of the "watching the kids" enjoy each others company as much as we were enjoying the parents company and obviously we were ALL fully engaged with the game as it entered the fourth quarter.

I never sat down during the fourth quarter. After the Pat's went ahead and the Giants were getting the ball with 2+ minutes to go I proclaimed to the group that this was OUR time, right here, right now, in my very loud and enthusiastic way, to help the Giants BELIEVE, we had to BELIEVE they were going to win this game.

The same way I knew G'Town was going to beat Kentucky being down by 12 pts at the half in 1984, the same way I KNEW the Mets were going to pull it out in 1986 and stayed in the car to listen to Game 6 instead of pulling into the parking garage and losing the radio signal (and the next batter was Mookie!!), the way-- well, you get my drift.

It was so much fun being with these people in this moment, my guess is we felt just as good as the Giants did, minus 1!!!!

I'm sure many people have incredible experiences of how much fun and joy they had in the simple act of watching a game.

And that brings this post to a close. It won't be sent, so if you're reading and hopefully enjoying this thanks for coming to the blog. RAISE THE "LOVE RATE" all day long.

and for a closing, as usual, I have a little something that caught my eye in the aftermath of the Giants victory over the Pat's, and knowing that I'm writing about the Giants and also about love and romance and blessings, I thought I would close by sharing with you the public announcement at Fordham Prep High School, made the morning of 2/5/08, the day after the Giants victory.

4 February 2008 - Giants Super Bowl Victory--Fordham Prep High School announcement--
Please stand for this morning's prayer:
Today is the Jesuit Feast of the Martyrs of the Mission, but I think these holy men will forgive us if instead we reflect this morning on another great religious theme: miracles in the desert, in particular the one that took place last night in Arizona.
The sports section in recent years has rivaled police blotters for stories that seem to expose the dark side of human nature. Headlines are more likely to feature words like sadism, salaries, and steroids, than they are words like challenge, character, and championship.
But last night's victory by the Giants over the Patriots was filled with moving images and life lessons that reflect sports and humanity at their best.
The Giants game plan reminded us that the hard work of planning and executing can make up for what may be inferior talent.
Their total team effort reminded us that we are at our best when we work for and with others. And it reminded us that each of us can make a contribution, whether we're a star adored by millions or a no-name loved only by our mothers.
The play of the defense reminded us that we can do great things when we act with enthusiasm and intensity.
The images of Jacobs and Bradshaw reminded us that sometimes we measure success in inches, and, at other times, we've got to look to burst out of our current environs to seek new horizons.
Manning to Tyree reminded us never to give up even when we're being dragged down, to always use our heads to keep our acts together, and that a Hail Mary is never out of place.
Watching Peyton root for Eli reminded us that, unlike the Cain and Abel story, genuine glory seeks to be shared, not hoarded.
And, most importantly, this year's Super Bowl is a reminder, going as far back as the Tower of Babel story, that it is not for humans to seek perfection; rather, we are called to do the best with we've been given and to ask God that that be enough.
Let us pray: Heavenly Father, we thank you for the gift of sports in our lives, for the fun and recreation they make possible, but especially for the values they can teach and the virtues they can instill.
Amen.

italics are mine---

May those "virtues", those we saw on that field that day, flourish in a world that needs them
tt

TOMMYT FREEDOM TOUR SABBATICAL FINALE FINISH--EPILOGUE

2008-01-26T13:01:00.001-05:00

first things first---It's January, 2008---hey, didn't this sabbatical start in ???--in like 2006!!!!!!!!!!!

yes, it did!!! It's like when we moved into our house, I told my wife we would renovate the 110 year old barn right away, and I told her the sabbatical would last six months---oh well---

at the bottom of this email (way down about a mile or kilometer!!!) is the link to my Camino Photo book---you should be able to go to it by clicking, but we'll see if this all works--

Second, the Camino "songlist" of songs I cited on my Camino blog will be up on the blog at some point soon, and if you'd like a copy of that songlist and disc just let me know--

OKAY---the FINALE FINISH NOTE---

The TommyT Sabbatical Advisory Service is up and running---and it appears that more people than I know are currently finding themselves on a sabbatical (either through their own doing or someone else's--like someone who lost $$$BILLIONS OR THE PEOPLE WHO MANAGE those that lost $$$gabillions) !!! and squandered the reputation and market-cap of some seriously large companies whose well-being a lot of people who go to work everyday depend on--). Anyway, I don't charge anything for sabbatical advice so if you need it feel free to call on me.

So where did we leave each other??? Some of you I left announcing my Grand Finale (El Grand Finale), but some of you decided the adventure was interesting enough to follow and went to my blog (that's where this email came from--it's published on my blog) during my trek through Spain once or even went blogging everyday. I certainly didn't know I would be writing as much as I did when I left, but looking back on it I'm very glad I was "called" to walk the Camino de Santiago, Spain and I'm also glad I shared it with those who decided to peek into one man's mind on an adventure of a lifetime.

So on Thanksgiving morning, 2007, I started out for Santiago on the last day of trekking. After a beautiful morning sun (the last picture on the blog)and the rain and hail that came at midday, I actually did make it to Santiago and walked into the final destination, the Cathedral where the statue of St. James resides as well as his remains.

And there you have it, I did it !!!!!!!!! I walked a little over 500 miles over 36 days, mostly alone but on the Camino I met all kinds of people from all walks of life who found their way there for equally unique reasons as I did. And that capped off a one-year hiatus from the hustle and bustle of Wall Street.

Conclusions?? Observations?? Insights? I think I covered most of it where it was best covered, on my blog during the trip on the Camino. How would I sum up an experience like that one, the one where you walk 500 miles through mountains with a backpack and sleep in bunk beds next to total strangers and take warm or cold showers (depending on which Ritz!! you are staying in that night)--showers that last about 80 seconds if you're lucky!!!!. Sum that up, TOM!!!!!!!

Okay, I will.
TOM's summary!!!!!
It's quite simple. "ONE never knows how fast life is passing one by until ONE slows down enough to see". That's my quote, so cite me if you use it!!!!

I talked about my three kids (kid's---hah---21, 18 and 14!!). And this May, 2008 I will be celebrating 25 years married to the same woman I met in a bar in Seaside Heights, New Jersey (I think she will be celebrating too, but understandably she ended up with the shorter end of the stick on this trade).

When one goes 3 MPH (miles per hour) while walking for seven hours a day for 30+ days in row---well that certainly changes the pace of life, of thought, of everything, at least for a little while.
And things happen that wouldn't have happened if one were traveling at 70 or 80 MPH, or on the subway train rushing to work, or on a plane getting to the next destination---THERE BARELY ISN'T ANY TIME TO DISCOVER WHY the person next to you is on the plane, let alone the other 199 people. When you walk, there is always time, unless you don't allow for it.

And when one slows down enough, things do happen. Good things, magical things, mystical things, holy things, sacred things---THEY JUST HAPPEN, right before your eyes, and you get to see them up close and realize you are PART OF THE MOMENT, not passing it by.
And somewhere in all that slowdown mode you really can, if you are open to it, see the face of God in all the things and people you meet.

I was (open to it) and I did.

There, that's my summary. I saw God's face in the smiles of a few people I hadn't seen in weeks since I lost them earlier on the Camino trail, only to see them that final day in Santiago at the Pilgrim's mass in the Cathedral. I also saw and felt an emotion quite rare, as if sent within me from somewhere else, that I had just had an experience that will never be recreated by anyone at anytime again---with these people and they with me--my community of Pilgrims--we know what we went through to get here (Santiago), the discoveries we made about each other, but oh so much more the discoveries or revelations that we uncovered within ourselves. AGAPE!!!

It's as if two people who did this walk together don't NEED words to understand each other, and speaking to someone who didn't do it leaves one at a LOSS for the words to describe it.
BUT, I GAVE it my best try!!!!
It's all in the blog in some way shape or form!!!!!!

AND THEN I SAW BRUCE!!!!!!!!!!!
After Santiago I went to Finisterre, the most western tip of the continent of Europe just so I could see it. Then on Sunday, November 25, I flew to Madrid and did the European priceline.com and stayed in my first hotel on the trip and went to the Palacio De Deportes and caught the Bruce Springsteen show in Madrid. Of course the first person I see inside the arena, right next to the stage, is a fellow Pilgrim named Pablo that I had never met on the Camino but I was told by Fabio from Brazil that "Pablo lives in Madrid so look for him at the show". And sure enough, since I was moving slowly enough (I could have just gone straight home to New Jersey), I ran right into Pablo and both of us were pretty amazed. It's all in photos in the attached storybook. I enjoy Bruce and his concerts, but I felt a little in awe of the Spanish zest for a Bruce concert--it was as if they considered this not too different than their favorite Football (soccer) team and this was, by a decade mile, the most enthusiastic and joyful crowd that I have been part of for a Bruce show since....... okay, since 9/24/99 at the Spectrum in Philadelphia (Bruce's 50th Birthday show).

Arrived in Jersey for a couple of days and then went to New Orleans with H.E.A.R.T. 9/11 and we spent a week helping the folks down there get back into their homes for the holidays, and I met even more great people there. And they had bunk beds, so i was right at home--and COLD SHOWERS at Camp Hope in St. Bernard's Parish.

And now I'm home. Holidays are over, kids are back to school, we've all said our HAPPY NEW YEAR's, and now everyone is back to doing whatever it is they do----except ME!!!!!!
I've had plenty of dinners reacquainting and meeting people and talking about the future and what I will do, and it appears there is light on the horizon in this awfully dark financial markets world. Some people even told me that all my blog writings made sense and that they ENJOYED reading about my adventure!!! I am grateful that a few of my musings mights have had a positive or uplifting or simply entertaining impact on a few souls, so thanks for reading.

And NOW I am trying to find my next mountain to climb among all the litter we call the CDO/SubPrime/SOCGEN_FRAUD/leveraged loan/OUT-OF-CONTROL Risk POSITIONS toppled mess.

As the saying goes, WITH ALL THIS MANURE IN THIS PILE THERE'S GOT TO BE A PONY IN THERE SOMEWHERE.

WELL, that is what I am going to find---I'm going to throw that manure on every wall and splatter it near and far until I find that PONY!!!!!!!!!!
What kind of PONY will I ride?? A Technology pony, with e-trading focus? A trading desk pull up a chair, grab a book and start Trading 'em pony?? Maybe both!!!!!!!! Now that would be fun.
or Something brand new????

So I'm in search of my next perfect job---I am not in search of a perfect retirement!!! I KNOW I found the PERFECT SABBATICAL!!!!!!

So where does that leave me with MY CAMINO????
UNPACKING, of course. Each day, in some, shape, or form, I find another layer of experience that folds into my world here. And I unfold it and let it out. I am hopeful, and I sense it is really all up to me, that I keep unpacking forever.
"YOU'RE never lost" when you're on the Camino, and you're never "unpacked" after you've finished it---the CAMINO is constantly coming from within--especially when you slow down and let it come.

Trials and tribulations---more and more it is clear that one of the challenges we face, as we get older is the challenge of taking care of and caring for our parents, if we are so inclined (I'd call it duty, but I know many people don't). Surrounding us this holiday season were many stories of elderly parents of both near and far family/friends who were dealing with health issues/hospitals/death. It is becoming an important part of our life and I truly believe we can do a better job of educating and enlightening those who are thrown into the crisis moment and then have to start looking for answers as to what to do, what kind of healthcare is available-etc--I don't have an answer but let me know if you know of some and I will share them.

I just read the obituary of a man I knew distantly but knew his children as well and I knew it captured their dad incredibly well but it also reminded me of the Camino, so I will share the line that caught my eye with you...

"Throughout his life he believed faith, family, honesty and integrity were the cornerstones of his success"---

Although incredibily saddening to know of the passing of a loved one, it is truly a blessing to have a memory of this nature and the love that has been shared. To think someone THIS good was part of one's life.

We all have our cornerstones, and the foundations cited above are among the highest ideals anyone can have, in my opinion.
What are YOUR cornerstones???? That is what the CAMINO, your Camino and mine, are there for---to take a moment to explore, discover, uncover or define one's cornerstones--one's life.

So, where does that leave us???

Well, the blog exists, so if I have something to say I'll likely throw it up there.
When I find that next mountain, I am sure you will hear about it one way (this way) or another, so you'll know where to find me.

And that leads me to a FINISH---the next time you hear something from me it won't be from my sabbatical!!!!!!
I will be employed---doing what and where is still to be determined, but determined I am to find it.

On my walk, during one of those days I was going slowly enough, I happened upon a conversation between two people--and it lead to books and favorites. I was introduced to a book that day that I noted and read upon my return. As simple and short as this book is I found it equally incredible that I waited till this time in my life to read it---which was fortuitous because had I read this book at another time in my life I might have been traveling a little too fast to catch it the way I did this time.

I became fascinated once again with the coincidences of coincidence---things seem to happen if you let them, and books seem to mean something if you're open to their meaning--and the time is right--etc

The book won a Pulitzer in 1927--

The theme, or question, of the book, according to the author, "is there a direction and meaning in lives beyond the individual's own will".

Sentences just jumped out at me--
Deep
"Now he discovered the that secret from which one never quite recovers, that even in the most perfect love one person loves less profoundly than the other"

The story is of a missionary priest, Brother Juniper, trying to "prove to his converts that our destinies are controlled by God and "everything"--even the apparently random accidental collapse of a bridge, has a divine purpose"

And of the five people on that bridge that day who lost their lives when it collapsed, the last lines of the book go on to say---

"But soon we shall die and the all memory of those five will have left the earth, and we ourselves shall be loved for a while and forgotten. But the love will have been enough; all those impulses of love return to the love that made them. Even memory is not necessary for love."

And the last line of the book reads;

"There is a land of the living and a land of the dead and the bridge is love, the only survival, the only meaning"

from the "Bridge of San Luis Rey" by Thornton Wilder.

May you love and be loved, in your work, in your walk, YOUR CAMINO, in your life. Fill it with love. Let that be your cornerstone.
-------------------------------------I pray it is mine.

Peace,
Tt

----- Original Message -----
From: Shutterfly <mailto:share@service.shutterfly.com>
To: tthees@comcast.net <mailto:tthees@comcast.net>
Sent: Sunday, December 23, 2007 1:22 PM
Subject: tom, your Photo Book was shared

Congratulations tom,

Your photo book was shared successfully! Below is a copy of what your recipients will see.
To share your photo book with more friends, just forward this email to them.

From: tom thees

----------------

Photo
Book from tom thees <http://share.shutterfly.com/action/welcome?sid=0AZuWjFmzbtGLCyA&emid=sharpbshar&linkid=link3>
<http://share.shutterfly.com/action/welcome?sid=0AZuWjFmzbtGLCyA&emid=sharpbshar&linkid=link4>
<http://share.shutterfly.com/action/welcome?sid=0AZuWjFmzbtGLCyA&emid=sharpbshar&linkid=link2>
If selecting "Look now" doesn't work, copy-and-paste this address into your browser:

http://share.shutterfly.com/action/welcome?sid=0AZuWjFmzbtGLCyA <http://share.shutterfly.com/action/welcome?sid=0AZuWjFmzbtGLCyA&emid=sharpbshar&linkid=link5>
<http://www.shutterfly.com/shop/product_c18000/Photo_Books> <http://ai.shutterfly.com/ai?hb=DM541019M7FD&ai=EMC-share_PB_sharer>

Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

October 11, 2007 invitation note TOMMYT FREEDOM TOUR GRAND FINALE---EL GRAND FINAL!!!!!

2008-01-25T12:56:00.001-05:00

----- Original Message -----

From: Tom Thees

To: tom thees

Sent: Thursday, October 11, 2007 6:09 PM

Subject: TOMMYT FREEDOM TOUR GRAND FINALE---EL GRAND FINAL!!!!!

WOW!!!! THAT WAS SOME SUMMER!!!!!!!!!!

and since I was in the OCEAN on Columbus Day MONDAY with 80+ degree air it still is some summer!!!!!!!!!

Especially for those of you NOT on sabbatical and employed in my working sector of the universe, better known as the CREDIT Market's. Well, this summer it was known as the 'LACK OF CREDIT' markets, and now everyone who never learned what commercial paper does in our economy has a bit more education. Yeah, that's it, it was an EDUCATIONAL summer. The kids who know how to drive Range Rovers as their first car now know a thing or two (or $BILLION) about trading in markets that have volatility!!!!!!!!!

WELL, quick and to the point----here we are at the GRAND FINALE of my sabbatical!!!! Yup, I'm going back to work. Where, what, who, when, oh those things are still to be determined. But for now, I've determined I've got too good a FINALE to try and top this one!!!!!! AND THEN IT'S ONTO WORK IN 2008.

Baja Cali, U2 in Hawaii, Coach K, Bill Gates, THE POPE in ROME, they are all going to take a back seat to this one I've got cooking ( I think, anyway, or why the heck would I be doing it and calling it the FINALE). NO hotels, no credit cards, no luggage, but it will beat them all.

Not interested, don't care, don't have the time as you dig out from the summer markets---no worries, you, and everyone, here and now has an option---

You can opt in, and go to my blog, http://tommytfreedomtourblog.blogspot.com/

and subscribe to the feed so you get my updates from the "EL GRAND FINAL"

you can always GOOGLE THE BLOG, by TYPING, ONE WORD NO SPACES, tommytfreedomtourblog in your google window

or opt out, and then you'd have to pay for the book version when you tell your friends "I was on his email list when"!!!!

YOUR CHOICE, as always. Only one difference is that you will not be getting any emails from me on my "EL GRAND FINAL", as I can only post to my blog and will NOT have email (or your email either, which you may consider the EIGHTH WONDER OF THE WORLD given how long some of my emails have been).

SO, we are moving this dialogue to my BLOG, and I am going to SPAIN for the "EL GRAND FINAL"!!!!!!!!!!!

TOM, WHAT'S ON THE BLOG??---

EVERYTHING---my Tour Updates, my other writings/musings over the last few months, my wife's birthday present!!!! It's all there for you to read and hopefully enjoy and be entertained and potentially even provoke a thought or two on your own life!!!! Hey, almost like the lottery, YOU NEVER KNOW!!!!

SO, TO THE BLOG IT IS!!!!!

http://tommytfreedomtourblog.blogspot.com/

AND WE'LL CONTINUE THERE---

No virus found in this incoming message.
Checked by AVG Free Edition.
Version: 7.5.488 / Virus Database: 269.14.8/1063 - Release Date: 10/11/2007 9:11 AM

PIX:Just 1k into today's walk, and having finished my final note--this is what I was looking at-HERE COMEs THE SUN--- AMEN

2007-11-22T04:05:00.000-05:00

Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

The BRIGHT LIGHT-REDEMPTION- and Heaven here on Earth--THE FINALE of the FINALE- THE END

2007-11-22T03:31:00.001-05:00

I have a friend, still very much here on this earth, who told me recently, while he was hospitalized with some radical unknown stuff, that one night with all of medical sciences contraptions attached to his limbs, that he SAW the BRIGHT LIGHT---
And that for a while it "CALLED" him, and it was peaceful, and that he was under the "impression" he was DYING, and THEN, something, SOMEONE INTERVENED!!!! And said NO, GO BACK, and he was BACK--- in his hospital bed, looking like (I didn't tell him this at the time, but it's true) he "almost died"!!!!!

Guess what!!!!! He "almost" did!!!! But the bright light sent him back!!!

Thanks!!!! I like having him, and all my friends and family, around!!! It is something I have been amazingly blessed with, and it is something I feel incredibly BLESSED to have been so spared, in my own view, the extreme challenges life provides.

It brings me to REDEMPTION----

WE ALL FALL DOWN, man is quite imperfect, BUT we GET UP AGAIN

With Hope,and GRACE!!!!

We are human, so WE fall down!!!!!!
BUT WE get up again!!!!!

Thanksgiving----

My Thanksgiving-- THIS ONE!!! Is going to be quite different than the last 25 or so!!!!

I have spent them at a variety of houses (mine and others in the family!!), and its always a JOYOUS event, and my Mother-in-law plays the piano, and we ALL SING "The Impossible Dream"-- I need to look into WHY we sing this song more, to see if there is more to it than TRADITION--- but nothing wrong with tradition, if that's all it is!!!!

We have been singing it for as long as I've known my wife, and been part of "HER" family---- and now it's part of MY family tradition, except THIS year I'm a a few thousand miles away!!!

The Impossible Dream!!!!!!
To go into Hell for a Heavenly Cause!!!
To follow that QUEST--
To REACH, that UNREACHABLE STAR!!!!!

And it's from the play "The Man from La Mancha", and that's in SPAIN!!!!! So, if I'm missing Thanksgiving, at least it's TRUE to my TRADITION that I miss it in the land of Don Quixote!!!!!

CAN WE REACH that UNREACHABLE STAR????? Is it in Santiago de Compostela, St James in the 'field of the Stars'?

Is it simply the life we live where "I still haven't found what I'm looking for?". Forever????? And never FIND IT?

Or as Sugarland sings, there has GOT to be "SOMETHING MORE"
First off, if this lead singer from Sugarland had been singing in FRANCE, I THINK I'd hear her in on this side of SPAIN!!!!! She can crank it!!!

Something MORE!!!!!! Isn't that all it is!!!!

"Happiness is something WE CREATE!!!!
"Armaggedon could be knockin at my door, but I AIN't going to answer that's for SURE!!!"

Because there's GOT TO BE something MORE!!!--

And we MAKE MISTAKES, and WE FALL DOWN!!!!!

BUT, Redemption allows us the opportunity to RENEW, ReCommit, Re-Instill in our own lives our COMMITMENT to CREATE our HAPPINESS!!!!!!

To CREATE our 'Heaven' here on EARTH-----

Our Father, Who art in Heaven!!!!!!

Thy KINGDOM COME!!!!! On EARTH as it is in HEAVEN!!!!

BRING IT ON!! RIGHT HERE!!!! RIGHT NOW!!!!!!!!

I'm in most respects the "same" guy who started this camino, MY CAMINO!!! But in so many ways I'm not "quite" the same----

-"i've been places, where I question all I think I know, and I believe, I believe, THIS could be HEAVEN!!!!!"
(Tracy Chapman)

Peace, Love, and Understanding!!!!!

We could, given it's attainable, CREATE HEAVEN here on Earth!!!!

And that, simply, is MY WISH for ALL of US this THANKSGIVING

I am so thankful, and won't quite know how to contain myself, as I approach Santiago!!!!

I am most thankful for MY family, provided and given to me as a gift by my wife, Liz--- that I have three incredibly vibrant, creative, unique individuals that I call "my kids" !!!!!!

I have gratitude, sitting here contemplating I'm walking to the FINALE of my FINALE---

St James awaiting my arrival---

It looks like I will be arriving with a few pilgrims-- Josh, Rebecca (the Aussie's), Scott (NZ), and Cara (Texas) and Pepe, although Pepe ran out of Spanish Gasoline and took a bus yesterday --- so he didn't get to experience the TWO RAINBOW's I saw--which means he also missed the HAIL!!!!! Size of the hail? I'd say for about one minute it was baseball sized!!! Then went to normal size hail-then just rain!! THE COMPLETE camino experience---
Cara!!!so Cara and I were walking and since she's going to Madrid I convinced her to go to the BRUCE show Sunday night in Madrid--she says, yeah, she'll do it because she really liked Bruce the last time she saw him, in Austin Texas--- and I say to Cara--"in Austin the time they had to reschedule the show because Clarence had the eye problem??"
Well, CARA and I were at the SAME BRUCE show in AUSTIN TEXAS a few years ago, and now we are finishing the CAMINO on the same day--how bout that for coincidence!!!!

So the ground will be very wet today, but as morning breaks it looks like there are some clouds, but also some clear sky.

And the albergue was warm, so a good night sleep.

And now, it's time to finish up and start walking--

This is really it---and this is all you will read about my finale's final stage-- because TODAY, in Santiago, is NOT for WORDS--

It's like the SOPRANO's, and I've got David Chase directing, and Tony's in the diner and there are 5 probable assasin's right there with him, and ZAP--it's OVER--no finish, or not the finish one was expecting!!! -i know, Sal, it's "dead to you"

Well, it won't be that dramatic here, but the end of my Camino won't be a "blog" event-- but all the messages, the notes, the forgiveness, "What IF?", prayer lists, Why not what?, The priest on the bike with the prayer (his name was JESUS, in case you forgot), Reflections, the JUICE, a treatise, or two, and even though it's "THE END", I still SEE MY LIGHT COME SHINING THROUGH,

And I know, sitting here ready to walk the last 20 kilometers, and remembering when I had 800 kms to go!!!!!

I know, one day, WE ALL ...SHALL ... BE...RELEASED!!!!!!!

Until then, until that LIGHT comes calling, I'm going to make it MY task to go find that "Something MORE, a Happiness being something WE CREATE", ;

to be able to wake up and say
NO MORE I STILL haven't found- U2!!!!!

"I HAVE FOUND WHAT I'M LOOKING FOR!!!!!!!! And I'm going to try and find it AGAIN and AGAIN and AGAIN!!!!

With a little peace, love, and understanding, we CAN ATTAIN that goodness, that "ON EARTH as it is in HEAVEN"

It's all about our hearts, and what's in them-- when we meet the everyday man on the streets, the pilgrims on OUR Camino!!!!

I am hopeful you've enjoyed MY camino, and I'm "remembering" it all as I contemplate both the CONTENT and CONTEXT of My Camino---

I'm remembering sitting in that dorm room listening to that concert on that September night, 1978 (maybe a Tuesday, as I recall)--

And I'm thinking of ALL the things that have happened in my life from that moment to this one, a dorm room at Rutgers to an Albergue near Santiago, Spain with 8 bunk beds with four other people, and it's time to move on,

And I'm thinking that all those "things", life events, 3 kids, a woman who loves me after all this time, and all my adventures---a bunch of job's I've loved!!!! And all of the people, family, and friends that have INTERCOnNECTED to make it all so, and I'm concluding,

Right here, right now-

That's it's BEEN an IMPOSSIBLE DREAM--!!!!!!

And I've LIVED IT--!!!!!!!!

And I'm SO VERY VERY THANKFUL for the blessings that have been, and I'm looking forward to MY NEXT....

UNREACHABLE STAR!!!!!!!!!!

And wishing and praying for you to attain your's, on YOUR Camino, wherever it may take you.

Oh, and I've got JUST ONE MORE THING TO SAY!!!!!!!!

RAISE YOUR HANDS!!!!!!! ( Bruce, a live version, please)

Because Santa Claus is COMING to TOWN!!!! And this year Santa might just be a little thinner!!!!

Next "unreachable star", YOU'RE UP!!!!
BRING IT ON!!!!

Amen.
The END!!!!

Peace
TT

Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

THINGS- 50k AWAY!!!

2007-11-20T10:21:00.001-05:00

TIME TO WONDER

I was thinking of what is very abundant on the Camino?

1) Animal poop!!!! All kinds!! With all kinds of different scents!! And following up on that is the numerous farm fields seeded with a healthy dose of fertilizer---the walk is on paths, through forests, in open air spaces, and at any time away from the city you might run into a small herd of cows or lambs!!!

2) Cigarettes and cigarette smoke--everywhere you turn, in the villages or the cities, it is clear why tobacco companies will never suffer a recession in Spain!!!!--- I have adjusted to it, but I am very thankful that in the US people can't smoke where I'm eating, where I sleep, -- almost everywhere inside I go except a casino--

So much of both---

So that's an observation I don't think I've made yet!!! But the farms, the animals, the bars, the cigarettes--
They are part of "my camino", and at times they dominate the scent of my walk!!!

People/pilgrims- on the camino-- sometimes very prevalent, sometimes you see no one!!!

BREAD-- is everywhere, and it's very good-- and after 6 or 7 hours of walking you're hungry for carb's, and bread with soup, bread bocadillo's, bread alone-- I think I've eaten MORE BREAD in the last 30 days than I have in the last two years-- and very fortunately for me I am burning more calories than I consume--

Had I had a "diet" focus I would have brought a dietician and physiologist with me for morning yoga and gotten my fruits, veggies, eggs, and soups to dominate my diet--- but I'll worry about that when I get home. That would have been a different, and less free, camino.

Who is the Camino for?

Well, first off, you have to want the Camino--either be called to it or just plain "ready for adventure"--i have had a rolling group of friends based on the day, one's health, the weather, etc-- one day it's the Spanish teacher, one day it's Pepe and Spanish Gasoline!!!

But I thought about it, and I think there is no limit, or limitations, for qualifying for the Camino!!!!

YOU CAN DO IT!!!! If you want-
And it's not for "everybody", but it is certainly for "ANYBODY" who WANTS it!!!

For instance, the Camino is for those who have many choices and paths, and want to reflect on those paths--
And try and figure out which path to take (although TShea's advice on not taking the path where the bridge has fallen down is duly noted).

The Camino is also for those with no where else to turn, with no path-- the CAMINO is here for those people, too!!

I've met people from both avenues and following both paths---

How did I make it this far--how do any of us?

Despite our inner confidence it isn't all YOU or ME!!!!

The camino is marked-- with yellow arrows, brick stands with scallop shells (st james symbol), in pavement with scallop shells, Yellow arrows--etc-
And then there are the pilgrim made "arrows" with rocks, the man-made crosses---

And there aren't too many of these waymarks, but they kinda of appear JUST WHEN you think you're lost!!!! (Except that first day for me when I was in lala land and wasn't familiar enough with these guideposts).

And I'm thinking of words I have received since arriving, from friends, that have crystallized, enhanced, or clarified very unclear things in my mind!!!!!

For instance, I heard that Stevie Wonder played MSG in NY last week-- and at one point he just blurted out, in between songs, Stevie Wonder says "GIVE UP THE HATE and MOVE ON, people!!!"-- and I'm thinking HEY, THAT's WHAT I've been saying!!!!
Isn't it? Thanks, Stevie!!!!

And this other comment has stuck with me since I read it, and it's a I "wish" I said that, but I'm GLAD someone did--!!
TShea said "but, the right to think that world goodness is attainable is not only God-given, but God-inspired. If we all try to make people's lives better, we WILL"

I agree!!!! #1; it is attainable, this WORLD GOODNESS--i've seen it many times on my camino!!! #2; it is an exceptionally worthy calling to wake up and have as your purpose to help this world attain goodness.

And many others have been helpful to me as I have "evolved"--

And one friend sent me a note and wished me luck "unpacking" from this trip, and he said he expected the "unpacking" would take a LONG TIME--
People, it's not about the clothes in the backpack!!!! ( I mean, two sets of clothes that have been overworn for 30-40 days, with chances much of what was brought and worn will be deemed unusable back home!!)

How long will it take me to UNPACK? To unwind, to evolve the discoveries of this walk? I don't know, but I suggest it will be a very, very long time before I am truly UNPACKED--

And that brings me to a final thought on something there is an abundance of, or was, in my case given I am a mere two days from Santiago!!!

What's that, you ask?

Appropriately--

It is, the abundance of TIME--- WOW, a discovery I'm glad I realize during the walk instead of after--- I have been BLESSED with TIME, and I hope I am respecting that blessing enough on this Camino, my Camino.

It has, and will be for quite some time, a TIME like no other in my life, including the other parts of what I refer to as my sabbatical--

My TIME TO WONDER
Fury and the Slaughterhouse(the band)--quite a name for a band from Germany, eh!!!
TIME To WONDER

"We move in seconds in a world of hours and days" (that's this century, in centuries of old on this walk the world moved in WEEKS and MONTHS)

The song questions our "right to wonder" given all the demands on our time!!!! and the reality and illusions we live within--

Well, no illusions, I have WONDERED!!! And it is "pura maravilla" !!!!!!! "Simply marvelous" in english!!!!

Wishing you, and yours, a WONDER WONDERFUL THANKSGIVING!!!!!

And the TIME, this Thanksgiving, to do some WONDERing of your own---

Peace, 50k away

TT

Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

"Almost There"

2007-11-19T17:10:00.001-05:00

Jersey Shore image---

Image of a roller coaster, that takes 30+ days to get to the apex, the top, and then one day it sits just there, on the precipice, and then the final day the coaster commences it's descent and climax, and everyone on the ride is SCREAMING with excitement through that quick but incredible finale!!!!
"It takes "seconds" to fall!!!!"

We are "almost" (I say we because if you're still with me, reading, then you've got a part of this experience, at least the part I can communicate with words and as best as I can do it-- (extreme limitations both on my talent and the parts that fit to words)

We are "almost" at the precipice, but not quite--
Portomarin-- last night's town, has a huge, tall bridge that highlights how little rainfall there has been in Galacia, and Spain in general, over the last month. Go to the web if you're interested, as it's NEWS here-- again, they have yet to come looking for the pilgrim with his "angels", but they are starting to get a bit restless over the weather--it's a topic in the bars-etc-- I tell them "only a few more days" and then you'll have more rain than you'll need!!!!

Statistics--
I've gone through the 100k to go mark, and as of tonight there appears to be 90-95 kilometers to go, depending on who you rely on.
We started with 800 kilometers to go in St. Jean Pied-de-Port,---that was FRANCE!!!! And traversed most of Northern Spain (still got some to go!!)
Anyway, my guidebook has 310 pages, and I'm on page 284--- the Camino, this "roller coaster ride", has 4 walking days left--Mon, Tues, Wed, Thursday-- Thursday, God willing, I will arrive in Santiago!!!! Friday-Sunday I will walk to Finisterre and finish the Camino Frances at the end of the world (1492).

I'm on my way-- and I'm "Almost There"-- it's an album by "Mercy Me"-- and there are plenty of good songs on it-- but "On My Way To You" is the one I am key-ing in on with tonights themes--

"Almost there, almost where I'm suppose to be,
It's not all clear, but You keep showing me,
With every step, the more my heart moves to your beat,
Just like where I'm headed, there's joy in the journey,

"As I'm on my way to you"

And there has been immense joy in my journey, and each day it's never quite clear, but becomes clearer, and while I know I am physically walking, I am also spiritually watching, searching, seeking the path that is meant for me-- and here I am (oop's, that's a song on that album too!!!"Here I am") so close to the destination and yet at peace with what has been revealed and not concerned with what will or won't be discovered over the next days/week.

It will be what it will be, and God willing, and but for the grace of God, go I-- closer and closer----

And NOW it's Monday night, and another 16 miles (27k closer) as we arrive in Palas de Rei!!!!

I mean, 3 nights from now, about mid-day thanksgiving for you, I will arrive in Santiago!!!!

Today, Monday, the old saying "you CAN'T have RAINBOW's without the RAIN came into play--

Rain pants, rain cover for backpack, rain EVERYWHERE!!! Okay, so I'm HAPPY it's raining, as I'm sure ALL pilgrims need to deal with it, and I would have been cheated to have gotten through Galacia without RAIN!!!!! And the region NEEDS rain, as any Spanish news tells me---

I'm thinking how did Jesus and his Apostle's deal with the elements--- "yes, we'll take the gore-tex treated raingear, please, with our sandals"!!!!

Almost, almost there, but it takes quite long each day!!! But it continues to be fulfilling and uplifting all in one---

Was thinking "who'll stop the rain", but I didn't need it to stop!!!

Then that got me thinking freedom, and finale, and "Fortunate Son", and Creedance Clearwater!!!!

But the walk is so long, and wet, and evolved, I just have to let it be that I'm ALMOST THERE!!!!!

I had a conversation about the "WHAT" the right "CHURCH would be-- one that would welcome all, regardless of their faults, one that would embrace those that have made mistakes, one that was inspirational, uplifting, allowed clergy to be celibate or married, as they choose---wow, pretty big "wish list" for this world!!!

Anyway, I just professed my simple "it's out there, you got to find it" philiosophy--- and yes, it needs to find you-- I mean, every Sunday morning Joel pack's them in down in TEXAS!!!! 30,000 strong!!!! And all the empty seats at many masses in Jersey!!! Anyone asking WHY???

Well, it can get quite complicated, this type of discussion, so we leave it that we are ALL (about 8-10 pilgrims on today's route) ALMOST there, and that it "looks" like this will be the group of people I "experience" SANTIAGO with!!!!

I am hoping Simona catches us, and any of my other friends I haven't seen in a few days.

I am also hoping all my wet stuff dry's for the morning---

Peace

TT
Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

The Aussie's// and Pontevedra

2007-11-18T14:27:00.001-05:00

So, did I tell you about the Aussie's who found each other on the Camino, after one of them searched facebook!!!! And realized someone else was here that he might want to meet-- so Josh, a chef, 21 yrs old, found Rebecca (26) on facebook and they realized they were a day apart-- too bad Josh didn't know Rebecca was with Scott from New Zealand--- but it's all good on the Camino-- so Rebecca is a stewardess--on A YACHT ( a very big one owned by a famous person!!) So that's her "job"!!!!
And she looks the part, which my guess is how Josh "found" her on facebook. And Scott is a chef on a less famous boat, but that's in the summer--in the winter he cooks at a house in the French Alps!!! Again, his JOB!!!! And Josh is walking the camino and then he's going to find a JOB!!!! Like Rebecca's or Scott's!!!! Unless of course he finds another Rebecca first!!!!

Okay, so here we are, walking along and I'm thinking about the "coincidence" of me meeting a group of students studying tourism from "Pontevedra"--

You see, I know Pontevedra--- as in Ponte Vedra, Florida--- in fact, I have been told there is a grade school classroom in Florida that is "praying" for me!!!!! I've been told all this, and then I meet the girls from Pontevedra, Spain, and I tell them there is this great place with the same name in Florida. And as an aside, I recommend the boys in Florida, when they get a bit older, visit the town with their namesake in Spain!!!
Okay, that aside, let's get to the classroom ----

So here I am praying for my list of people and everything else that I can think of, and I've got a class praying for me-- and some music comes to me that might allow that class to appreciate my appreciation.

The first song is "That Extra Mile" by the Winans with R. Kelly.

Okay, so I'm in Samos, next to the Monasterio, and we have gone an EXTRA 4 miles out of our way so we can 1) see the Monasterio, which is closed and 2) to walk the path less travelled, and more peaceful--

And it is peaceful, but we go EXTRA miles--- and this song, played loud, reinforces in one the knowledge that there is someone (SOMEONE!!!) who will go that extra mile for you-- because HIS love goes on and on--

So, class, keep that in mind, when you've got a long way to go, that you've always got SOMEONE there
with you---

And don't be afraid to THINK BIG---
I mean HUGE--MASSIVE--especially when someone tells you "you can't"!!, or "you're not talented enough" or "qualified" or "fall short" in some way, shape, form or measure---maybe it will take the form of a rejection letter from a college!!! I like those the best!!!! It's OKAY!!! Just think BIGGER than THEM!! And keep on GOING FOR IT!!

LIKE why go for a "walk in the park", when you can do the WHOLE "CAMINO de SANTIAGO"!!! Yeah, Big like THAT, or bigger!!!!

Okay, and the second song that I thought of is "All Over Me" by a band called "Benjamin Gate"-- you might need some help finding it, but there is a cool music video with this song--

It's all about Jesus' love being "all over me"--- but it's way cool, and I would prefer anyone who seeks it out listen to it quite LOUD!!!!

Okay, so class in Florida-- you're assignment!!!! Get the work finished 5 minutes early two days in a row this week (hey, it's thanksgiving so it should be a light week anyway)
And one of the techie kids with an ipod and player please get these songs so they can be played--and you can appreciate MY APPRECIATION--

Because, we can all use a little help going that mile, or EXTRA MILE, as the case may be!!!!

Peace, no where near PonteVedra, Florida, and not really that close to Pontevedra, Spain either, but a lot closer to Santiago than when I started

Peace
TT

Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

Inward Bound

2007-11-18T09:04:00.001-05:00

Stars
Girl from Texas
Inward Bound
Octopus for LUNCH
ORUJO!!!!

Stars!!!!

I forgot to tell you that I slept next to a window on one of those starry nights, where the moon is low and the stars shine bright-- it was at the albergue in Astorga--come to think of it I don't recall many albergue's with windows-- very bright lights at 7am, but no windows.

Anyway, I was noticing the window, and the stars above (without my glasses on) when I noticed one star radically brighter, so bright I put my glasses on to make sure it wasn't something else-- and no, it was just a bright light in the sky, peering down on me, and me up at it, knowing that it had some connection to this Camino-
Santiago de Compostela in english is translated as "St. James in the field of Stars". So I saw my first star (again, most nights I'm in bed so early I never look outside).

I met the girl from Texas-- remember I said I was told there was someone from TX--- well I met Cara tonight--San Antonio, took a CARGO SHIP to Spain (two weeks), and is walking the whole camino, so my first American doing the whole trip. 29 yrs old and really loved her two weeks on the ship-- with 30 or so crew and a girl from Poland and her!! And now the camino as well.

My body's natural position is LAYING DOWN-- I have determined this last night in the albergue in Sarria as I had been sitting, etc, during dinner but laying down in bed and stretching the body told me that the only natural recovery for a body, and foot pads, that walk 7 hours a day is to LAY DOWN-- despite one month of this, every night I reach a level of fatigue, and pain, that makes it seem that it's the first night of this experience. The difference between the first night and now is I actually recover fully by morning, as gravity doesn't own me when I am laying down!!!!

Inward bound--- I was wondering why they call "outward bound" "outward", because I know their real objective is "inward". It's very similar on this trip. We walk with nature (and sometimes in small cities, like last night in Sarria-- I wasn't mentally prepared for a small city after such a majestic walk the last two days---)

Anyway, inward bound-- the external event of walking, on the camino is one aspect of the trip-- the other aspect of the trip is what happens, should one be open to it, on the inside-- in ones thoughts, mind, heart and soul---

I guess some people do the camino with merely touristic type objectives--- I guess-- but for me, knowing some of the history of this walk, the 1200 years it has existed, the countless pilgrims that have taken on the mountains, the weather, the elements, for the saving of their own soul, it seems to me to degrade the walk to have as your primary objective to "see the camino"--but I won't be judgmental--- I bet anyone who starts out thinking one thing allows it to evolve with each step, as I have, such that whatever YOU THOUGHT you were getting yourself into becomes something so MUCH MORE than you imagined--- hey, "it's just a walk", right???? RRRIIIGGGHHTTT!!!

I know why I'm here, and that's enough for me--

Where am I, right now, speaking of this "inward bound" person?

I am at lunch after a solid morning 10am- 1:30pm of walking-- we crossed the barrier where Santiago is LESS THAN 100 kilometers away--

Lunch, since I am with Pepe, is traditional Galacian fare-- and we have moved from Red Wine to white, and it's no jamon & queso!!! Today we have octopus, a Galacian specialty!!! For lunch, with some soup, and not typical of me but very typical of Pepe, we have wine (white wine for the first time in Spain for me--but we are now in the area of where fishing is primary, so white will be very prevalent, I am told).

Anyway, as a courtesy the Restaurante has offered the "house" ORUJO as the after lunch digestif--- what is ORUJO? You ask? I would say it is "Spanish GASOLINE"!!! In achohol form!!!! But fortunately, they have a "lightweight" version called Orujo Herbal, which I can actually drink without my body shaking.
It is not uncommon in bars for breakfast to see Cognacs and beers aside cafe's!!!! Or a little cafe con Orujo!! ladies and gentleman, START YOUR ENGINES!!!!!

So, we are less than 100k, less than 62 miles, and almopst four days away from Santiago!!!! I've been walking for over a month, and with each step now I try to stay within myself, knowing that God willing I will arrive in Santiago to celebrate Thanksgiving like never before--but I have much walking to do, and I need to continue to let my mind, my heart, and my soul go where they might over these days so not to rush Santiago, or Finistere!!!!

And the Orujo Herbal has settled in, and hopefully won't slow me down too much for the last 9k of today--

And I go back outside, which will allow me to go back inside as well--

Inward bound, all the while my feet take me forward!

I am sure there will be a song that can express my enthusiasm for this part of Spain, the people, and the Orujo!!! But I'm going to need to let that Orujo work its way and get back to you on the musical expression for Spanish Gasoline--

For now,
Peace, from Ferreiros, 98k away from the field with the Stars

Peace,
TT

Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

PIX:From the TOP-- the white stuff in the distance are clouds!!!!

2007-11-18T02:36:00.000-05:00

Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

Friday, glorious Friday

2007-11-17T08:56:00.001-05:00

The most spectacular day on the Camino, physically and naturally.

It appears I am on top of the world, like I am 5000 feet above the hill where Julie Andrews sings "the hills are alive, with the sound of music"!!!! Yes, that's it!!!! I have a vista that looks out for miles and miles, from O'Cebreiro, an enclave tucked into the a moutaintop. The few pilgrims here ask "what time did we get in" and how did we find it in the dark--- I explain we got lucky---

So now it's morning, and the albergue in O'Cebreiro was OUTSTANDING-- about 6/7 people in a room with 100 beds, so plenty of space, but even more important it was heated!!!! And warm-- so sleeping was great (last night in Villafrance I had the sleeping bag zipped up around my head!!!-but that place, those people, and their homecooked meal will always be a fond memory for me--did I tell you Kelty is staying there--at the albergue the family runs in Villafrance--yes, she has decided to stay for as long as it seems good and help out around the albergue welcoming the daily flow of pilgrims--kelty, the 21 year old Canadian--going with her flow on "her" camino!!!!

Okay, so it's morning in O'Cebreiro, and its freezing but the sky is BLUE!!! Headband ear muffs, ski gloves, jackets zipped, orange fleece fully engaged--i'm ready for what is advertised as a "downhill" walk after yesterday's up up up hill!!!

And the wind is howling, and I'm thinking what do these folks do when it snows-- they don't go anywhere --but if I counted right there are 10 houses and 5 bars!!!!! So I think they are ready for winter when it comes--

And we start our walk and back to the vista's, the views!!! They just don't stop-- and about halfway thru this day I realize that todays walk, on paths, past the perigrino monument, above all the valleys below, is truly the most picturesque walk on my entire camino--- that's it, today is the #1 picturesque day!!!!! And the weather to make it so, because if its cloudy and snowing or rainy then the views and the day, and my enjoyment of them, is different--

They say the weather in northern Spain hasn't been this dry, this lack of rain, in 50 YEARS!!!!! I wonder who that pilgrim was that time!!!!!

And now we are close to today's destination, but we run into a group of about 20 students who are studying tourism from PonteVedra, Spain!!! And me being an American is unique and interesting and so the conversation starts!!!

And they are walking the camino for one day and one night as part of their class--- people tell me this part of the Camino gets frequented by the "weekend" walkers--- okay, and now here is a second group of students not connected with the first, and now I'm a bit worried the albergue's will be full in TriaCastella-- and sure enough, when they get there they ARE FULL- so Pepe and I and a few other pilgrims are in the pension for the night-- warm shower so no problem!!!!

And the day comes to a close, and we are closing in, and getting near, the highlight of the trip---

I mean, there are some beautoful views and the physical natural beauty is quite something, and I did see leaves during the walk, too!!!!

So, this camino has it all, but I am wondering more about whether one can see between the lines, in between each word, for the things I can't express with words--

I'm not sure how to say it, other than there is so much here that words just can't, won't capture---

That's the part of the Camino I continue to unfold----it's just about adding up the totality of it all and knowing that what I was, who I am, and where I've been and where I'm going are all so different now--hey, I know, it's just walk!!!!

Well, I'll try and remember that--

From Samos, Spain, sitting on a brick, next to the Monasterio de Samos, with half of Saturday behind me, and a glorious, blue sky and of course, sunshine on my shoulders--

Looks like I am leaving the mountains, but I don't go by the book anymore-
One foot in front of the other!!!

Peace
TT
Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

later Thursday-and -YOU'VE got a friend

2007-11-17T08:27:00.000-05:00

I am walking the longest and most challenging ascent of the Camino, from VillaFranca to O'Cebreiro--it's 20 miles (32kms), and the altitude will go from 1500 feet to approx 5000 feet -- and I am taking this on for most of the day while I await news on Jake--news I get about 85% through and get good news that jake seems much better-- and that allows me to relax a touch, and I've only got 5k left to do (all uphill, but the last 10k has been uphill too), and we run into Manuel!!!!!!

Pepe, my new friend on the Camino since the last night in Villafranca, and I run into Manuel. Pepe, from the island of Ibiza, Spain, and Manuel get along so well that Manuel insists we sit and have some wine-- FOR TWO HOURS- we do this, and when we tell him we still have more to walk he is quite sorry to see us go--and keeps pouring from his jug!!!!

These small towns, and the genuine, relaxed, and comfortable people within these towns, are things I am truly taking to heart. I say town, but it's a pueblo, a "village"-- maybe 50-100 people live in these villages. And all the farm animals-- these people grow and farm what they eat-- chickens, cows, pigs, lamb, etc--it's all local and fresh!!!! Genuine--like it's easy to see their heart--or soul, if you are open to seeing it.

We talk of many things, but eventually our talk gets to the "two GREATEST commandments--"Love the Lord God with all your heart, soul, and mind, and Love your neighbor as yourself"-- and the discussion revolves around how hard, sometimes, one finds it hard to love "yourself". And if you don't love yourself, your outward love can be quite complicated.

So loving oneself, wholly, everyday, starts the rest of the ball rolling downhill, and I think about how honest and open the conversation is, and about one "knowing" that one can sometimes find it hard to love oneself is certainly not a bad thing, because knowing the self is certainly the gateway to loving the self, right?--i think so---

And I always think of how tied up my spirituality is with the music that soothes me and takes me places I don't get to all "on my own". My spirituality is part of me, who I am, but the music in me allows, or perhaps facilitates, my love for myself, and my knowledge of how blessed I am- and have been.

And I think of how hard it must be to know that sometimes you find it "hard" to love yourself, but also how revealing, and perhaps powerful, that can be--- because if you know you "need" help to love yourself (and by default others), then you are empowered to seek it--- but I'm not talking about going to the analyst, or shrink, although they can be very helpful as well---

"You've Got a Friend"

When you're down, and troubled,
And you need a helping hand-
And nothing, nothing is going in right--

You just call out my name--
And you know wherever I am,
I'll come running,
To see you again

Winter, spring, summer or fall,
All you got to do is call!!!

I always thought Carole King wrote this song for a long lost lover who would, despite bing dumped, always be there no matter what---

But now I am seeing this song expressing something else, the availability of knowing that, just like on tis camino, My Camino, you are NEVER Alone, you are NEVER LOST--

You just gotta call, out my name ( or that person's name that this represents to you)-- many would just call on, or cry out to, Jesus, Jesus Cristo,---- I guess the important thing is you know you can call on the ONE you need, when you need them, and know WE ARE NEVER ALONE----

Me, I take great comfort in knowing this, and always have. It's my "backstop"---when that "old north wind begins to blow"--- but it's also my foundation, my ROCK--from which the river of my life flows.

So a very ordinary wine, and an extraordinary experience, takes me near O'Cebreiro--- and we arrive well past 8pm, with a car taking us the last 2 kilometers as we have no idea where to go as the waymarks are not "lit", and it's pitch dark!!!! And although I am "never" lost, for the second time on this camino I am very happy someone with a car has shown up and suggested I get in--which I do--

Because I know we all have, and we all need, A FRIEND---and just when you need Him He provides--

From the Top of the mountain, O'Cebreiro

Peace
TT
Peace
TT

Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

Interconnected- from Wednesday

2007-11-16T13:27:00.001-05:00

-Jake - is good-
-Wednesday's message from VillaFranca-
-Interconnected
-Going Postal
-The Spirit Lives On

Written Wednesday before the news on Jake, and finished today--
First things first-- JAKE is WELL!!!!!
He has recovered-- but let's' go where I was and take you through my evolving thoughts--

Starting now-- wednesday night, just after dinner, and I have just received the call from Liz with the description and prognosis about Jake, and spent all day thursday in limbo as I awaited word on Jake's overnight survival---

So I'm a bit behind and will catch up, but there's been a TON of walking, --most of thursday's walk is spent distracted on Jake and the family, and the walk is the longest of the Camino (32 kms, 20 miles, last 4 straight UPHILL for 3000 feet to 7000 feet).

Wednesday on the afternoon walk to Villafranca, before the call on Jake--
The following were my notes before the call on jake-

INTERCONNECTED!!!!!!!
I'm buying the idea that ALL things are interconnected, that there is "ONE" us, and energy is either being taken or received all the time--by all the people--

That a pebble dropped in the Pacific Ocean could make a WAVE in the Atlantic, that just ONE thing could trigger another, really BIG thing somewhere else---

I got to thinking about how people, just by their own actions, make or break other people's day's, week's, lives. I mean, yes, maybe the other person "let's" them have that impact, but every individual has ENORMOUS POWER, the power to touch another human being, in either a very positive powerful way, or not so positive. And each individual has the power to REACT positively (or not).

Like the three people thinking about bagging the Bruce concert, then one to the other and they all decide "they're going", and WHAM--- a great event is had.

Or the person who had one bad thing after another happen to them, so they'll be miserable to the counter person at the Post Office, and the next day that postal worker, or McDonald's counter person, or bank employee, GOES "POSTAL"---

All it takes is for that one thing to "break", one way or the other, and then what seems like trivial details are so interconnected that it becomes a "LIFE" event, somewhere down the chain. Sometime's you just NEVER know how much influence you've had, unless someone tells you (I said that before)-- and sometimes you CAN'T know the influence you had (or are ABOUT to have)---you don't have enough information to appreciate the delicate balance of the world you are interacting with, every day.

If we all would "take a breath", and appreciate that everything we do, everything we say, has some (sometimes really big) impact on the chain of events known as life.

It isn't as if we can all use the excuse "somebody did X" so I'm going POSTAL!!!!-- we are all responsible for our "actions", as well as our "reactions" to the way life deals us cards. But it would be nice if we woke up in the morning and every once in a while we caught a negative "chain of events" in motion and stopped it cold--simply because we had enough fortitude/strength/FAITH/HOPE to not let it consume the next receiver of that chain---

When that happens, it's like divine intervention, and we might not "ever" know the real things we stopped from happening, so we just have to be content with knowing we are so blessed that if on more occasions than not we are a GIVER of ENERGY rather than a TAKER, or RECEIVER, of energy-- than that is our role here on this Earth, to be the "giver", so that the TRUE chain of energy in one's life can unfold and show enormous, glowing light.

The giver's have that "light" to give, so they need to be "ready"!!!!!

The "Spirit Lives On"--- speaking of that "light", and talking about energy, has moved me to one of my favorite songs, which ties into this theme, but also expresses the FAITH I have, that the SPIRIT Lives on!!!

It ties into my thoughts on how everything (EVERYTHING) is interconnected-- I know there are many who think life is LIFE, then you die, and that's the end of one's story--finito!!!!

But it's NOT, because THE SPIRIT LIVE's ON---it lives on in all the impact one has had on this earth, and how different tomorrow will be because YOU were here TODAY--again, you might not ever know, but sometimes it's obvious --
It's obvious if you have kids--sometimes it's 'WICKED' obvious because those kids look just like YOU!!!! As in the case of my buddy B!!! He's gone, but his spirit is alive and well in all of us he touched, but also quite visible in the eyes and features of his two son's (and lesser but stilll visible in his girls too)..

The Spirit Live's On-- "Building 429", a young band from North Carolina, but I saw them in Ocean Grove, NJ---all by myself as my kids were all busy--

"Long after life, long after death, the spirit lives on"--
And today, except for that brief encounter with the Scotts'man, I am all by myself ALL day-- and the path moves from suburbs of Ponferrada to paths-- only note on those suburbs--- it seems everyone here has a dog, but here the dogs bark because they WANT to rip your eyes out-- they're German Sheppard's or Doberman's and they are ready to kill ANY pilgrim that would dare to cross into their yard-- fortunately, the chain holding these dog's is as thick as the car's here, so none of these dog's get loose and has there intended desire with me--my dog's bark, too, but they are barking so you come to them and they can LICK you!!!!--

and right here I got the call from Liz about Jake, and I told her I was just writing about all the dogs I saw today--and I also told her he would be okay, but I truly didn't know that----

So, I guess I have two thoughts on this message for myself--- that our actions/impact are so much more important than we realize AND that IMPACT lasts a long time after we're gone-- forever, in fact!! Because the SPIRIT LIVES ON!!!!!

VillaFranca, Spain
Peace
TT
Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

Jake Update- better

2007-11-16T07:38:00.000-05:00

So the Vet's did ultrasound and Xray's and can't really "see" anything, and it looks like it was some sort of "food" poisoning that set Jake so sick.

That is what we hope-- Jake came home last night, seems himself, and now today will be the real test as Liz feeds him and then we see if his digestive system is back to normal--- if that all works we will be over this extreme scare--- Jake allowing Vet's to stick needles in him was just not Jake-like, so Liz knew he was very sick, but this time there were some big differences ulike the two times Jake ingested corn cob's whole and had to have surgery.

I have much to tell you, about the trip to O'Cebreiro, about the ardous and long trip yesterday, about wine with a hospitaliero, -- a lot, but it will have to wait--got some walking to do----

However, one thing-- saw this amazingly big statue of a pilgrim ("monumento do Peregrino" on the web should get you there) at one of the high points on this morning's walk-- Alto San Roque, about 1,300 meters--

Anyway, I wrote a postcard this morning saying "it's all downhill" from here in O'Cebreiro!!!!!! To be clear, and this I'll share, I have NEVER been more wrong than I was this morning!!!! Up, down, up, down, up down, and now, only 10k into today's walk, it appears that we are nearing the downhill--- but I'll be believe it when I see it!!!!

Peace
Tt
Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

ONLY JAKE!!!!! PLEASE

2007-11-15T17:05:00.000-05:00

Jake

Jake--he's MY dog---- and I went to sleep last night (wednesday)thinking he was either DEAD or alive!!!! You see, Jake had ingested "something" and as usual no one knew what it was but his vital's were ZERO!!!!!! And he was letting Vet's look at him, which is very UNJAKE like, as he prefer's to lick visitor's to the house but BITE (more threaten) vet's!!! It's just HIS way---- bit here I was in Spain hearing from my wife how JAKE wasn't JAKE---- forget Moose--- Moose will lick wood and think he's in Heaven-- JAKE is MY DOG!!!!!!! He is the GUY that set's the tone at home, and here I was in Spain hearing that MY DOG was NOT himself, and that he was DYING!!!!! Or something close!!!? because he wasn't himself and had ingested something that had put him into some radical sickness!!!

I KNOW it's just a DOG!!!!!! But if you had seen all the dogs I did yesterday you'd a thought JAKE was the greatest--- because HE IS!!!!!!!! NO DOG on the planet can match him!!!!!

But here I am four weeks away, and my poor wife has to deal with JAKE dying!!!! THE DOG she gave me after 9/11!!!!!! C'mon, Life can't be this unfair!!!(Of course this is nothing of the burdens I am aware of, but still) !!!!!
I know I'm coming home to see my wife after 5/6 weeks, and, as an aside, I am coming home to see MY DOG!!!!!! MOOSE is GREAT--- BUT there is ONLY ONE JAKE!!!!!!

So, I have let my "angels" loose, to help Jake recover----

It will rain on me!!! Which it did today!!!
How bout that-- it RAINED!!!!

But JAKE will be home for my return!!!

Weird or not, this is what's happening on MY Camino today!!!! And Jake Is sick, but he will be home for my return/reunion with him---

I could say much more about Jake, MY DOG, but all I ask is he is there when I return---

And I ask that anyone that has a friend this GOOD gets to keep him/her forever!

I have good friends, but better friends than JAKE are just hard to imagine!!!!!!!

It"s all I can say--- today was the hardest day on MY Camino--- tears, pain, even tears now that I know HE (jake) is better(and alive at the vet as they start their day), but the walk today was a trial!!!!! A trial I welcome if Jake get's better!!!!

I have incredible friends, but ANYONE challenging JAKE has an UPHILL equall to my climb today to O'Cebreio!!!!! You don't want this climb!!!!!!! Trust me!!!!!!

Jake. Come on home!!!!!

Friends, welcome him back home, please!!!! I trust and pray this was meant for my Camino, and Jake's!!!! And (unfortunately, Liz's too)

Peace
TT

Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

Smiling, "Tightening Up" groove, and the "power" of prayer

2007-11-14T07:20:00.001-05:00

Smiling

Not dialing, just smiling and walking--

I arrived in Ponferrada, home of the 'Castle of the Templars', an 800 year old Castle that is one of the highlights of the trip-- and my calf muscles were killing me from the mountains ups/downs of the day before, but started my walk out of the city when I ran into 2 Spanish Pilgrims who suggested/insisted I see the Museo "Yo Camino", which was not in my book. Well, I "almost" missed it--again, but on this Camino things just SEEM to happen--i mean, you're never lost, you're always "on your way", there is "no rush" and there is NO SCORECARD--everyone has their OWN CAMINO-not someone else's. So, I went into the Museo, and I saw 500 - 1000 year old artifacts of the Pilgrim's walk, and where it has taken some (the numerous Pope's, St Francis of Asissi, 500 year old bible's!!!) - statues/carvings/paintings of St James (Santiago in Spanish!!!), Jesus, the Virgin Mary, and it was quite a presentation I "almost" missed. But someone made sure I didn't. I spent about an hour being a "tourist", a first for this Camino (I toured the Castle too!!! Cool enough for a castle). Anyway, the finish of the "Yo Camino" presentation is this very, very long walk through a temporary structure that is a virtual map of the Camino de Santiago itself, and it reiminded me of all the places I've been and of those where I am going---and it made me melancholy!!! I REALLY am close to finishing this Camino, my Camino, and that thought has rarely crossed my mind. I miss my family, and I have thought about how great it will be to be back home again, but right now I am also thinking about being "close" to the finish, and that both a GREAT and also a ???? Not sure of the word??? I WILL MISS THIS, when it ends.
I mean, this has been incredible, so how do you package it up and take it home with you?

I want to continue my experience, and let it take me where it does, as fast (or as slow) as it does, as it is MY CAMINO, so it will be finsihed when I know in my heart I have reached the end. I can't even think of it, but I know it's a lot closer than it was-- I think some people stay overnight a few nights in ONE town to "prolong" their experience-- Me, I stayed overnight in Leon because I was sick, and I stayed in Pronferrada (short distance from Molineseca) because my calves where burning, but also because it just happened that way-- if I hadn't run into those Spanaird's I would have missed the "Yo Camino" and then kept walking.

As it is, I am up the next day cheery-eyed, well rested legs, and SMILING-- it's Wednesday, I am forgetting how tired I was monday night and how pained/strained my calves were yesterday. It's a new day, and I am EXCITED to be walking after the tourist experience yesterday (which was both secular and somewhat SACRED all in one)-- I'm so excited, and I am in a relatively crowded city on my way out, I decide it's appropriate to block out the NOISE of the cars--

So I put my IPOD to work-- I want to "make it mellow", so I select a band from Houston, Texas, that knows how to "make it mellow", and Archie Bell & the Drells "Tighten Up" is on the IPOD--and I am almost bopping down the street (at times I hop, right when the music kicks it) and people are looking at this pilgrim "bopping", almost dancing, with this 30 pound backpack on his back, and one damn-ugly hat!!!!! But I've got my rythym, and I've got this HUGE, HUGE SMILE I am greeting people with-- and it's having it's intended effect-- They ARE smiling back--"buenos", "ola", "buen camino" are some of what I heard back (took one ear out when I approached people)-- and I stopped in a gas station and the two people in there we're all "lift-me-up" positive too!!!!! "Tighten Up" is on my RnB to GO playlist, so "Ain't No Stoppin Us Now" comes on randomly NEXT, and that gets me even MORE BOPPING!!!
And I remember that song being the theme song of the 1984 championship run for the Hoyas, and I remember being in Seattle, Washington with G'Twon down like 12 points to Kentucky at halftime, and I remember Ronny B and me saying to each other --It's OVER-- KENTUCKY doesn't have a PRAYER because their AIN't NO STOPPIN US!!!!!!and we were LOSING by 12!!!!! Smiling ALL THE WHILE!!!!

I remember SMILING !!!!!! I remember one time I was smiling so much it took all the moisture out of my mouth-- I was standing at the Altar waiting for my bride-to-be to walk down the aisle, and she was just taking her first steps toward me, and I was brim-to-brim smiling and happy-- and all I had we're two words the whole ceremony but by the time they got to me and I had to say them I had virtually no moisture in my body, let alone my mouth, so people we're wondering if I had responded-- but my now wife saw me mouth "I do", so that was good enough for Fr Joe, who had seen enough freezing on Altar's to know I was frozen, but in a "good" way because I was smiling the whole time.

So I'm walking and smiling today, and you know I can't even mention the WEATHER--okay, it's cold, cold enough to start out in hat and gloves and wearing almost everything in my sack, but you know I DO NOT have water-proof shoes because all the shoe's I tried just killed my feet--today I'm wearing my Teva sandals to give my sneakers a break-- so I am NOT prepared for a very WET walk---and since that day I sang "Sunshine on my Shoulder" that is where the Sun has been--warm or cold--it's been sunny on my shoulders, and all these pilgrims, like the Scottsman who just left the cafe/bar I am typing these words from (this is his 12th Camino!!!), well all these experienced Pilgrim's are telling me they've NEVER, EVER seen Spain so dry-- (again, My Fair Lady, "the rain in Spain falls mainly on the Plain"-- we'll I've been on the plain for 200 miles without a DROP!!!) yes, I am knocking on wood as I write this, but I also tell them it's "My Angels"-- it's My Camino, and I "NEEDED" it to be dry, and I NEEDED to TIGHTEN UP, and have a "GROOVE", for today---and I just felt like smiling, concentrating on that like I have been when I'm praying for someone, and the smiling works, so now I think I'll pray all those prayer's do "Something, Anything" (that's a Todd Rundgren album, by the way) to effect the needs those prayers are being prayed for. The sick, the needy, the already decease people I am remembering,, the those still very much alive, the friends, the family of those friends, MY FAMILY (the immediate and the larger, greater one)---so this afternoon I'm thinking I'll pray for those prayers, my prayers, to help--all the places I've scattered them--to help ease pain, burden, suffering just a little. I mean, I am "getting what I need here, so I'm praying those others "get what they need" too.

And that LEADS me to Walter Ciszek S.J. - American Jesuit who wrote "He Leadeth Me", about his 20+ years in captivity in Russia--
Okay, how did he get to Russia? Well, first he VOLUNTEERED!!!!! in the 1930's to go there when the Pope asked for volunteers to go behind the Iron Curtain as missionaries to convert people to the teachings of Jesus---he volunteered, and went to Poland, then he got a fake ID and went across the border to the Soviet Union--b/c of course PRIEST's weren't invited!!- and started saying Mass as quietly as an unknown priest can--but eventually he was caught and incarcerated, many years in solitary, and then Siberia if I recall correctly. Anyway, he was released after 20-25 years and came back to a place (home in the US) he didn't recognize in the early 1960's. But he was once again free--FREE-- well, he wrote the words below, which I noted when I read his book this past February (it was in one of my updates!!!)--

And Father Ciszek said:

"The power of prayer reaches beyond all efforts of man seeking to find meaning in his life. This power is available to all; it can transform man's weaknesses, limitations and his sufferings"--

I figure he should know, because he certainly suffered through incredible times and prayer helped him through it---and I am praying for any small transformation's that might take place through my prayers, including those that I might need myself.

Half the day over, ready to re-commence my walk, thinking I've already had a great, great day, and wishing anyone reading this and "starting" their day has a

And now on the cafe's radio station it's Bruce and "Sad Eyes"--- no "tighten up", but if I see any 'sad eyes' this afternoon on my afternoon walk I'll turn em with just a SMILE--
Because they're "ain't no stoppin" me now----

Peace, near VillaFranca del Bierzo, Spain

Have a GREAT DAY SMILING-
Peace
TT

Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

Veteran's Day ramblings

2007-11-12T16:07:00.001-05:00

VDay
Edwin Starr
Vet's and non-vet's
My V Day celebrated in Spain-

Veterans Day-today in the States--
An incredibly long walk to get to home for today--- I arrived after dark----

I know where I'd be and who I'd be with today if I wasn't here in Spain walking the Camino. I'd be going to Bruce in Washington, DC--on Veteran's Day.

Veteran's Day--

I remember May, 1999 standing next to a guy in Birmingham, England- next to a stage. And then all of a sudden this guy takes the stage, and with all the gusto Edwin Starr sings "WAR, what is it good for? Absolutely Nothing!!!".

Occasionally I get the "you're an American? What do you think of your President?"lines from some pilgrims.
Politics--- it's just been non-existent on the Camino--quite refreshing, no CNN, no Fox news, no 57 channels and nothing on!!!! And then a Pilgrim spoils my tranquility with a question (very rare, but twice this week).

But Veteran's Day reminded me of my time standing next to Edwin Starr-- because the guy who facilitated all that back in 1999 was a VET.

And I'm on the TommyT FREEDOM Tour---People, namely Veteran's, paid a price for the American Freedom we all are so priviledged to enjoy.

So on my walk today I thought of Veteran's I knew, and also thought of people I was glad weren't Veteran's.
I'll explain. I remember 1968, and my brother was graduating high school, and he was going to get drafted, or go to college. I was too young for the details, but my brother went to college. I was glad he wasn't a Veteran. My other brother is a Vet, although, fortunately, he never saw a war. But he could have, and so could everyone else who ever volunteered to serve in our armed forces. My father didn't pass the physical for WWII, so he wasn't a Vet. My father-in-law, who I never met as he passed away before I met Liz, was a Vet of WWII and flew B-52's and did bombing runs over Germany.

Anyway, so I thought of all this, and I thought of the friend in grade school whose brother went to Vietnam, and he was killed there. I remember the somber tones in the grade school when we found out, but I really think most American's take their freedom, and the price of it, for granted.

I was at the peak height of the Camino (about 5000 feet), the Cruz de Ferro/Puerto Irago and there were all kinds of memorials laid at the foot of this Cross. I decided I would have my own Veteran's Day service and made a cross of wood and laid it at the foot of the Cruz de Ferro, and said a prayer of thanks for our freedom, and for all those who fought/are fighting in it's name.

Politics. The only thing I'd like to say about the current war in Iraq is this; Iraq is another event which shows Edwin Starr is right. But sometimes there is no Churchill, no real world statesman that can come in and save the day---War or no war-- and wars erupt and people endlessly debate the merits on TV. And politicians check polls before making comments--etc etc etc.

I went to Pearl Harbor last Dec 7th, the 65th anniversary. I saw very old men and their Naval Cap's commemorating their "survival" and what ship they were on. I saw Tom Brokaw talk of these individuals who made up "The Greatest Generation". I see Eastern Europe thriving after a 50 year "economic war", and freedom overflowing.

I sometimes wonder what causes today's American's are willing to FIGHT for? (The American's not in uniform). And I wonder if the Greatest Generation had our current "stomach's to fight", instead of "theirs", would D-Day have been a DEBATE instead of a BATTLE? I mean, Normandy is "over there"!!!

We've been spoiled with freedom, and general peace in our land, and I pray we continue to receive that blessing.

But the world is getting smaller, and hatred, discrimination, and lack of freedom will be very visibile wherever it exists going forward.

Pope Paul VI wrote an amazing encyclical on the dignity of man and basic human rights- Dignitatus Humanae - actually released on 12/7/65. This document, now 40+ years old, tells of the church's belief for all people to have the right to religious freedom (any religion, by the way, not just the Catholic religion), and for governments to protect that right. It is a natural right of man.

I don't find war an easy topic, as trying to establish the more right or more wrong decision is always easier in hindsight. WWII was "right", Vietnam was "wrong", Iraq is???--- all I know is there are people in harms way, and there are too many people not in harms way with opinions. I remember the picture of the old woman with the blue ink mark on her finger in Bagdad after casting her vote. She knows something about freedom that I think a lot of people in America might have forgotten.

I am thankful that America truly allows one to enjoy this freedom.
I recognize, way over here in Spain, that Veteran's all across the land have made that possible.

Peace
TT
Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

PIX: in the middle of the mountains

2007-11-12T08:25:00.000-05:00

Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

The WATER, The Priest, the Rabbi, and the Children of the World

2007-11-10T12:39:00.001-05:00

A beautiful day!!!! AGAIN!!!!!

I'm in Astorga, and the sun is just starting to go down on what has been a great day weather and walking wise.

Where to start?

Over 1,000,000,000 footsteps!!!!!

Kenneth, the danish man who I haven't seen in a while (he's ahead), told me he thought about the 500 miles and seeing he was a math teacher and all he did some work.

It will be over 1,000,000,000 (that's ONE MILLION) footsteps before I arrive in Santiago.

Cool fact, I thought.

Just like 86,400 seconds in a day, or 525,600 minutes in a year.

Where are your next 1MM footsteps taking you????

Me, I'm going to Santiago, then I'm going to "THE WATER"!!!!.
Finisterre, the former end of the world until 1492 when Columbus sailed the ocean blue and didn't fall off the edge of the earth.

But, before the water we have the MOUNTAINS-- I know it's meters this time, and the climb over the next few days will take us up to 5000 feet, the highest point on the Camino-- and of course we get to go down and then back up again a few days later as we head into the more challenging part of the walk for terrain and weather. It is clear the rest I took in Leon served my legs and feet well. I will need it for the up and downs ahead.

I am back on the trail after 2 nights in Leon with whatever sickness I had, I am feeling much better and walked yesterday (friday) and now today I am back in a groove as I've left the city, and it's noise and suburbia around it, behind. The path is peaceful and tranquil, allowing me time to think and reflect.

To the Water--- it's a chapter in Isaiah-- Chapter 55-- about how God invites all those who are thirsty, or in need, to "come to the water".
It's Old Testament, but I thought of it today as I thought about going to the water.

I love the water--- I love the ocean, either in it or sitting on the beach next to it; I love hot showers, or cold ones in the summer heat---and here I am going back to the water. A million plus footsteps later, but I'm getting there. Astorga is ahead of me, and so are all my new friends I will make. I had dinner last night with a Spanish family, the four of us the only ones at the albergue.

Just stopped in Hospital de Orbigo--go on the web and check out this "bridge"--it has a connection and may have been the inspiration behind
Don Quixote--met a family of New Zealanders into the cafe-- 2 boys 18 or so and mom and dad--looking all healthy and all--and they started 5 days behind me--man am I slow!!!

So old friends ahead, but new friends to make, and new stories, to hear.

I got a nice email from Simona ahead, telling me everyone was missing me and when would I catch up--- the community of pilgrims becomes a family quite easily. I have to figure out how top catch them, Alain and Monique, Simona and Giovanni, Kelty--they are all a day ahead now.

Old Testament-- that reminds me to tell you that some of the best, clearest, and beautiful sermons I have ever heard came from a ??? RABBI. Rabbi Joe was a good friend and Rabbi to a good friend of mine-- and that Isaiah passage made me think of my favorite priest, but it also made me think of Rabbi Joe. I remember his speaking, and the way he would tailor his talk (almost for me) to make sure all who were witnessing the Bar/Bat Mitzvah/memorial service were following, understanding the significance of the ceremony and the meaning of it all. I found his ability to connect with everyone, young, old, cool/hip and all to be quite unique and beautiful. I mean, it's a gift--to be able to communicate and connect people, and to give a message of love and tradition and sacredness, all in one. Few have that gift. Fortunately for me, I know a few of those few.

Anyway, that got me to thinking about my children today, each of them as individuals and what wonderful kids they are and have been in my/our (liz/me) life. I had a lot of fun growing up, but I've said it before and I'll say it again, watching your kids have joy is so much greater than your own joy (and also pain is so much tougher). I've enjoyed, and experienced the heights of that joy as my children have grown, and I am hoping/guessing it only gets better!!!
We watched Liz's nephew get married, and now we are watching with anxious amazement as this kid I met when he was like 6 or 8 or something, now we're watching as he and his wife have a BABY soon!!! HOLY COW!!!! I suspect his parents can't contain their own amazement.

It's a gift, that's for sure. It is so true how each person is so individual and different from the next, even if their genes match. I've got three kids, and I love each of them for their "individualness". The girls, well there just plain different people. And the boy, Matt--- he can't be compared because he's a boy-- but they all grew up in the same house with the same parents (and are still growing up, I might add, as is their Dad!!!).

Rabbi Joe, Fr Kev, the Jesuits at G'Town, they all are so talented, in my opinion, to put these feelings into words that allow one to trancend the place we are at, and appreciate it from above. The God-liness of it all.
The miracle of having children, or the incredible giving of oneself to adopt children (a child), has a gift of giving that never stops. And as many have said, there are two sides to the story-- but the gift in itself only has one side, and that side is unique and special(a blessing).

So today's walk had me thinking about my own life, but really thinking about how much I am enjoying the lives of our children.

I am praying for their safe watch, and for same for our family and friends' children as well.

I remember Amy Grant, at Radio City Music Hall, in 1994. Her 'then' husband, Gary Chapman, opened for her (we didn't know who he was, but I found out). Well, he closed his set with an amazing song titled "Sweet Jesus", about a River, an old man (80), and a young mother and her baby boy-- and a flood where the mother and child are caught in the water and the old man, fishing, comes to rescue them, but the mother knows he can only save one, so she gives him the child-- and then he swims to shore, puts the boy safe, and dies--

The WATER still has me!!!
)--and it has been one of my favorite songs ever since.
And the mother, then the old man
Sing
"Sweet Jesus, please won't you hear us, save us"

"Then he was swimming, like he was 20, he made shoreline, then he died"

"Sweet Jesus, please you catch us, save us"

Then it's the boy, now a man, singing

I miss them,
They are the soul inside the man I am,
I bear their dreams

I am walking in their footsteps
I am talking to their God
Sweet Jesus, catch us, save us, hear us"

Well, I hope you get the gist and also hope you can find it should you be moved to-- I can email it should you really want to hear it when I return-

The WATER is covered-- now it's the child(children).

Amy Grant comes onstage, and she is beautiful in sound and the message she has for this crowd. We are in the 8th row center(liz, me, Camy, a friend and her mom), on the aisle so right in the middle enjoying a great show. What amazed me was the number of teenagers who knew every word, every song, and their enthusiasm (Camy was 8yrs old).

So Amy Grant starts singing "For the Children of the World"

"For the children of the world
Every single boy and girl
Heaven plants a special seed,
And we must have faith for these"

"And give them the light of LOVE to lead"

And in the middle of the song she seems to "invite" the children to the stage, but no one is going, so I tell Camy to go ahead up there-- and for about two minutes, maybe three, Camy Thees and Amy Grant are dancing on the stage together as she is singing this song, and then about 100 other kids join in.

I've got more stories where that one came from, but suffice it to say that was one of many moments (Allie and Matt moments too, of course, or I'll be accused of playing favorites!!) where I had more fun and joy being DAD versus being me!!!!!

For those of us who are parents, it's a simple message--

Provide them (our children, God's children) the light of LOVE, to lead-- the rest will take care of itself.

from Astorga, Spain, some (math facts again) 330 miles into the Camino, with about 170 to go--

Peace
TT

Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

Open Letter to Liz

2007-11-08T05:10:00.001-05:00

1) Note to wife
2) Wall Street
3) Dehydration

Dearest Liz:

Arrived in Leon, Spain and it is a beautiful, lively and sophisticated CITY--you and I would enjoy it here.

The cathedral is especially beautiful at night when the entire town's population, who all but disappear from 2pm-5pm, come out to stroll and enjoy some fresh air. They do that for about 5 hours because it seems that no city restaurant has any customers, and therefore why open, before 9:30pm!!!

Anyway, the reason I'm writing is because I was made aware, through the internet cafe I visited and various wall street concerned friends, that THE ENTIRE FINANCIAL WORLD is coming to an END. I know you have heard this before from me, starting in 1987, then 1991, then 1995, 1998, and boy did you hear it in 2002, but I thought I would just make a kind request to you, since I'm kinda on a LEAN budget here, if you wouldn't mind kinda keeping a LOW budget there for a while. You know, like were a TEAM.

While my love for you has grown stronger, just as the "absence makes the heart grow fonder" saying says, I know this request seems a bit trite. Know, deep down, I continue to have that desire to keep you in the style you've become accustomed.
However, seeing as this walk does NOT generate any meaningful financial return (none, in fact), and as I'm all unemployed and such, I thought you wouldn't mind taking it down a few NOTCHES, just till things settle down.

Yours truly, as "always and forever", for better or worse (right?),

Love
TT

So, how you think that's going to go over??????

I thought I would just check in with the real world seeing as I have a cold (from the frenchman Alain, for sure!!!) And feel ill for the first time since I arrived. I wanted to see how my Wall Street brethren were doing, hoping they were well and settled down from that BofA news and such.

So, given some friendly encouragement, and the news that the JETS were 6-2 from DavidC I figured I'd check in on my working world--

A few ticker checks---let's see--

Google-- $7 hundred something-- wow, that's great

Apple- $185+ -unbelievable--must be pretty good there on Wall Street as Apple keeps chugging!!!

GFIG-- one of my financial favorites!!
$90 something!! Up 10+% since I left-

Wow, this is GREAT.!!!!

Citi- $34.50??
Bear- $97!!!!
MS (dear mother morgan!!) $52!!!!??????

And EVERYBODY and THEIR MOTHER has lost like $5 BILLION!!!! And there still counting at some places--like the places where the CEO job is now "available"!!!!

HEY, I'm WALKIN' OVA HEEEERRRE!!!!! (With the north Jersey Soprano accent, please).

I don't think you got that right (unless you grew up in North Jersey, so let's try again---)

"AAAAY, PEOPLES!!!!! I'M WALKIN' OVA H'EEEERRRE". !!!!!!

There, that's better---

Oh, and one more thing-- The JETS AREN'T 6-2!!!!!!! Are they!!!! They'll be playing golf with the Mets soon enough!!!

It's like that sound of a record playing on the sound system and then the guy SCRATCHES the record needle across the album-----ooooppppsss!!!!

When I left for Spain MS was at $66!!!!! not to mention the rest of the financials.

So the financials have taken the proverbial bath----

How great is it to be away from all this---?????

Well, it's not like I PLANNED it---remember, I was CALLED--if I had PLANNED it I probably would have found a job running a sub-prime mortgage unit --IN AUGUST!!!!!

I take no joy in OPP (other people's pain), or my own.

It is what it is, and another of the things I have learned (as I'm sure many of you have too, but sometimes we forget), you control what you can control and let the rest take care of itself. Have a little faith!!!! In yourself, to get through it, and in God to help should you need it (I'm pretty sure we all do!!).

Oh, and one more thing-- as the note to my wife ascribes to--KEEP YOUR SENSE of HUMOR!!!!! Laugh EVERY DAY---if you're not LAUGHING, you're NOT LIVING--

So, I really promise not to update myself and pollute my mind with thoughts like the JETS are 6-2!!! Or any of this stock and bond stuff for a few more weeks.

I've got to recover from this current fatigue of a cold/whatever I have, and I hope it doesn't slow me down too much--but I might need to stay an extra day and try and kick it--we'll see.

For all of us, when it's tough out there, which it many times is,

You have to keep "Pressing On"(dylan)

And I like the version done by the Chicago Mass Choir

-----

Morning update from Leon--
-----
I wrote the above late last night as I was having trouble falling asleep.

Well, as it turns out, my cold was compounded by EXTREME DEHYDRATION--- my body forgot I was taking it easy yesterday and decided to absord all the fluids it could given I've been walking 6-7 hours a day for over three weeks.
Well, I think I mentioned I haven't see any gatorade here, right?

Well, at 3am the cold became the shivers and, as I was in a hostel for the night with my own room since I wasn't feeling well, I actually got my sleeping bag out and used that to try and get warm. And I drank water, which as I recall I didn't have much of yesterday.

It's now 11am and I am feeling better, have eaten, and will find a GALLON of gatorade. And I'm gonna have to stay in Leon another night (didn't eat last night given how I was feeling).

So the scary night has passed, as I prayed it would. The only things I've had for 3 weeks are water, red wine, and cafe (okay, an occasional coke).
Yesterday I didn't have much of anything, and things just got worse all night peaking with that 3am shivers (and this room was heated!!).

Okay, so I'm hopeful to regain my strength today and be back on the path tomorrow, but am going to the medical unit now just to check in.

And I am thankful that there will be a great need for my services on Wall Street when I return, but I think enough is ENOUGH!!!!.

Peace,
And I mean peaceful, tranquil, and boring markets for a few weeks to,
TT

Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

From the halftime locker room talk with 'myself'

2007-11-06T16:44:00.001-05:00

Somewhere on the path, this funny thought started hitting me---

let me digress--
As my feet, in fact every bone within each foot, including bones I didn't know I had!!!, well these bones we're SCREAMING as I stepped one foot to the other, on gravel, embedded rock, rockbed, loose gravel, pebbles, etc, you get the picture--the Calzada Romana, as it is infamously called.
Did it, just like the Romans!!!

This is a walk, but for warmup's I walked the boardwalk and the beach, specifically Long Branch or from Manasquan to Belmar and back. You KNOW, Jersey walks. The difference here is there is NO boardwalk path, and there is no soft, beach sand.

So, back to my thought--
Somewhere in the middle of nowhere, beyond halfway, all alone with one pilgrim in sight (so about 1 mile away) I started to ask myself where in the hell did I get this CRAZY idea anyway.

I'm thinking about who I've met, and I'm noticing not ONE American who is doing the whole trip (I've met three, the Arizona woman who walked for 5 days, and the California couple who now live in Spain and were walking for a few days for "fun").

WHAT am I doing walking 500 miles, staying in shared bedrooms and taking showers with water that auto-shut offs, and sleeping in buildings with NO heat. Oh yeah, with TOTAL stranger, most of whom can't understand me and visa versa!!!!! I've spent the equivalent of one night's hotel room cost for this trip in total, and it's been THREE WEEKS.!!!!! THIS WAS and IS an ABSOLUTELY WILD and CRAZY thing. WHAT am I doing HERE?????

I take some time to ponder this thought as negative undertones are starting to surface.

I'm thinking--- WHAT AM I trying to prove? There is no medal at the end of this trip like when I finished the NYC Marathon (or Boston, San Diego Rock'n'Roll etc).

Where am I taking this "accomplishment"? Which most people on the planet (including me until 3 months ago) haven't ever heard of!!!! There is no GATORADE in Spain as far as I can tell!!!!! Nobody sponsoring me for even a cup of cafe con leche!!! Where's the GLORY in this walk?????????

So all this gets me thinking!!! Lots of thinking--- and I'm pleased to have the challenge (it's kinda like that angel/devil in the ear thing again), as there is nothing, NOTHING at all to stop me from pulling up to the 5 star hotel, pulling out "the credit card that shall not be named", and book myself the first class flight home I deserve.

I can choose that path, or stay on this one.

WE ALL CAN---choose our path--- every day!!!!!!

Well, this thinking has reminded me to continue to evolve the WHY I AM HERE, both on the Camino and in life.

I am on this Camino because it CALLED ME--- the whole thing just spoke to me as a "TOM, YOU NEED TO GO DO THIS--NOW!!!! And I listened.

The "why" I need to do this is less clear, but becoming clearer day by day.

Frankly, I don't think I will be going home the same person that I was arriving. I mean, I'll be lighter!!!! And smaller!!!! For starters!!!

But well beyond that, I feel different. Like nothing, NOTHING could STOP me from finishing this CAMINO---and I am MORE PREPARED to end my sabbatical and pursue the path that opens up.

And I've still got MILES to go!!!!!

But I'm feeling that I'm in the right place and this is the right time (and my wife gave me permission, so THERE) and THIS is still feeling like the perfect event I was meant to do to explore where I've been and to prepare me for WHERE I am going--in all respects.

So, no new flight bookings for me---

Okay, so that "prayer" the Jesus (pronounced 'hey-sus') the priest handed me and Simona--- I had that translated so I could understand it as I knew there would be something in there for me given JESUS gave it to me ( not to be confused with the SON of GOD, but one can't be too sure, and as Tom S says, why not?!!!!)--- so this prayer is a historic prayer and goes through all the reasons why one is NOT here (like NOT FOR the landscape, Cathedrals, not the Rioja wine, palaces or castles and more,)

Well, THE PRAYER said it was unexplainable WHY I was called here, it was just a HIGHER calling---

And that makes me feel really good that I wrote most of the above before I "knew" what the prayer said, and now that I do know, I AGREE---

It is not for words why the heck I'm here--- if I were a rational, "calculating in all aspects" man I'd be touting Bertrand Russell mumbo jumbo at you-- but that's not where I am--- I'm a Mother Theresa fan--- a U2 "believe in what has to be believed to be seen" man---I KNOW I'm gonna see a place that "has to be believed to be seen" because I BELIEVE IT!!!!!

I'm in the middle of MY Camino, and I've got a prayer from a "supposed" man named 'Jesus' that says "why I am here is simply because of a "higher calling"-

You know what? That's good enough for me--- might not be for Mr Bertrand Russell, but for me and Mother Theresa it sits just, just fine.

"No se explicara ni yo
Solo el de arriba lo sabo"

Why'd you do the Camino, Tom? You know, where do you go in the states to sign up for a month long-plus 500+ mile walk where you get to sleep in cold rooms with unknown piglrims-- tell me where I sign up for THAT??? PLEASE??

Simply, for me, BECAUSE IT called me, from above and beyond---

And so far, from below (my feet) and above, all is well!!!!!

With renewed vigor and spirit from just before the biggest city on this walk, Leon, Spain---

Peace
TT
Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

The picture is getting clearer

2007-11-06T09:04:00.001-05:00

Started the walk on caldaza Romana, a 1000 year old path---

Nothing but the path for 24 kilomters (about 15 miles) EXCEPT one road that crosses it 5kms into todays walk.

So we stopped at that crossroad about 5k into today's walk, and out from the horizon comes a man on a bike. "Are you pilgrims", he asks. We say yes (simona (Italy) and I started out together today. "Si, Soy perigrono!!" I say.

Anyway, the man on the bike goes on to explain our options at this crossroad because if we go straight and take the Caldaza Romana there is nothing, nada, but dirt and rocks for the next 13 miles, or we could go the alternate route.

He then explains, as a car goes by, that he's a priest, and he's going from one parish to the next one to say mass (via bicycle, mind you).

He then pulls out of his pocket some pamphlets, writes on the back of one and gives it so Simona, who is doing most of the talking with him. I'm listening.

Then he's off on his bike, disappearing up the horizon, and Simona says he gave us a prayer for the Camino.

And he signed his name on the back for us, too.

His writing said, as translated,

"good camino"

His name?

"Jesus"

Now I know it is not uncommon for people in Spain to be named Jesus.

And I'm sure some of them become priests. And I'm sure some of those priests ride bicycles from one parish to another all the time.

But I can't quite explain how, when I am walking on a remote 1000 year old Roman trail, and at the instant I come in contact with the only civilization (a road) I'm going to all day, at that instant this man shows up and stops and talks and hands us a prayer pamphlet and all, and his name is Jesus.ON a BIKE!!!!!

You getting this picture??? And this

Is the day after "What If" comes on the radio, right?

Okay, back to my walk, you go back to election day (I was informed) and celebrate the fact that all those TV political ad's I haven't seen should be ending, for a week at least.

From near the end of the Caldaza Romana trail for today,

Peace

TT

Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

WHAT IF?

2007-11-05T14:31:00.001-05:00

Wow- I mean WOW weather!!!! Either my prayers or your's, but EVER since I sang "Sunshine on my shoulders" with Thierry and Annapia, that morning when it was grey and lightly raining, the sky had been blue, the stars have been out, and the new fleece has been dumped for another pilgrim as it was just too heavy to carry with so much sunshine!!!!

So, my Camino experience continues to evolve, and it is truly taking me to places I haven't been both physically and spiritually.

So, I am in the supermercado (supermarket, about the size of one half of an aisle in the states) and I'm picking up a few things (FOOD!!!!, and chocolate!!!) And, I'm waiting at the register as the person who works the register does everything else too!!!! Like cut the meat (jamon!!!, of course). And, me being as sonically sensitive, I hear a song come over the sound system (radio)---

"What If God were one of us?" By joan osbourne.

I'm standing at the register, but now I have to look around in this store---I mean, C'Mon!!!!!! You telling me it's just coincidental, right--- I mean, that song comes on all the time, right? RIGHT!!!!! -- NOT- maybe 10 years ago, but I do not remember the last time I heard it-- and here it is playing in the supermercado, where I just happen to be, IN SPAIN!!!!--- going back to my "you have to be aware to see the signs"--- so I am highly confident, and I have NO FEAR in saying, that this song was for ME-- and I'm thinking that God IS one of us, and maybe I will meet HIM on this Camino--

And I'm remembering one of the Brazilians, and what he talked about and how he looked, and it's all starting to run through my mind about how I thought he looked "familiar"---And I'm also remembering a pack of pilgrims I ran into two days ago, a bit more stragglingly then the average I'd seen, and I'm thinking about how judgemental that word "stragglingly" is!!

What If?????

So now I'm thinking God is my DJ!!!

A litte freaky, so I'm keeping my eye, and my heart, open to His arrival should He care to visit-- or maybe I've already met Him along the way--i am open to wherever this Camino takes me, and I am READY to meet whoever I run into. Perhaps I'll just let the tunes continue to flow and see what comes.

Tonight, I'm exhausted--two 18 mile days in a row, and another one tomorrow in the push to reach Leon in 2 days. On the Camino you just don't pick where you want to stay and say "I'll go 10 miles and stop"--you have to do a little planning, especially this time of year as numerous albergue's are closed--so a little planning, and always ready for the lack of heat and a warm sleeping bag getting you through the night.

We are in a town where the one bar is closed today, so the 6 pilgrims here (2 ireland, Lee from Korea, Daniel from Spain, me, and Simona from Italy) have this small place to ourselves and we are pooling our food and stuff to make the meal sufficient for the night. The walk is peaceful and comfortable all in one. Two days ago we had 30 pilgrims at the albergue, tonight 6-- and I hadn't seen anyone all day.

Even still, it seems I NEVER feel lost, or lonely during my walk. I DO feel tired-- so, good night.

Peace
Tt

Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

PIX:Close to home- for the night, anyway--my feet refused to be included in this picture and have decided to boycott my next adventure!!!!

2007-11-05T11:53:00.000-05:00

Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

QUOTE- "But I know, somehow, that only when it is DARK enough, can you see the stars"

2007-11-03T13:57:00.001-04:00

Who said that? Answer at the end so don't go googling!!!

I always say good traders remember every trade!!!!
So, professionally, I remember where everything was in the markets in June '85 (Dollar on the MOON), July 1986, Ocotber 1987, 2/1/94, and 2/2/94 (fed raised rates that day) --- I remember fed funds at 22 1/2% (1982) and I remember them at 1% !!!!!

And, it seems on this walk my memory is serving me well on my personal side as well. How's this for a sentence--ready-- I do not remember the last time I remembered the story about my Mom and the Acme candy story, but somehow it popped into my head yesterday!!!!!!

I guess one of my lessons for myself on this walk is it's good to take time to remember, and it's good not to forget, where you came from. Somehow, I'm not sure exactly how, but somehow it helps you GET where you're going!!!!!!

Me, I know I'm going to Santiago, I think I'm going to Finisterre, and I hope (my wife REALY hopes) I'm going back to work!!!!!!

I guess that leads me to where we are ultimately going-- not Santiago, not work, but that ashes to ashes thing. That ultimate --Heaven, afterlife, wherever you may be headed---

I've been circling this subject, and now this morning my mind is on it for some reason. Memory and memories of where I came from brought me back to times with my father..

I was thinking yesterday about those people that impact you-- about how it is to be sitting at a funeral and talking with people about him/her, the one in the coffin, or "for whom the bell tolls". And I thought about how dumb it is to be sitting in the pew/seat at a memorial service and talking to God-- "God, if you get a chance, tell XYZ how great they were to me and thank them for being such a great influence"--
It's just so much better to let them know when they're still here---but sometimes death just shows up without notice and BOOM-- or POOF, and a bright light in your life goes out (not yours if your reading this, thankfully).

Well I got to thinking about how I'm all happy and on sabbatical and how blessed I've always been---i mean, seriously, am I not the LUCKIEST guy on the planet?? Where's my "pain"-- have I really, REALLY, EVER, had any. Most of what others might have considered tough circumstances were to me natural, so I didn't have one's appreciation for "tough".

What about disappointment, failure, mistakes, errors, sins, etc-- I mean, c'mon, no one's life is perfect, and I've had enough failures/setbacks/disappointment (you think I was HAPPY with GTown's rejections of my dreams???)---.

WHAT ABOUT LOSING, TOM???
One thing I learned when I was part of all that winning when I was young was HOW TO LOSE!!!!! With dignity, grace, and determination to OVERCOME-- You accept defeat, on the field and in life, and you try to learn more from that than you do from success. It's called CHARACTER BUILDING in some corners, and I've had more than my share. But it seems as though I am really blessed with the faith that gives me an optimistic view of these setbacks, because that optimism has been rewarded with a NEW path that took away the pain, dejection or whatever of the old path's end. It's "LIFE LESSONS" that I've learned and get to continue to keep on learning as my old path's get closed and my new paths continue (hopefully, I pray) to open.

But that doesn't seem to happen with DEATH. Death is a finality that doesn't lend itself to optimism, as I see it. There is no "well try harder" next time with death. Finality, finito--
Yes, there's talk of salvation, redemption, resurrection ( and I'm not minimizing that salvation in any way) and people say all the right things, but you're still sitting there with this finality like no other.

I did a pretty good job of both avoiding and ignoring death for most of first 28 years that I didn't even recognize it when it was staring me in the face, in the eyes of my father and his lung cancer. It was June, 1988, and I remember a few nights before he died in the hospital in Toms River, and I remember watching the Mets with him and my baby girl with me, and we had a good time like always. And so I just adjusted to this new setting without a thought of "the end is near". A few nights later (he'd been in the hospital for about three weeks), the night before he died, before I left for home I asked him if he would like some ice cream-- and he said yes, so I gave him some, and then I went downstairs to the shop and bought five more small dixie cups-- because I didn't want him to wake up that night and want some more without it being there. And I'm handing five dixie cups to the nurse and she looks at me and says "do you know how sick your dad is"?-- HELLO, wake UP!! Well, I was awake, but I was just SO UNAWARE-- and I chalk it up to my naivete or whatever, but I just hadn't even THOUGHT about MY DAD DYING--people die, sure, and I'd been to plenty of funerals, starting from when I was an altar boy in the church at 12 yrs old. And I was fairly familiar with the scripture reading "In my Father's house there are many dwelling places" and the other funeral selections, but this mainly applied to OTHERS. And early the next morning I am meeting death for the first time in a way that was so very, very painful-- and although I had 2 brothers and a sister I was so much younger than them we all "knew" each other, but I never thought that we like "grew" up together. And then I saw their pain too, and then I realized no matter how much we didn't know each other, we sure had this person, our dad, in common today. I could see they felt the same anguish, pain, and sorrow I did. And what could we do for my Mom, who all along had talked about how they were moving to Florida and then all would be good. Then, POOF.

Well, amidst all that optimism, all those blessings, ALL the GRACE GOD has given me, when HE takes something away with DEATH it is quite painful. But, I've learned, it is part of life, and what we experience in life.

So that woke me up to this aspect of life that was fortunately peripheral to my life, but now was a core part of my experience, and one that I was really praying would be extremely infrequent and with grace.

Once you go through it you are better able to deal with it, that's probably all I can say. (I'm not saying RUSH into it, either, so you know the experience). And I know terminal illness is a terrible burden, but I've seen many people deal with it in such a graceful and beautiful way that I almost consider it a true blessing to be able to share --to help "carry one to Jesus" or wherever your faith says one goes-- and they get to say GOODBYE--some have even written incredible books that they have shared, which is insight and help for any of us who are dealing with it. I recognized death when my buddy Bakes was dying, and it was incredibly sad and Luke and I knew after a long and courageous battle that fate was taking it's turn with Bakes, his family, and us. But we did get to say goodbye, and we did know, to the degree we wanted to, what was happening.

However, this other "death" event, where when one goes to work one day, and you say "have a good day" while getting off the ferry boat to your friends (or you just get off the phone with your friend!!) and then planes fly into buildings--or when one goes to sleep one night and doesn't wake up the next day-- those sudden events have a whole, unexpected aspect to death that I find even more frightening and fearful.

Bottom line, Death is death however you break it down--- I fear death in every form, despite my optimistic outlook on life. I was even a little scared that song "I'm ready" showed up early on this trip-- and I think I made it clear I'm NOT READY for death-- I have so much more to do, as do we all. I'm so optimistic I've had my wish, should God grant it, for my departure from this world into the next to happen many, many years from now (+50 would be ideal) while sitting on a sunny beach listening to a favorite 80th generation IPOD tune in a deep, deep napping sleep and simply "fade away"--

Okay, so that's my wish. And I find myself on occasion always praying for safety, for me, my family and friends, etc-----

More frequently, not less, it seems, the parents of my friends are getting older and the concept, topic, and event of death is showing up nearby. All you can do is be the friend you are, and give the love and care you have to give. I always thought it was important to simply "show up" whenever a friend, colleague, or aquaintance had suffered a loss of any kind-- as I remember (there's that word again) how grateful I was for all my colleague's who went out of their way from NY to show up in Toms River for me. It's in me.

It's so permanent, it's sad. But while painful to think about my dad's death, even today, on this Camino, one has to give thanks for the blessings on experiences with that person while they are here. Time does seem to help heal those wounds, and new paths do open up, but it stays with you in some way, shape or form.

And it's a little scary here on the Camino, because the word suicide has shown up with a few people I've spoken with. They are glad they are on the Camino--and so am I, I tell them--so the word is a fleeting "past tense" usage, but I try and impress upon them the theme that you always have people who LOVE you so much more than YOU KNOW, and there is always a Camino out there waiting, no mater how DARK the darkness on the egde is. NO MATTER HOW DARK---and I think they agree-now.

I guess it's important to make sure people get on a good CAMINO and meet good people should they living in that DARKNESS--- Based on my experiences here in Spain this is an incredible place to meet people who open the skies to light--- I mean, I have no idea what most of the people I've met do, but I know they have a spark for life and are ready for where it takes them. That's age 19 through age 68, from ireland, england, USA, Spain, France, italy, Japan and all those other countries I've mentioned----so I've got a wide breadth of exposure to form this opinion.

Sometimes we all go through this type of DARKNESS, and I'm praying for the pain to subside. I'm just a walking man, but here we are in Spain talking about life, and now, death.

"But I know, somehow, that only when it is dark enough, can you see the stars"-- Who said that?
???
No one ever get's this one, either (refering to my "when was the civil war" question if you're really a blog reader).

???

I remember Martin Luther King's (if I had ONE hero growing up, it probably would be him-- and I remember EXACTLY where I was on 4/4/68) speech just before he died, about how "like any man I would like to have a long life-- I think he said "longevity has it's place" and "I have been to the mountaintop"--"and I have seen the promised land".

And that night in Memphis (it was 4/3/68) MLK talked about many things--the dark before we can see the stars, and he spoke of the Good Samaritan. He imagined why the other's passed the man in need while the Good Samaritan stopped and helped. MLK said it was "fear".
Fear for safety, or something else.
Fear is common in regard to safety and life.

But I take comfort in his words, spoken so courageously and prophetically on the eve of his death--and his faith and confidence in God's will.
THIS MAN had no fear!!! GOD's WILL be done!!! And his KNOWING we will all get to the Promised Land.

I pray we have a happy and safe and longlasting life, and we accomplish a lot of those "WHY am I HERE" things during that long life, and then a graceful, painless and dignified exit from it.

I'm an optimist, what do you expect me to be praying for!!!! But, accepting that fear that I have, I trust that every day I apply myself to the "why I am here" that certainly, if nothing else, "God's will" will be done. And that lighten's my fear a little bit, and it makes a long walk lighter too.

From just about halfway,

Peace
TT

Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

People in my early life- and Winning-

2007-11-02T08:23:00.000-04:00

I have three days of no hills ahead-- with plenty of time for mindroaming---here is this morning's version---.

Could you imagine me not having gone to GTown?
I guess I can, but I haven't thought much about it--

This one is about people-- people who've impacted me, and for you to think about and make sure you know the people who've impacted you-- and sent you off in a direction of aspiration and motivation that you never quite appreciate-- till you think about where you are and how you got there and you realize IT WASN'T ALL YOU!!!!! It certainly wasn't, and isn't, all me---.

It was luck, fortune, fate, and at the right moments in time it was SOMEONE-- coming out of their world and entering mine with a selfless, giving heart!!

I'm remembering moments, and I don't think there are many who know or have heard these thoughts-- so I hope my kids like them and hope the rest of you enjoy, and perhaps take time to reflect on your own story and your own Camino.

Okay, so I pretty much grew up winning-- and that had to be pure luck!!!! It wasn't MY skill. My first two baseball teams lost a total of like 3 games in two years. I was 8 and 9 years old, and there was this new baseball pit near what I thought were the trash dumps in Toms River, but maybe they weren't dumps-- I don't remember.
I do remember the first game we lost, and the part I played. I was 8 yrs old on a 8/9/maybe young 10yr old minor league Toms River baseball league. It was the playoffs, and we were the team to beat, and Coach Issacson was a nice man with a large nose, and very soft spoken. We had practice twice a week, and now we were going to WIN the PENNANT. We had the coach's son, Fred, the Potter brothers, other's I can't recall.
I'm in left field and it must be the bottom of the sixth inning, and we are winning 1-0, and there's a man on first. And sure enough, the other team's big hitter is up and he hit's it--YOU GUESSED IT---right near me in left field. I remember seeing it off the bat, and the next thing I remember is that ball sailing right past my head NOT in my glove, and rolling to the fence behind me. And by the time I turn around with the ball the game is over and we've lost, and all I can think of -it's my fault-- because it pretty much is. Coach Issacson-- I remember one other thing about him-- he wasn't that tall, because I was 8 and he wasn't much taller than I was---why do I remember? Because when I walked into the dugout afterward he put his hand on my shoulder, and in his softspoken way, just said I'd do better next time.

I remember all that--and it was the biggest game of the year and we lost and I went home feeling okay because of Coach Issacson, and how he took the time to let me know it was okay. It wasn't good, but it was okay.

And I'm thinking that it wasn't that big a deal, but at the time THIS was my life!!!!!! It wasn't quite like John Thompson hugging Freddy Brown after he threw the game NCAA BBALL winning assist to James Worthy of North Carolina instead of Sleepy Floyd, his teammate, but thinking back on it it was close. And I'm very thankful that I had Coach Issacson!!! Because not everyone is like that. We went on to win the pennant that year, and we won the next year too when I was older and moved to catcher from the outfield. I learned a lot from those winning days, and I got used to it.
My coaches always seemed to expect to win when I was young, and so did we- the kids.

I remember Coach Applegate, and Coach Guetter and Coach Bisagno from the Toms River Little Indians---
I remember their way of teaching, of coaching, and of their focus on our doing drills-- we practiced every night from 6-8pm M-F, and we had games on Sunday. I remember, since we were the "Indians" that Coach Applegate had this spear-- and every game we would put the colors of the team we beat on the spear--UNTIL, once, WE LOST!!! And we didn't know what he was going to do. Well, the next game, before the game, he showed us the spear, and he showed us that he put a black tape band on the spear for that lost game (it was Ocean Township, 6-0 loss), and he told us he threw the tape away because we wouldn't be needing anymore black marks on the spear. And we didn't-- and I got my first of a few TR Little Indians Championship jackets.

My parents taught me to say please and thank you, my coaches taught me to say Yes Sir!!! and No Sir!!! And they all taught me to have appropriate respect-- earned respect--for everyone. Elderly people deserved it just because, and so did coaches. And so did shopkeepers.

Why? Mom and dad had a few simple rules-- don't cheat, don't lie, don't steal, and don't curse (and calling people names was cursing too, especially minorities, but I never heard that word "minorities" growing up). And I never heard my mom or dad curse. And when we went to one house in particular my mom would tell me to "close my ears" when Mr. Xyz talks, because every other word was a bad one. And we didn't go there except because my sister was dating their son. The current version is "ear muffs"!!!.

Oh, and one more rule---- Always help ladies with the groceries--and NEVER accept anything for it. Simple, yes, but occasionally I needed to learn a bit more clearly.

Like when I was around 5 yrs old and I wanted the candy at the Acme near St. Joe's, and my Mom said NO. Well, I'm in the car, and my mom looks in the rearview and see's me chewing something....... !!!!! Car door open, Mom out, me out, we are now walking back inside the Acme and my mom is finding a manager and I'm going to JAIL!!!! JAIL and REFORM SCHOOL and my life is OVER!!! And all I wanted was some CANDY. Candy out of mouth and in garbage, pockets open, candy back on counter, apologies to the manager, then to the cashier; apologies to cashier; my head can't GET far enough under my shirt, and then my mom PAYS for the candy we are leaving in the store. BOY, do I rememeber that one.

Okay, so occasionally the high school football coach would show up, Coach Signo.... And we would listen to him talk about how we were doing etc.

And we keep winning-- and now it's eighth grade and we are in the Shore Conference Finals, against Matawan and it's 22-6 at the half and we're winning-- I know because I am at my older brother's wedding, missing the first game of my life because my mom said this wedding (my brother's)was more important. Well, I was glad I could get the halftime score, as this wedding was good food but if I had my way (which I have learned I don't always get, but mostly) I would have gone to the game!!!!..... The FINAL??? WE LOST-- I don't know how, but we lost 24-22, and at the dinner we got runner-up and division champ jackets, not SC Champs. And Coach Bisagno says some nice things about me being a nice kid because I'm still sir'ing everybody yes sir here and no sir there-- and I'm still doing it when I'm 14 not just when we were 8. He says because I am the only kid on the team that is going to St Joe's (all the other kids that are going to St. Joe's play for the St Joe's Angels, but once I started at TR Indians they said I couldn't switch). And he says he doesn't know what they teach at St. Joe's, but he says it must be good based on me. Me, I'm just following the simple rules set by my mom and dad, sprinkled in with the sir's I'm calling everybody.

And now we're freshman, we have 21 kids on our team, the 21 Club we're called, because we are 4-0 and no one can see how some shrimps (that's what we aggregately weigh) can be beating these Group 4 public schools. We'll for one we have a quarterback who can throw a mile--which would be a lot of fun for me now that I've moved off the line and am a receiver.
But here we are down 6-0 at the half on a field next to railroad tracks in a town called Red Bank, where I was born. And the smart guy (okay, we were all pretty smart) says-- they're bigger, they're faster, they're stronger--- let's go out and "kill" them the second half--- and we try-- but we lose our first game, 12-0.
And Coach FIACCO (he's the varsity coach) tells us he's proud of us and we keep on going strong the rest of that season.

Sophomore year Coach Fiacco is instructing me in a way you can't do today--- he physically puts his head inside my helmet with me and my head, and he tell's me I'm not doing something correctly and would I mind "adjusting my approach" to the drill and do it correctly. He says it with words that I understand are appropriate in some places, but not others. I don't point out to him my mother's thoughts on these words based on his current enthusiasm for my helmet (mind you, my head is still in it).

I say, naturally, YES SIR!!! He says, emphatically, "and stop SIRing me!!!!

Whew-- he finally left my helmet alone, but I think he got his point across-- As I recall it, the point was "sometimes just put your head down and keep your mouth shut"!!!!! And do what you're told!!!!sometimes!!!

That brings me back to Rutgers/GEORGETOWN AND THE LARGER point to the story--YEAH.

So. These coaches had some big impact in forming my standards and my beliefs--especially in my confidence in my own ability to do anything. But sometimes there is that someone who just comes in at the right time and plays a role they don't EVEN KNOW how big.

Like the SECOND time I didn't get into Georgetown. OHHH-- YOU Don't know about THAT one either!!! Unlike the first time when I got completely rejected, this time I was merely "wait-listed", a permanent state of college purgatory that you just stay in as far as I was concerned. And I was pissed!!!!! I mean, c'mon- nothing but A+'s at Rutgers, good guy and all, and they WAIT-listed me. I was in Seattle, Washington working selling books door-to-door (it's the summer of 1979) because I didn't think I'd make enough money to pay for Georgetown (it was like $7k) working my standard job on the boardwalk in Seaside Heights--- so here I am in Seattle selling my butt off to pay for the school that doesn't even want me, even though the football coach says they do and they're "working" on it.

I'll SHOW THEM, I think-- I'lll just stay at Rutger's and SHOW THEM!!!

And then I get this call, from this guy I really don't know, and his name is Jay Calabrese. Coach Calabrese, who's wife or mother-in-law was from Toms River I think, is calling me with good news.
He is congratulating me because it's late July, 1979 and I've been accepted to the school I was all along thinking I was going to, Georgetown University.

Well, I tell him I kinda already told my Mom I'm not worrying about GTown ANYMORE!!!! And he spends a few, few minutes of his life trying make me understand the pivotal moment I am AT in my own.

Let me REPEAT that--
"He spends a few minutes in his life trying to make me understand the pivotal moment I am at IN MY LIFE"

Little did I know....

Aka-- going back to my "forgiveness" or "moving on" theme-- this is one of those moments where I am thankful that I decided to get off the "high horse" I was on, and MOVE ON. And I called Coach Calabrese back the next day, and I said thank you to him, and told him I look forward to playing for him and Coach Glacken at Georgetown.

HOW BIG were those minutes from Coach Calabrese?
Let's just say that I had never heard of Wall Street in Toms River!! Or at Rutgers.. We never wanted for anything that I was aware of when
I was growing up, but my parents didn't own a home let alone stocks.
And so sure enough, Coach Jay Calabrese said enough that day to convince me I had to give GTown a shot---and it didn't seem that big at the time---

But, to be clear, it WAS, and is, one of the key moments in my life. Because I DID find Wall Street and the job I loved, I did GO to the school I was meant to be at, and I did get to say "YES Sir" a few more years on the football field.

And of all the people who might have had a small impact on that, I know the one person who had a HUGE impact--Coach Jay C. And I told him so in person, but also in a letter about 7 years ago.

And many other people, and many other stories, have impacted my life in big ways too. Some REALLY big and important people with names you'd recognize from the news of the state and the world. And some who are colleagues and have just been incredible friends.

But in final measure of the state of affairs up till today, those "unknown but to me" people, like my mom and dad, Coach Issacson, the football coaches when I was young, Coach Fiac!!, these people had such a huge impact --NOT ONLY on the where I am today and I cannot imagine where I'd be without them, but ALSO WHAT I AM and WHAT I'd be without them.

I cannot imagine if Jay Calabrese had simply said "okay Tom, good luck at Rutger's" and had a one minute phone call and went back to his life and his family and his kids--- Instead of what he did say and the 15 minutes he spent trying to make me understand where I was and where I had the chance to be going. PODUNK Catholic high school in Toms River, NJ--YO, buddy, WAKE UP!!!!---

And I almost, almost missed it.

And so this morning on the Camino I am remembering that ball sailing past my head, my Mother taking me back to the Acme, Coach Fiacco inside my helmet with me, and Coach Jay Calabrese talking me down from my high horse. And so many more people that have positively with their time impacted me and mine. And this was just up to age 19!!!!!

I am thankful to all of them, and have, for the most part, told them, directly, just that. Some, like Jay, I write a long letter (and you know I can write LONG!!!) to so they really, really know (because how can YOU know unless someone tells you--you always hope, but you never KNOW).

And, fortunately for you reading this, I've got miles to go so I'll leave it here, and go back to my original point--- take a moment to reflect on those pivotal moments-- and who impacted you---- maybe even do a little writing of your own on it-- and share it if you choose

From another plain in the Meseta's

Peace
TT

Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

November- and Darkness and Light

2007-11-01T09:50:00.001-04:00

-sorry, can't org this one- good luck

Where were you on 9/19/78, that's 1978? I can tell you where I was--in my dorm room at Rutger's 3 weeks into freshman year of college (yes, I went to Rutger's freshman year- then GTown). I knew I had to study my but off if I was going to transfer to GTown, so I had my books in front of me and my stereo tuned to WNEW FM--102.7, at the ready to crank it up at the appropriate moment, which was coming soon---

And here I am, it's a little after mid-day in Spain, and I can't figure out why I am so damn tired---i had a comfortable and good night sleep(heated room!!!yeah!!), so I should be ready for an attack mode afternoon here in Spain after a fine morning walk on my Camino-- then I remember I've been walking for over two weeks EVERY DAY between 12/13 miles and 18 miles. AND I'm NOT HALFWAY!!!! Although I am getting there-

And now, feeling this way, I am starring at the hill (okay, MOUNTAIN!!) ahead of me that I am about to climb-- and I'm thinking with my mind telling my body I'm tired, and the climb in front of me, perhaps I need a little JUICE to get me up that mountain. Perhaps, sometimes, we all need some JUICE--healthy, uplifting, supportive juice, not the kind that ends in tragedy.

My juice of choice brought me back to that night, September, 1978, and the radio broadcast of the Capitol Theatre show. So I tee'd the IPOD to "Prove It", and commenced my pace uphill--"New Jersey, where they prove it all night", and I'm off, reflecting on that night long ago during this day, and thinking of my first September not playing football since I was like 7 years old, and the desire to do well in this school simply so I could go to the one I thought I was destined for--seemingly, anyway, as all my friends arrive where they should be, in Boston, Worcester, Providence, etc, and it seems as though I am the only one here in NJ--it seems that way because I am- the only one still in NJ--- but no worries because my radio is tuned to the live broadcast of BRUCE!!!!

And now it's almost 30 years later (29 exact) and I'm sitting on top if this mountain writing these notes, wondering what words of wisdom TSHEA and others will shed on my mass of convulted, but heartlfelt, emotion.

First, I'm thinking, everything since that night has gone pretty darn well if you measure it in hills climbed, joys experienced, children conceived and now virtually raised (and out of the house till they come back!!), friendships among the best a human being can have, and one woman, one love----- and I'm through "Prove it", and the IPOD is on scramble so "Spirit in the Night" comes on and I get about halfway up over those 20 minutes, and now DARKNESS come's on, and Bruce says "sometimes we all have to go through that darkness on the edge of town"---

And we do-- and it's a hill, mountain, life event or lack thereof, and it get's DARK. It's during those times we find out alot about ourselves, about our doubts, our true values, who loves us and whom we love, and then, on the other side of that darkness, should we be so fortunate, is, of course, we hope, The Promised Land.

Well, my wife downloaded some "darkness" on me that she thought I would want to know, about family events that aren't going quite right (not immediate family, but certainly close family); about some friends who had become the unfortunate victims of their firms' poor risk management and the ensuing layoffs at BofA (really the only news event I am aware of other than some political assasination in a spanish province last week)-- so, 3000 former BofA people will be facing some decisions with their careers/life issues --and I'm quite sure based on past experience that there will be more of that, not less, in the next few months. It's a typical Wall Street cycle---

And I'm up my mountain, this current one, but I've got plenty more to climb, and I reflect and pray that those who are approaching or in that "darkness on the edge of town" have enough JUICE (defined as supportive and loving family and friends, help,) to get them through their current darkness to their real Promised Land--

And I pray for that to happen quickly, for the camino they are on can be a beautiful one too--- just get through that darkness--- and I've already covered about "jobs", about this time of year, and the stress many people put on themselves (excessive) if they have a job, so those without one might be even more prone to stressing out!!!! No doubt.

Well, I can tell you there are so many things more important than "your job" (I have, haven't I?), but I know human emotion well enough to pray for speedy solutions to current predicaments-- which job issues are-- they are "current predicaments"--
They are not life issues, like terminal illness, divorce, sickness, death, and the like. They are current predicaments-- and I've said a prayer for those dealing with them--

It's All Saint's Day, and in Spain everything is closed except the town bar, which is all we pilgrims need (that's the equivalent, but a lot healthier, of your fast food place).

And the wind is starting to howl a bit, and in fact is blowing from the east to the west, so is at my back as TS requested. I might pull my gloves back on for the 'up' in the Meseta's walk ahead of me--

And I'm thinking of my prayer list, of the people that asked to be on it, and the people I put on it, and I'm keeping all those working folk, and recently laid off, and I'm thinking I'll have plenty to think about and pray for the rest of today.

And I'm feeling that wind, and the IPOD is back in the backpack, and I take one last look down to the town well below, and turn to West to the fields of more Meseta's-

And I'm thinking about these last almost 30 yrs again, and I'm thankful that each time my Darkness came, it was never the last song!!!! And I pray and trust you know it will never be your's either-

And I leave you today with the knowledge that;

I see my light come shining-
From the west down to the east,
Any day now, any day now,
I (we all) shall be released!!!!!!
Dylan

Peace
TT

Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

HEAVEN IN The Real World

2007-10-31T07:55:00.001-04:00

And where Heaven fits in
1) The weather
2) The Earth and the Sky meet
3) Heaven -"WHY AM I HERE?"
4) My heart, and yours

1)
My sleeping bag is really warm!!!
How do I know? Because occasionally (like last night) I stayed in one of those less posh albergue's with no heat, and it is absolutely FREEZING here in Spain--and I slept warm so I know!!!!
We are in the mountains at about 3500 feet, so it is chilly in the morning. But, I heard there was SNOW nearby yesterday and if there is any precipitation it could be SNOW!!!

SO, HAPPY HALLOWEEN from Spain!!!!
The big city of Burgos, and it's magnificent Cathedral, are behind me, and the mountain plains of the Meseta's and I will get to know each other for many days.

Did I say we are at 3500 feet? I mean, for one second-- then, of course, we descend, we climb, we descend etc--- all part of the fun--

I bought ski gloves, a head/ear wrap, and a warm fleece type reebok thing, so I am , yes I am , I AM READY
Once again to get moving cold or warm.

Okay, so my new fleece takes up half my sack and weighs a bit, and while I was looking for the ultra-thin and water/windproof biking type gloves, I settled for parka type ski gloves-- which are very BIG but worked great this morning---
2)
We are in the Meseta's, mountain plains, where the "sky touches the earth" as Simona (Italian girl walking the camino for the 2nd time because the scallpp shell saved her ife in a car accident in Italy) says. Simona and I walked today as she did some stuff in Burgos and arrived at the small albergue as well- a nice familiar surprise. It is so pleasant to run into people you are now familiar with--back to that community of pilgrims.. Well, at our peak morning height we almost could- touch the sky, clouds, white (cumuli in Italian)cumulous, not rain, we're above us, the sun found a window to the earth and I took picture of the sun rays piercing through the clouds and reaching down---
3) Heaven
And I wrote that title for today's note before I started, but now I have been lead to a song-- and I put it on--Simona is well ahead of me and while we start together I am back to that familiar "alone and walking" pace-- and sometimes I sing what I want to hear, but this time I pulled out my Ipod and listened to "Heaven", by Bar Scott--i mean, I felt close enough to heaven I might as well--and I've seen this song performed live and she's a friend as well- so it just hit me- and sure enough, it took me back to the Beacon Theatre in 2002, and how Bar just LIFTED us all out of our seats, as if she wouldn't settle for a simple "performance" of the song--
This was an audience participation song---"WE ALL FALL Down, and we get up again, we all get up"--and we all pretty much did get UP!!
And now I'm on the Camino, and I'm listening to "Heaven", and then-
"Why am I here?" Why am I here, ashes to ashes, we all fall down, and we get up again" part of lyrics from the song-- and right there in the song is the question I'm continuing to probe and throw out there-- --" Why am I here". I know the song, but was moved to listen to it today because of the sun, earth and sky, but then this complexity of thought enters into the equation UNEXPECTEDLY-- and so I listened again to hear more of what the song meant to me, but also to think about what Bar was thinking when she wrote it-- it's so much more complex than I thought--and realized that would be hard to know her feelings, I probe more of my own on the "why am I here"?.

So I went back to my thoughts on Heaven, and how blessed I am to think I've had the experience of Heaven in my life on occasion, and thankful for those experiences. Pretty bold statement, since I really don't know "heaven" except for those feelings I have--but if heaven can be as good as I have felt during those moments I identify as heaven, well then I think I'll be pretty happy "if and when" I get there. As I go one foot in front of the other I am in no rush to Santiago or Heaven!!

In the meantime, I get to see, hear (with my music and just nature), and feel heaven in my life through the joy and love I share with my family and friends (includes working colleagues, my buddies, my townies, the whole lot of you). And perhaps a little insight is shining on me like those sunrays peaking through the clouds, and it's telling me !!!

I know why I am here---!!!!!!!

I am here, wherever I am, to create and share whatever piece of heaven I can between me and those I interact with.
That's why I am here!!!!! Or maybe I'm misreading something or not? But that's what I'm feeling, and it seems so simple, and so good, and just about right-- to create those moments for myself and the people I love such that we all feel like HEAVEN is shining down on us, daily, regularly.
I know I fall short, or fall down, but I get up again---
What was that verse from Tracy Chapman-- "I've conquered hills, bit I've got mountains to climb"!!

Wow--- again, WOW!!! And then I think that is way to bold, perhaps I'll just settle for being a good guy and friend and stuff-- but I don't mean create in an architechtural way, like I can just plan it and wish it-- I mean through being myself, and seizing opportunities of connection with those people whom I care about, perhaps the "why I am here" will just appear between us because of the sharing of caring and love--
4)
Kenneth, the danish guy, came AT ( I mean AT) me two or three days ago, after I had an interaction with a Spanish man asking directions, and he made an observation to me that I have yet to share here--- he said "people can see into your (my) heart right away in an easy fashion"--- it was a bit broken english so that's what I remember, but I probed him about what he observed that made him say this--
I hadn't thought I was so "soft", but this 62 year old danish man made a call-- so maybe "I am here" to open my heart wherever I can--to whomever I meet--- and see what comes back!!! I certainly would say I've met a lot of people with open hearts on this Camino--

And perhaps this will lead me back into my non-walking world with a better sense of purpose and caring-- I really think some things in my mind are "changing" on this walk, but it's no time for conclusions or anything like that--- the "why am I here" will evolve, the "what am suppose to do" next will evolve, but I like my thoughts from this morning (yes-- this was all just the morning!!!)

Most importantly--- I don't know how this sounds to the reader, so I'll footnote this that I say what I've said above with the humilty of knowing I, and all of us, have extreme limitations on what we do know and can know, so I humbly submit these thoughts knowing that this is one simple man's thoughts--
Heck, that one song had me fairly well complexed and confused, so I leave with you the knowledge that Heaven above, and the knowledge of it, is fairly safely intact despite my efforts to get closer.
I, for myself at least, have a long way to go before I know more.
Submitted humbly, as all these thoughts are,

From Hormillos del Camino-

Peace,
Tt

Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

The community of Pilgrims

2007-10-29T14:24:00.000-04:00

1&2)- ramblings-
3) Forgiveness-

1&2)
I know what book I will read first when I arrive back home. The "Hitchiker's Guide to the Galaxy" is second- so no, that's not it.

Paulo Coehlo, "The Pilgrimmage"- will be the first.
PS- it's the only thing I know, other than seeing my family.

I walk and walk, and occasionally I take a wrong turn (poorly marked path today) and walk some more.

I GOOGLE-EARTHED myself- is that a verb yet? TS-check this one!!! Anyway, I had this thought that I was watching myself walk from outside my body, like I went on Google Earth and GPS'd myself-- and was watching the one foot in front of the other. It was, as they say, an out of body experience.

I met a young man from Japan who said he was "navigated" (talking GPS!!) here by God, and thinks his next stop after this is Africa. His view is the world is so unfair to those in the sub-Saharan conntinent and he wants to help.
Many people on this walk seem to have that as a theme-what can they do, personally, to make the world a better place.

Last night I was one of two in the Albergue, tonight I was the last person let in (19th) and will be sleeping on the floor in the biggest city yet, Burgos. I do mean city this time!!!! I went into a cafeteria near the city to get some cafe' and was in SHOCK--- I hadn't seen more than 3 people in one place for weeks, and this diner was PACKED--there were no seats!!! And NOISY!!!
Had my cafe' and I left quickly-- but can't escape the fact that I am going into crowded quarters, at least for a day. It's good timing because the weather has turned cold and my orange sleeveless vest is not going to last much more--so tomorrow it's some shopping for gloves, a warm hat, and a real fleece. Then, some more walking. My right leg above the inside knee muscle didn't feel quite as bad today, so maybe that will subside. But after 8 hours of walking my body is pleased to reach the albergue.

An Australian young man (30yrs old) passed me today (okay, so I'm traveling 3-3 1/2 miles an hour, and he flew by me at 4+mph!!!! Alex, it turns out, is on the Camino as part of his PHD-- his topic? Religious Tourism-- he is walking the camino and spending time in India.

3)
So, occasionally I walk with my IPOD and listen and see what comes on, especially if I'm near a road where the music can take flight and the cars and trucks become truly invisible and silent.

A song that has great meaning to me came on the IPOD, "Carry You to Jesus" by Stephen Curtis Chapman. I associate the song with the difficult and sad terminal illness and death of a dear friend a few years ago. It reminded me of him and our times together and his family and how blessed we were to have him in our lives.

But then something else came over me-- it seemed like something big, that I was being told to reflect on.
And I thought of another friend-

There are many ways we can "carry" people to Jesus, and one of them is through showing FORGIVENESS-
Forgiveness--

And about forgiveness/ or giving way when necessary to a partner/friend.
Sometimes, you just have to let go, and let it go. I was thinking about the times in my life when I received, and when I provided, forgiveness.

And I thought about how much more complicated my life would have been without forgiveness. What IF??
What if I NEVER forgave what needed to be forgiven-- and what if I never had received it?

I see so many issues that could be either resolved or radically improved if one embraces forgiveness. It is as if you don't provide forgiveness, then the seed of that grudge/ax/problem stays with you- forever- and never moves from that point forward. And everytime you think of that person all you can think of is what THEY did- when the alternative is clearly there to MOVE BEYOND. For yourself, not for them. Because withholding forgiveness puts a burden on yourself, and may or may not inflict the revenge you desire/intend-- What if the other person has moved on??!!! "Hey, I made a mistake, and I'm moving on and hope you do to"--But you're sitting at the TOLL BOOTH of LIFE awaiting some payment for that mistake--some people wait their whole lives!! And, simply, we can "Carry people to Jesus", or peace, if we provide forgiveness, even when they don't deserve it, but especially when they do. And that allows us to move on, move beyond, and let it go.
A friend, a partner (or former partner especially), child-- wherever we provide it--
Matthew 18:21-35. The parable on forgiveness. The unmerciful servant on forgiveness. In short form-

Peter to Jesus-- should I forgive my brother 7 times? Jesus to Peter-no, not seven times but seventy times seven!!! 70X7 FOR EMPHASIS
So, Jesus says 7X70, but all you have to do is that once that provides you the peace that is waiting on the other side of that gesture.

And that, my friends, is most of what I thought about yesterday.

Peace,
TT

Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

2007-10-28T15:16:00.000-04:00

1) The view and "sunshine"
2) The history
3) My shoes

General interest note-
What a country!!!!!!!! Matt (that's my son) asked me "what's the view like?
Wheat fields and already harvested wheat, hills, more hills, no flowers (it's October, not May), and mountains to the north!!!!! I haven't seen leaves, but walked through my first forest today (sunday). And, about every 5 or 10 miles I walk into a town/village/pueblo. I am not here for sightseeing, but there is some opportunity in each town to see the church. All my new friends seem to have either gone ahead of me or finished their trip. Most of the last few days I am walking alone, with intermittent interaction with pilgrims on the path. My sightseeing on this trip is focused on my heart and my soul, and occasionally the hearts of others.

What a country, still!!!! Today we saw the first frost, and after the clocks turned back--- Tomorrow I will arrive in the largest city so far, Burgos. There I will buy GLOVES, although my extra pair of socks have worked just great in the early morning before it warms up.

We started walking yesterday after spending the night in Granon on the church attic floor. After dinner, which was prepared by the couple who volunteered to be "innkeepers" of the church for 2 weeks, we went into the church through the upper entrance, and there I heard my first songs of the trip, one in Spanish and one in French. They were peregrino (pilgrim) songs, or prayers, "Ultreia" and "Sur de pereginos". Songs, softly sung, in a these languages in an empty 450 year old church were beautiful.

Next morning, with a very grey sky and cold air, I started my walk with Anapie (the youngest) and Theirry-- and we practiced singing the songs--

After 30 minutes they thought in unfair to sing french and spanish without an English language song. They asked for me to teach them one, which I did. Again, cold and grey, I chose John Denver's "Sunshine on my Shoulders"!!!!! Pretty corny, but simple to sing with absolutely beautiful themes--!!!! And JD sings it very well--- and TODAY--- GUESS WHAT?--- it was SPECTACULAR (after the frost subsided). Sunshine all day. I saw Anapia and Thierry at the end of the day and sang it again!!!! They learned it well, and enjoyed the message followed by the actual weather.

2) History lesson-
WHAT A COUNTRY!!!!!! Did you know?
Ok, short history lesson on Spain-

When did the million people die in Spain for freedom??
Oh, only 70 years ago (1936-1939)!!!!! Not the 15th century!!! And then they endured nearly 40 years of dictatorship before the King, Juan Carlos, fulfilled his father's exiled desire to introduce democracy to Spain.

The Spanish civil was glorified in my history class, something the Spanish barely acknowledge due to its pain.

Franco-- 1939- took over Madrid, and ruled until "Saturday Night Live" officiallyl declared him dead- for one whole season in 1975 and occasionally for seasons beyond-- it was a good line on the show "Gen Franco is now, officially, dead!!!

And now, 30yrs + after, they have wiped the memory of Franco and those years from their history!! And Spain has a dynamic economy-- oh, and they survived a Coup D'etat in 1981 because King Juan Carlos didn't back down from the democratic ideals he embraced in 1975 (he made a choice!!).

Okay, so that's my short history. Spain is a very young democracy, and Juan Carlos is a decendant of King Louis XIV (ala French Revolution King!!)

3)
Okay, back to my walk-
I am sporting New Balance 816s, the all black version, on most days (I've already reviewed the sizes for you). They are great--- and I also am wearing my Teva sandals, except they can be a pain with the rocks getting under my feet. My feet, to date, are doing well. Anything can happen, and I have seen a few pilrgrims suffering some sever pain issues, which will effect their ability to finish the walk--
My only problem is end of day feet pad pain (normal), and middle of day on muscle pain in one muscle, above the inside left side of my right kneez. It's like a vicegrip grabs and squeezes it. Hope it doesn't stay with me.

4). Forgiveness-

Okay, have to continue this one--
So much to say on my thoughts that I came into on this it will be a separate note

Peace
TT
Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

I'm staying in Griffendor tonight

2007-10-26T12:35:00.000-04:00

1) The attic
2) food/ saturday night live
3) stories
4) Answers to that song/artist quiz

1)
It seems like that, but its an attic of a beautiful church in Granon-- The host is preparing a community dinner for the 9 of us here, and we will all sleep in an open loft attic above the church. It's right out of the Harry Potter movie, but it's the Iglesia de San Juan Baptiste, about 800 years old. It's a muggle village now, so no magic EXCEPT for the PILGRIMS YOU MEET!!!

2)
Okay, so I've adjusted to my new daytime diet. Dinners are great, as the restaurants have perigrinos menu's that are 3 course meals (pasta, meat and desert). Lunch/breakfast are a different matter.

Remember Saturday Night Live- Dan Akroyd/John Belushi era--

Well, here's my version--

Breakfast-
Ola, I'd llike egg whites with some fruit, yogurt and granola

Jamon (ham), de pain (more bread than you can eat in a day), and cafe!!

He/she repeats-
Jamon, de pain, cafe!!!!!
Si, I say, I just have the ham on bread!

Chee burgr chee brgr chee brgr chips- coke, no pepsi!!!!!!!!!!

Lunch-

Jamon!!! Jamon!!!! Jamon!!! Coke, no pepsi!!!

So I go in looking for a salad or something lunchlike and I walk out with a ham sandwich!!!

Chee burger chee burger chee burger chips!!!

3)
Stories;

Simona, from italy (28 yrs old)-
First italian I've met. She's here in the church attic tonight.

TT-Why are doing the camino for the 2nd time in a year? (Last oct-nov as well).

Simona- Because i had the camino shell in my car and as far as Simona's concerned it saved her life--
So this is her way of saying thanks to St James for protecting her and allowing her to survive a horrible car accident!!

The Scallop Shell is the symbol for the Camino de Santiago and for St James, and everyone carries one on their backpack/somewhere. Simona just happened to have one in her car that day when she was creamed by a truck. Just a walk, but tell that to any of the people you meet!!! Not after you hear their stories.!

Walking thru the bustling city of Logrono-- elderly man with one eye, a cane, stops me as i am walking--
Pulls out his wallet and tells me of something he ALWAYS has carried with ever since he walked the camino (all in spanish, mind you)--- and he pulls out this beautiful Camino shells and Cross small bracelet-silver, about 6 inches round with small shells every 1/2 inch and a larger Cross centering the piece.--- and he just wanted to wish me the bueno blessings he has had having the shells with him. I mean, he enthusiastically HALTED me !!!

Today-- walked with kenneth-- danish snorer. We are two of the slower walkers, but I'm a bit faster than him. But we had a great walk together and conversation as he spoke very acceptable english. He also took the pix of me and the Georgetown hat.

Told me of his sister passing away from cancer about 7 years ago, but now he's telling me he found his brother after 48 yrs (parents-father/didn't want a 3rd child)-- he got family papers from his uncle- saw he had a brother-- and after some time started a search--
And found him about 3 years before his sister died.
He never confronted his parents, but he found him on his own and he is very happy he did. Retired teacher-
Parents still alive, and it's a bit awkward with his dad because he went and found the brother his dad didn't want
- he is an existentialist- which he explains means "no one controls my life but me"-.

He's doing the Camino for cultural reasons, and detests established religions. He will learn italian and aslo thinks he might want to learn the piano upon returning to Denmark.
We walked for hours and there is so much more you can't imagine, but you'll have to-

Religion as an institution is "NOT" very popular on the camino-- but spirit and spirituality is HUGE.

It's kinda like I've got Whoopi Goldberg and the "Sister Act" choir in my head, and there just singing, real soft

Oh happy days
Oh happy day

Oh happy days
Oh happy day
When Jesus washed,
Washed my sins away

And then the 12 year old (okay, very young man by voice age) lead singer starts just taking over

HE TAUGHT ME HOW!!!

And then, In the middle of wheat fields, vineyards, farms, a herd of lambs, the 12 year old singer steps back, and....

I get to sing lead for a few verses...

And it's a happy day.

4) Answers to the quiz
The artists and songs-refer back for the whole quote (can't do the cut/paste thing well on bbery)

A) Conquered hills-
Tracy Chapman, "at this point in my life"

B) my souls expanding-
Bob dylan, "Thunder on the mountain"

C) this was easy, Bruce walk like a man

D) this was easier- U2 walk on

And the verse was
"Packing our bags for a place
None of us has seen,
A place that has to believed,
To be seen"

Peace
Tt

Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

The picture

2007-10-25T11:39:00.001-04:00

Is of a farmer i met on the road and his wife. We are in the middle of the Rioja wine country and i am walking with the danish guy kenneth--

And i'm walking a bit elevated from the field below, which gave me a view of the farmer's baseball cap--

Unfortunately i don't think this photo shows the name-- but, in the middle of northern spain, wouldn't you know it that this guy had on a GEORGETOWN HOYAS hat!!!!!!!!!!

Well, i explained to him my connection to the school, and then he told me about the hat, but he spoke so fast i didn't get it.

Anyway, quite a coincidence in a field in Spain. Only to me, here, on this day, MY CAMINO!!!

So much more, so many stories--
Enjoy your busy day and i'll pick a few to tell you tomorrow

From Azofra,
Peace
TT

Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

PIX:Can you see the team on this hat this farmer in Rioja is wearing? WE ARE!!!!!!!!!!! Even in Spain!!!!

2007-10-25T03:54:00.000-04:00

Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

NOT short, but in organized sections

2007-10-24T13:39:00.000-04:00

Organized for you today---

A) Today on the trail--Grapes, my Spanish amigos, and CHOCOLATE!!!

B) MY WIFE-

C) Musings/song verses, and Bertrand Russell vs Mother Theresa

It's all here, in this blog note--hope you find it --whatever it is that might be here for you!!

A)--
Okay, i'll try to organize when i can--

Well, the Spanish guys (mainly Felix) have taken a liking to me and are pleased that an American has learning capabilities and desire to explore (that was not their general sentiment). Apparently one of them went across the USA once and people were asking him where Spain was in relation to Mexico!!! Wow, he met some geographically challenged people. I'm "new jerwsey" to the Spanish guys (they all work together in the casino in the Canary Islands). Whenever they are talking to me they say "hey, new jerwsey,"-- they've taught me two songs!!!! So now i have right, left, front, back 123 down and also, you'll be impressed;

"La illueva en seville es pura maravilla"

This is the spanish version of that famous line in My Fair Lady (it's a play-go see it!!) The spanish movie used Seville because it sounded better in the spanish language!!.
From My Fair Lady:
"The rain in spain falls mainly on the plain"

On the walk over the last few days--
Fig trees, grape trees (vineyards), fuente's (fountains) that spout water, and one special fountain on the trail through a bodegas that had one spicket for water and one for vino tinto (red wine)!!!!! One of the french guys filled his "camelback" water sack with the red wine and he arrived a bit later at the albergue than the average pilgrim that day!!!!! But the wine here is great!!!and i haven't seen a bottle for more than €4 !!!! So, were not only seeing fig trees and grapes, we're eating them right on the trail!!!
There are water fountains in every town and on the trail and the water is superb!!!

One hitch-- the restaurants in some towns typically don't open till 8:30pm, last night that was just too late as i was tired. So i shopped and was going to cook spaghetti!!!! Upon returning, the spanish guys were so happy to see "new jerwsey" (me) they insisted i eat their pasta (excellent!!!) And i insisted they drink my wine!!!!

I shared my desert--CHOCOLATE BAR- nestle's crunch-- everyone likes chocolate as a good energy provider!!!!!holy cow, how perfect is this-- i get to eat my favorite food every day as a "necessary" item as fuel for my walk!!!! Today i had a kitkat bar a core part of my lunch.

And as today's picture suggests, the Spanish guys and Chous(zeus) finished their Camino walk today and i kept going, so that picture was our goodbye. I walked alone for the rest of the day and arrived rather late at today's albergue. Tom, what's up with the ORANGE vest???? That's my fleece-- Eastern Mountain Sports has had it on the clearance rack for TWO YEARS, and i snapped it up for $19 bucks!!!! It's been perfect as the weather starts out cold and usually (not yesterday) the vest is off by 11am. And i am visible in case i fall into a ravine or something!!!

It's just a perfect time of year to do this walk--and yes, the weather has helped. I think the fact that the crowds are light is an even bigger bonus-- and there's no rush to get to the albergue or worry they will be full with no bed for me. Tonight their are 17 people here.

Speaking about RUSH-rushing, hurrying-

B)- WIFE
So i looked over the walk and timing and knew before i started that it would be a stretch to make the whole trip walking and get home for thanksgiving. I didn't want to leave earlier as i wanted to attend Allie's (Camy's too, but it was Allie's first) parents weekend at GTown. So i left on that monday, the 15th. Well, i was walking yesterday and my mind was filling up with these thoughts about
1) I can't take a day off or i won't finish 2) i'll have to take a bus and skip a few towns - 3) maybe i can double up and do 40-50km a few days in order to finish!!!!!! And i was driving myself a little nuts.

So, I did it!!!!!!!

Did what, you ask?

I asked my wife permission to miss thanksgiving, if needed. I told her i didn't know what the next 20-30 days would bring, but i wanted to be free to do whatever CALLING the Camino has for me. If i'm meant to be home for THXGVG I'll be there (although missing that meal would be a benefit on my physical objective!!). If i am healthy and growing phys/mental/spiritual such that i just can't leave, and in fact i'm going to walk an extra 3 days to Finisterre (the former end of the world until Columbus sailed the Ocean!!), then i'll do that. AND, if it all works out that MY CAMINO puts me in Santiago, Finisterre, and all is good, perhaps I'll just have to return through BILBOA, where BRUCE happens to be playing on Monday, 11/26th.
ANYTHING could happen, and my request to my wife was to allow me to "let it". Liz, being her usual giving self, told me that whatever i decided was fine-- fine, "you stay in Spain and i'll host the 35 people/family for THXGVG"!!!!! My wife is a pretty special lady, and she had a good idea of what she was getting into when she married me, but i have taken it to extremes (like this Camino thing!). I mean, c'mon, she said yes to this whole sabbatical thing to begin with-- and originally I was taking SIX MONTHS OFF!!!!! Now, we're empty nester's with 2 in college and one loving boarding school ( type of school a first for us) so much he barely wants to come home on his "off" weekends!!! AND THEN I GO AWAY for a month (and now 1 1/2 mo's).

Well, I am very thankful for this woman, this Liz Thees, who has said yes to practically everything I've ever thrown her way, especially that first yes on ME!!! She even said YES to Moose (choc lab dog), who arrived as a surprise at THKSGVG 2003!!!! Boy, she wasn't happy that day-- I was in the DOGHOUSE like you read about!!! She had said NO to a second DOG ever since XMAS 2001 because she was doing all the real work. And this was real DOGS!!!! But three days later in 2003 LIZ came home and said YES!!!! And Allie stopped crying.

Well, anything can happen, and now i am free to get this camino thing fully explored with no limitations!!!!! And, i could be home next week because I hurt myself-(65 yr old German man was said to have passed away last night in an albergue on the Camino, and it was said he was trying to finish quickly and do 25-30 miles day)-or i could have a finale to top all finale's--- with a BRUCE in SPAIN show to follow hugging St. James in Compostella (the statue!!!)
For now, I am pleased to say that I am back to taking it one step at a time, one foot in front of the other.
Whatever the Camino has in store for me, guess what?

"I'M READY" ( i hope you listened to that song!!!).

And i feel that river of blessing washing over me!!!!

And occasionally on this Camino, among the many thoughts i have, I come across the thought that i am very, very lucky to call Liz my wife!!!!
And I sing or pray or just thank God for that most significant blessing.

C). Musings
Went to mass at a great church in Los Arcos--and received the special pelligrinos blessing from the priest. It's a community on the Camino, but you just don't know who will be there with you tomorrow or next week.

Song verses that i reflected on today---

"Conquered hills, but i've got mountains to climb"

"Feel like my soul is beginning to expand,
look into my heart and you'll understand"

"I pray for the strength to,
walk like a Man"

"Packing a suitcase for a place, none of us has been,
A place that has to be believed,
to be seen"

Okay, whats songs and artists?

Now, for my musing--
Last verse above had me thinking (okay, they all did)-
So a few nights ago i wanted to lose a bit more baggage so i read the essays I took with me-- Mother Theresa's 1979 Nobel Peace prize acceptance speech, and Bertrand Russell's - "Why I Am Not A Christian"---

I am not afraid to read, digest, and accept other's point of view on matters of politics or faith, and have a vibrant dialogue and exploration on any aspect of a faith tradition that can assist me in getting where I'm going. So, Mr Russell, using that awfully strict tautoligical (how's that, TS?) rationalization, has made some conclusions summed up in his title.

Me, I don't know who's right/wrong on most things- life doesn't seem to have gotten easier in this respect. The "two-sides to every story" keeps complicating things, especially when one rushes to judgement. I know what makes the world a better place as opposed to a smarter place -- and that's the behavior of Mother Theresa, in our hearts and homes and communities, as opposed to the debate and a rationalized view of the world.

I've (and you have too) seen enough irrational behavior in this world to not worry about a fulfilling, rational approach to daily life. Instead, for the "Magis", the greater good, and the greater glory, I'll just believe in the place that "has to be believed to be seen"!!!!!!

Peace, from Navarette, Spain
TT
Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

Spanish Teachers and me-their last day walking so we say goodbye

2007-10-24T04:35:00.000-04:00

Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

WHAT? is passe; it's the WHY that matters, so WHY aren't we asking WHY?

2007-10-23T12:05:00.000-04:00

Life on the camino has it's up's and downs-- and that's MANY ups and MANY downs-- i have stopped thinking in feet and now realize when I see 300m on the map showing an elevation climb it means METERS, so i'm climbing a 1000+ feet, not 300. The third or fourth time i suspected i had gone a bit more than 300 feet I looked harder at the elevations-- so now i know meters-- and i know KILOMETERS--- i should, i've been doing enough of them, but not so bad-- 22-26 kms a day/ 13-16 miles so far, but i'm sure my distances will be increasing over time.

All in all, it's been a good start. I appreciate that i should write these words realizing that someone besides me might want to understand what the heck i'm saying, so i'll be a bit more attentive to that-- a bit, but I am more of a stream of consciousness writer so there just might be some passages that weren't for you -- so move on--or maybe when i reread some of this i will be saying WHAT the hell was I thinking!!!!

Go with it for now, and i'll do my best-- MY BEST--- returning momentarily-- to PHILOSOPHY--
I think my treatise statement MIGHT be interpreted as TOO ONE-Dimensional-- like it's meant only for concerts, or jobs, or whatever--

So, TREATISE #2-- multi-dimensional-
ALWAYS DO YOUR BEST, especially for and when SERVING (in service of) OTHERS-- and "do your best" means with the gifts, talents, and capabilities/resources at your disposal--your God given YOU!!

Okay, that clarifies philosophy, so maybe when i get to a computer i'll revise that other essay--

Do your best??? What's that mean on the camino? Well, i think the key on the Camino is to BE YOUR BEST, as in TRUE SELF-- there are no pre-conditions, no social status, everyone pays €5 to stay in the albergue (there is no "suite presidential", per se)--,
But then again, people are always evolving and their "self" is too-- The Camino lets you get a bit more thoughtful on it. How?, you ask?
Well, for one, no one asks me WHAT I DO? A lot of people ask WHY AM I doing the Camino!!!!

How about we all just start over and instead of using the word WHAT all the time we go a bit deeper and start with WHY? Like this;

1)Hi, how are you?!!!
2)Good, and you?
1) I'm fine. WHY are you on the EARTH?
2) Hold on a minute-- i haven't really EVER ANSWERED THAT question before?? REALLY TRULY--so, let me tell you WHAT I DO and WHAT I WANT and WHAT I NEED, and i'll get to this WHY thing in a little while.

Well, i'm throwing that out there all over the place here--and i'm asking myself that question too!!!! WHY, not WHAT.

68 years old, two guys (one from england with his wife who is walking for a week, and one from Spain who is going all the way to Santiago) are the oldest people i've met.
The Canadian "save the world" girl (and i DO NOT mean that in ANY way derogatory, to be clear--she's just a really nice sincere 'caring about the world' person) was the youngest at 21, TILL TODAY, when 19 yr old Anipia
From Austria showed up midway through the day.

TT : "Anipia, WHY are you walking the Camino?"
A : "i really don't know, but i know i do not know what i want to do with my life so i am walking, hoping it will help guide me"!!!!

Sounded good to me!! Then i started to ask about her parents and stuff and how they felt, and then, since i have kids her age, i started to think about what I WOULD DO? If one of my kids suddenly got off their path and wanted a new one, like the CAMINO? I "think" i would try and convince them to do it in the summer. But that's just a GUESS--
And kid's DO NOT TEST this guess anytime soon, thank you!!!!

Okay, so we moved beyond the WHY for now (she spoke french and english well enough,so that was good for communication)

Next question? HOW did you hear about the Camino?

Anipia : her aunt did it starting in AUSTRIA

TT : and where did she walk to?

Anipia : She walked the Camino

TT: FROM AUSTRIA?????

A : YES

TT: Anipia, where did you start your walk?

A : "i started in El Puy, France, on Sept 2nd, 2007 as i didn't think i could make it all the way from AUSTRIA before the snow.

I told her that was a good decision as she would "FREEZE her BUTT off"-- she had never heard of that expression and practiced it a few times--

So she is taking a friendly, leisurely, 3 month WALK-- and she has parents just like me!!!

Alll stripes on the Camino-- so far Japanese, Korean, Slovakian, French, austrian, belgique, austalian, Spanish, English, Danish, Brazil(Atonio!!!!), Hungary,Swiss, and a few Canadians-- these are the original countries of the people i've met--so far. Some started in their home and have been walking for months, some will only walk a week--all kinds.

MY Spanish-- i can get you any food (although it seems that ham is always on special), i have all the basics to be able to survive, as ZEUS (that's how i spelled it) has allowed me to intermittenly walk with her and then leave her alone--she is "me professeura", CHUS is the correct spelling but it sounds like ZEUS ---
CHUS is on the Camino for only a few more days, but she is happy with my progress!!! As are the spanish guys who all work together in a casino but are now walking for a week of vacation-- TOGETHER--
Oh, i forgot to tell you i saw my first family-- father, mother and it looked like 14-15yr old daughter--from Hungary--truly all kinds on this walk.

Bueno!!!!

Okay--
ROUTINE
1)Wake up 7am (although today in Los Arcos the bells of the Church(beautiful) literally THREW us out of bed at 6am, and 6:30, and 7am--i guess the townspeople really like the bells!!!)
2) Dress/breakfast
3) Start walking 8:15-8:30
4) 8:35- stop and stretch (this repeats regularly
5) 1pm- lunch, somewhere, and you know what's on the menu??? Ham on bread!!! And it's very good
6) 4/5pm arrive at next Albergue
7) 1st/ prep clothes for tomorrow (only have two sets
8) shower (they've been great!!! )
9) Wash clothes, by hand and then hang to dry
10) WRITE JOURNAL!!!!!
11) EAT dinner. €10 pelligrino (pilgrim)dinner inclusive of wine
12) Bed

Okay, so that's the routine-- but to be clear, the substance of this Camino is that there is NO ROUTINE!!
Everyday is different, with different conversations, different people (new or old) different feelings, emotions, SONGS, and pains.

Pain: my walking poles have done me wonders in making sure through all the ups and downs i don't fall, but i have to give some credit to my knee brace-- i saw that the seams on one side have partly ripped, which means on one of my downhill ALMOST "falls" that my sticks kept me up but my brace kept my knee intact--thank you!! My body is adjusting to walking 6+ hours a day, and i am shocked to realize when i walk to dinner i am wondering why i DON'T have my backpack on!!!!! It's as if my body thinks the backpack on my back is NORMAL, and wonders why the hell would i go anywhere w/out it!!!

Lastly

YEAH JOHNNY had a comment-- and i thought "Johnny" was too one dimensional as well as i wrote it. Why?, you ask?
Appropriately--

It is because I knew, as did my colleagues know, so many who didn't get out of the building. I was that night in 2001 at U2 with my good buddy at Madison Square Garden looking for a bunch of names, like Danny, Joe, David, Mike, Mike, Todd, Tim, Chris, John, JOHNNY, Joey, Kaleen, Don, Ted, and it goes on and on---and i couldn't see most of the names because my eyes were just covered in tears-- sad about what had happened, but to be sharing this moment with people who had lost so much seemed like i was in the right place.
As Bono said, "We'll SEE them all when we get home".

Peace
TT

Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

Hello Jamaica!!! YA MAN ESTHELLA, Spain

2007-10-22T02:35:00.001-04:00

So, i looked in my ipod to see my list of Reggae, and was slightly disappointed i only had bob marley and ziggy.

The best i know, but "everyone" knows them and i always like to get "outside" the box

Esthella, Spain, in the Albergue, and coming downstairs for breakfast with my backpack al ready to start the day (dio!!)

This albergue has a nice foyer and eating room where all the pilgrims are eating breakfast (bread and jelly and cafe), and wouldn't you know it but the albergue keeper has his mini-stereo on, and i find my self entering the foyer from the stairs bouncing to "Get Up, Stand Up"--

And now my last night "on fire" feet are feeling light as air as i walk out the door to another song-

This song always makes me dance(hence the light feet that were previously on fire), and now, literally, it's making me cry too!!!!!

I don't want to wait in vain for you love--And i'm bouncing on the Camino......... I don't wanna i don't wanna i don't wanna WAIT in vain

I'm quite sure we're not(waiting in vain)

Peace and good morning (especially you, OA)

Tt

"I don't want to

Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

Into the mystic

2007-10-21T16:17:00.001-04:00

And we sailed "IntoThe Mystic"

Van Morrison

"We were born before the wind
But so younger than the sun"

WHO WRITES STUFF LIKE THIS--???

Well, that's where i was today--- exhausted, and sailing "into the mystic"!!!!!! My feet wish i was already there, but my mind senses that this experience is just beginning to evolve.

Jesus, Bhudda, Allah, Yahweh, "finding" the "self", inter-religious connectivity-- it was all part of my walk today--- it goes very deep and challenges me to ask myself questions that i have time for on the Camino!!!! Mystical......

I find trying connect myself, with my limited but growing spanish vocabulary, and the folks who speak a little french, a little english, a lot of spanish, some danish---it's kinda like putting all the world's religions in one basket and expecting them to "get it" and understand one another right away. Well, that's where we are on the Camino!!! The walk is good, although late in the day my age starts to show, but one of the girls from Korea said i look "smaller"!!!! Totally unsolicited, so that felt good after sweating for 5/6/7 days straight.. I have lost track of time, but my watch has "days"-- again, change my way of thinking-- running marathons i had every mile "indexed" with it's time!!!!! Now i can't even clock a kilometer!!!

I'm on the Camino as a pilgrim, student, father, husband, music fan extraordinaire, world citizen!!!!and my conversations involve each one of these roles!!! And more. It's fascinating, at least to me-- I understand it's not for everyone, or "not everyone's cup of tea, but for some unexplainable reason i am very comfortable on the Camino.
I lived on the metro in Paris for four days in 1981, and I searched for housing in Seattle in 1979 for two days, so this is a longer and more developed version of those experiences. As i am older, it might be more challenging mentally, but i am just going with the flow!!!!

It's amazing, it is. To think had I started a day earlier, or a month earlier, my experience, my dialogue, the people i've met, the thoughts i've had--- they would all be totally different but for the one day i did start!!!!!! I'll never meet the people who did this in July, and they'll never meet me--- and i feel that i have met some very special, sincere, caring, and thoughtful people!!! But no two people's experience on this trip can possibly be the same----as Jean-Pierre said, you are never lost, as it is your own path, no one else's.

Back to world religions--- this is a historically "catholic" walk (1200 years historic), but there all walks of life here, and many are in "search" of their "self" , or "deeper self", to know themselves better--- what better way to do that than to travel, walk, and reflect. I find the spiritual conversation stimulating, as i'm getting perspectives from the young (so far) and i'm sure i will from the old..... The "truck" that snores is danish and older and speaks english well so that should be interesting--his nephews live in Cincinnati!!!

I walk alone, with people, alone, rest, catch up with people--- etc--- we're all heading the same way--some of us are here for a week and will come back, some of us here to go to Santiago, and some have no particular destination---and you reading this have your own path you're following as well, your "camino"-

It's a "potpourri" (french-- what's the spanish word for that??)

Potpourri of:

Spiritual dialogue
Religious tradition
National heritage
Pace of walk

I'm one of the slower ones, which allows me to.....

Sail into the mystic, quite peacefully

Peace
Tt

Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

Short- I promise!!!!

2007-10-20T11:28:00.000-04:00

First, last night in the albergue there was a TRUCK parked in one of the beds not far from mine. It was Pamplona so the albergue was larger and comfortable, and lights were out at 10:30. At 10:35 the TRUCK started blowing it's loud HORN....+HONK....HOONNKKK......HONNJNKKKKTTTJJHHK---RRRUGHOOONKKK-- i don't know the truck's name, but i got out of my top bunk (which was painful to do with my stiff legs), retrieved my IPOD and put on a friends "Walk" playlist tailored made for me to SILENCE the truck. 3am and a good sleep later i notice the playlist is over and i've been sleeping like a baby (thanks MM!!!!).
So, the IPOD got some use, and ear plugs are a MUST.

Today on the trail-
My body is asking my mind a question--WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON DOWN THERE IN THEM LEGS---

We're use to soft treadmills for 45 minutos max!!!!!!

And My thumbs (their typing this) have a question too---

"So, Tom, what's up? For over one year you use us sparingly on a plane for hours straight, but the rest of the time it's hunky dory--- NOW four days straight of constant typing--Tom, What's UP??? We're going to have to go to thumb exercise class if this keeps up-

Well, me, myself and I held a meeting today on my 8 hour walk and the thumbs will be getting a break, but not the legs.

I guess i had a bunch of pent up capacity that my free time on the Camino tapped into--- but now, as somewhat expected, it's the inward me that's getting more focus. It's not for words, so i can't really say what i mean (or you'd get a much longer note!!!). Perhaps I will be better able to express it later, or after, in some summary form.

For now, know that I am well, the weather is very, very good (for which I am thankful and blessed) and the walk is peaceful and, although there are a few pilgrims every now and then, we all seem to be going at our own pace and our own PATH, so most of today has been alone and contemplative--

Know also that I am thinking of you among the many thoughts I have.

And, alas, song for the day---

I've had Bob Dylan and "change my way of thinking" (the one with Mavis Staples singing) on my mind.

And today was a first---
I took a "LONG CUT" (aka Porky's the movie "short cut!!!").

Yup, i went an extra two miles out of the way to see a 12th century church that was OPEN---

And that, my friends, is a different way of thinking!!!!! For me, at least.

Happy sabedo!!!!!
Peace

TT
Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

YEAH JOHHNY

2007-10-19T16:09:00.001-04:00

YEAH JOHNNY-
It was just ONE of those day's where the only RIGHT thing to say, and all the SIGNS POINT to is "YEAH JOHNNY"!!!!!

Okay, so 4 Korean's, 2 Canadian's, 2 French, one German, and me for a traditional Korean dinner. I ran into Yeung, who is staying at the same Albergue in Pamplona--

Albergue's-- what's that mean? Well, last night I was 1 of 5 people in a pretty big room in Zirubi?, but tonight in Pamplona was #15-- and they have great showers where the water turns off every 20 seconds and you need to push it to get it back-- and YES, it's every man or woman for themselves and you best not be shy.
They have laundry facilities too!!!!!! For 1 euro you can dry your clothes too--
Which i did today since i had to hang yesterday's clothes on the outside of my backpack since they were wet--which weighed more for the morning at least!!!!

I decided i won't be sending anymore pix even though it's easy with this bbery. Bottom line, i will look the same everyday except my beard (no razor to keep my backpack as light as possible) so you've got enough pix since i have two sets of clothes that are the same-- no mauve or BRIGHT RED this time.

I'm moving inward, but my writing inspiration continues. I guess i should apologize for the basic run-on's, but i figure if you're showing up here you know #1) it's your choice and #2) i can't edit on this bbery-- yes, those emails were edited!!!!!! Slightly.
Be Clear--- i am not looking for things to write---it's just hitting me one after the other-

So--i'm the 2nd oldest at dinner, one of the korean girls is the youngest at 20, and one of the Canadian girls really has a PASSION for just being a good world citizen!!!!! The reasons for finding themselves here vary, but a number of them lean on a life-altering event (girlfriend breakups, other undescribed etc--). me, i tell them I am just blessed to be here and share the moment).

I had my first conversation in english today (the Canadian world citizen), and my languages alternates between french/english/spanish so much i find it hard to think straight. Okay, i'm in spain, and i'm focused on espanol, but then i meet the frenchmen and oohh lala--- i've got frenglespanol going!!!

TODAY on the TRAIL NOTES--
Life on the camino today was so peaceful-- awake 7am outside and it was still dark at the other foot (eastern) of the mountains and the North Star was above very bright, and an hour later the sun was barely peaking as we started our walk. Antonio (brasil), Zues (barcelona) and i commenced our walk to Pamplona. And a pleasant, enjoyable, peaceful, and moderate hills trail it was (thank you GOD!!!!- ("TO THE MORNING" by Dan Fogelberg, with full symphony is playing in my mind). Zues is helping me enormously with my spanish, and we go at it for 15 minutes then silence for an hour as everyone goes at their own pace--unplanned, unscheduled, and relaxed.

Pamplona--- our destination, will take us from radically unspoiled almost medieval pueblo's to a bustling Spanish city-- but when i get here i remember the pictures of the bulls in the streets every July, and i know that the city within the city is still here--small cavernous type streets walled in--

Pamplona, during my walk, knowing that's the destination, the first thing that comes to mind is that i am familiar with someone who was severely hurt "running with the bulls" a few summers ago. Accidents, tragedies, innocent human error-- it's all part of life.

I'm thinking of those people who i know have been affected/afflicted by these things (that individual as well)and have had to react and respond to these unfortunate wrong place/wrong time bad events. Life is what you make it, but life is truly what you make it when you've almost lost it and now what you knew before is gone and what's to come is unknown---- i know many who've responded to circumstances of life with a degree of phenomenal human spirit that belies the mind!!!!!! YOU know who you are!!!!!

I pray, in Pamplona, for those who are in that predicament, that they continue to have that strength and I am thinking of them today on my walk.. I also pray I never have to face those challenges and burdens, but should they fall I upon me I ask God for the strength these stricken people have shown.
I prayed the rosary today while thinking this. THE ROSARY!!! My Grandmother on my Mom's side use to sit in her room at night (our house in Toms River, it's 1968) and have a stack of prayer cards and rosary beads. Hours, and then she'd' go to sleep.
So, remembering that, and also remembering to bring the Rosary beads blessed by the Pope in Rome that i bought last December (dropping names-- Fr. Kev would have been just fine for me) --So i've got two "relics" or whatever secular term you would like-- I've got rosary beads, and I've got my WWJD bracelet
So, the beads came in handy because i brought a sheet to remind me how to do the rosary!!!! OH, i forgot i've got the St Christopher (traveler's guide) medal that was a gift!! And the bracelet came in timely because.....another DIGRESSION

Story
--- coincidental that Ihave my WWJD bracelet with me, as i haven't worn it in a few years--but wore it for 10+ years-who knows why?
Anyway, maybe it's because someone sent me a note with very similar letters in it just last week--or maybe not? my wife let on through her super-secret email to me that WWTD (HER WORDS and her note-- the T for TOMMY) had something to do with her deciding to go to the concert, for her, at least, "what would tommy do" had a kinda "guilt" affect, but in the end she made her choice-- and i learned that the other two friends aslo had plenty of excuses NOT to go-- but now they will be talking about wednesday for the rest of their lives!!!!!

Much like me and the boys from St. Joe's in Toms River think about Birmingham (England, not Alabama) in May, 1999.

Memories, MAKE THEM OR MISS THEM!!!

So, i can't wear the bracelet as it would be pure sweat!! So it hangs in the backpack with the beads and St. Christopher-- how bout him-- responsible for getting everyone traveling everywhere yet he doesn't have a country or a Camino like St James--rough allocation policy up there in Heaven!!!---

I am eating like a horse, and sweating like a pig!!!!!!!(Only animal i haven't seen so far is a pig!!)

And that brings me to James Michener-- he did the Camino in 1965 for the 2nd time after he had a severe heart attack, and decided that before he died he'd' like, if he got out of that hospital room, to go back to Santiago, Spain. And he did-- it's all in his book, last chapter, Iberia.
Writers galore here.

And that brings me to YEAH JOHNNY.
And seeing the signs.
Life is always talking to us--- we just need to be good listeners.

My head has WALK ON by U2 spinning, but not the whole song, just the ending the way U2 did it in the MSGarden in late 2001, when they scrolled the names of the 9/11 victims--
"ALLE ALLE--- ALLE ALLELULIA"!!!

YEAH JOHNNY !!! About 5 people know what/who i'm refering to---
And it hits me--- i was trying to see all the names i knew at that concert---- but I only saw one--and missed the rest-- and at the time it was just my angle etc---and now i think no, THEY were all busy making sure someone saw!!!!! And i just got lucky-or did I?

You have to see the signs-- (natalie merchant-"These are Days")

They'll be something in here for you if you're here--- how can i be sure???
I'm not--

But's it like "you're never lost" on the Camino--

And THESE ARE DAYS to remember

And Bono's last words are....

"I'll see you when I get home"

Yes you will, says Johnny!!!
And I pray I, and all of you, do just that.

Peace
Tt

Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

From the bridge into Arre, near Pamplona

2007-10-19T08:28:00.000-04:00

Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

Philosophy

2007-10-18T16:02:00.000-04:00

Bold title, huh?
Sorry, but i'm at it again-- wish i could control this-- my guess is a more inward me will evolve as i get "into" the walk-- but for now i continue to overflow with things to share----

Written now without a backpack on, so i'm light on my feet!!! Watch out!!!!
Okay, so i have my own life philosophy, i was thinking. You know, yesterday, when i was totally lost in the mountains of Spain!!!!!! I didn't feel LOST. I had so much emotion and feeling going into that first day, and it kinda all poured out, both in my note and on the mountain. Why? Who knows? That's like asking WHY ARE YOU Walking 500+ Miles in Spain!!! I just am.
Anyway, i never felt lost, and i had a great, great first day-- fortunately ended by a nice farmer bringing us all the way back to where we started.
I forgot to tell you when i arrived back my host Jean-Pierre asked me what happened? I said "perdu", i got lost and so did the guy from Brasilia, and we found each other and came back here via auto.

He said something that struck me, as i think it might strike you-- "on the Camino you are NEVER lost, just on the road to wherever you go toward Santiago!!!!!! You are NEVER lost!!!!!

Thought that was a pretty cool ending to my first day--- a great day it was. It got me to thinking whe i was walking today about how i was totally lost, yet all was fine. Yes, i'd have eventually, had i not run into antonio, prayed a car came by and took me anywhere but that mountain. And also about how we all, sometimes, feel lost-- but we are never really lost, or alone. But the day itself felt pretty good.

And then philosophy, the word, came into my mind. I was on Socrates, Plato, Jon Stuart Mill (On Liberty), Thoreau, and of course Emerson's "Self-Reliance"---- and i thought why hadn't i ever written a treatise on my own "philosophy'"?? I've clearly have one--
So why don't i put it into a simple phrase/words-- yeah, just like those other guys who are so easy to understand, i'll just espouse it out and it will be there for all to know.
Okay, here it goes---

TT TREATISE; "Never, ever, miss an opportunity"!!!!!

Shall i elaborate or end it right here? Let me digress-- so you all know Bruce played the Garden last night (wednesday, 10/17-- i finally feel like i know what day it is, although that is the least important thing in my world right now).
Anyway, digression continued--
Story goes-- you know Allie was going with her boyfriend Jack to see Bruce, and he won tix to be backstage and meet Little Steven--Liz also had tickets, but was tired and weary and out at Matt's soccer game (since I'm in Spain walking) and thinking about BAGGING it-- and then, merely by the knowledge she would be telling me she had "bagged it", or maybe just because she decided for herself, she determined that she shouldn't miss this!!!! And she went with some good friends.
NEXT THING YOU KNOW!!!!! Okay, so, one choice she's home in her comfy bed hanging out watching whatever on TV (not sports since I'm in SPAIN), and the other choice is, seemingly, a BRUCE concert. Heck, she was just at one in Philly on 10/5th, whats the big deal???---most people would say.-- Go ahead BAG it!!! It's like the angel and the devil in Animal House!!!
"D'" Don't go, you're tired.
"A" What are you, kidding me, get you're but into NYC right this minute.

ANGEL WON!!!!! WELL, she's in the front pit with two of her friends exactly five people from the stage, and of course Tony aka Soprano is off tot the right+-oh, and is that BONO in the 4th row right? and guess who's next to the stage???? Her daughter (and mine) Allie, as Jack had worked his radio winnings into front pit tickets..

SO, how does BORN TO RUN feel from 6 or 12 feet!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Priceless--- THAT's the COST of opportunity LOST!!!! You can't put a price on that night!!!!! I can't!!!!!
One minute your driving on route 80 going straight into night, and the next!!!!!!!!

And that's what i think. Everyday, there is ENORMOUS OPPORTUNITY to have a fulfilling, gratifying day, right there for the taking.

What??? Money's the issue? Time's the issue? Responsibilitie's the issue??
Take a walk in spain-- the hostel i'm in tonight is 6 euros!!!! Time??? More on that in a minute--and yes, we have responsibilities and all i'm saying is blend them INTO your passion.
I'm not saying there aren't choices to make--- THERE ARE, and my TREATISE is YOU (AND I) need to make them-- daily.

DIGRESSION ENDS!!!!

Okay, so Mill "on liberty"-- cool enough and freedom is great!!!!!
Emerson--- think i'm weird, don't spend any time on this guy!!!! But read "self-reliance" for fun.
All these great thinkers, all the thoughts in the world---

It all comes down to you and your passion, ZEST for life. 524,600 minutes a year!!!!! 86,000+ seconds a day!!!!!!! What's the commercial say??? This is YOUR BRAIN ATTACKING LIFE at every opportunity ( as opposed to THIS is your brain on drugs or "THIS" is your brain missing opportunities!!!)

Look!!!! over there!!!!! Someone just got married, someone just had a baby, YOU just changed jobs (or your really, really thinking you need to and just dropped fear off at the parking garage)!!!!!

Passion.
If you found it, great.
Passion to seize opportunities when they present themselves.
If your searching-- many are, as i am now in search of my NEXT place to professionally apply my passion-- don't let anything except your loyalty to your loved ones get in the way.
UNIT CORE GOD COUNTRY

Rock on!!!
Song for tomorrow for me-- I'm Gonna (walk 500 miles, and i will walk 500 more)-- some Scottish group ripped this one, and i'm sure you've heard it---

"When i wake up"--
Well, i've applied the song literally, although i'm NOT quite sure i am on board for the "and i will walk 500 more"

But, if the OPPORTUNITY presents itself, you never know.

See you tomorrow from PAMPLONA!!!
Adios
Peace
Tt

Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

Photo tt & antonio

2007-10-18T08:34:00.000-04:00

Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

Espana!!!

2007-10-18T08:18:00.000-04:00

Okay, so it was only 20 miles so i made it to Spain--something i failed to do yesterday.

Mountains, mountains, mountains. Up, down, up, down, and the up takes your breath away and the down for anyone over 25 is trecherous (wet rocks/mud) and with my knee(s) i take more time going down than up!!!!
Up is physical, down is mental--incredible mental focus to not fall and tumble. Only one fall so far (on flat lands), and my walking sticks (like ski poles) have basically saved my life a few times....
Unlike yesterday, when i was on paved road/path (even when i wasn't suppose to be there!!!), today's walk is mostly on the pathways/woods/ farms. The cows moo-ing suggested to that the girl from RENT should have these cow's help "elsie" fly over the moon--"only thing to do is fly over the moon!!!!). So cow's moo-ing is mostly what i heard, and occasionally Antonio says something and i repeat something so that each of us can try to communicate-- he and i started walking today given we both saved each other last night. It's different walking with someone than alone, but not so bad for this stretch of trek of ups and downs.

Ohh!!! Almost forgot, got my picture taken outside the somewhat famous Hostal Burguette, where Hemingway hung out and apparently wrote some/most of "The Sun Also Rises". I brought the book, but there is noi time for reading, and my ipod is buried in the backpack--- it's just me, my 12.5 4XWidth right foot and my 8D left going one step at a time.... Very carefully. Yeah, 4 sizes different. How many people in the thousand years the Camino has been walked, how many people did it with two totally different size feet???? Yeah, the doctor told my mother I was one of a kind, too.

I'll leave you with that to ponder-

Peace
Tt
Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T