PIX:Just 1k into today's walk, and having finished my final note--this is what I was looking at-HERE COMEs THE SUN--- AMEN

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The BRIGHT LIGHT-REDEMPTION- and Heaven here on Earth--THE FINALE of the FINALE- THE END

I have a friend, still very much here on this earth, who told me recently, while he was hospitalized with some radical unknown stuff, that one night with all of medical sciences contraptions attached to his limbs, that he SAW the BRIGHT LIGHT---
And that for a while it "CALLED" him, and it was peaceful, and that he was under the "impression" he was DYING, and THEN, something, SOMEONE INTERVENED!!!! And said NO, GO BACK, and he was BACK--- in his hospital bed, looking like (I didn't tell him this at the time, but it's true) he "almost died"!!!!!

Guess what!!!!! He "almost" did!!!! But the bright light sent him back!!!

Thanks!!!! I like having him, and all my friends and family, around!!! It is something I have been amazingly blessed with, and it is something I feel incredibly BLESSED to have been so spared, in my own view, the extreme challenges life provides.

It brings me to REDEMPTION----

WE ALL FALL DOWN, man is quite imperfect, BUT we GET UP AGAIN

With Hope,and GRACE!!!!

We are human, so WE fall down!!!!!!
BUT WE get up again!!!!!

Thanksgiving----

My Thanksgiving-- THIS ONE!!! Is going to be quite different than the last 25 or so!!!!

I have spent them at a variety of houses (mine and others in the family!!), and its always a JOYOUS event, and my Mother-in-law plays the piano, and we ALL SING "The Impossible Dream"-- I need to look into WHY we sing this song more, to see if there is more to it than TRADITION--- but nothing wrong with tradition, if that's all it is!!!!

We have been singing it for as long as I've known my wife, and been part of "HER" family---- and now it's part of MY family tradition, except THIS year I'm a a few thousand miles away!!!

The Impossible Dream!!!!!!
To go into Hell for a Heavenly Cause!!!
To follow that QUEST--
To REACH, that UNREACHABLE STAR!!!!!

And it's from the play "The Man from La Mancha", and that's in SPAIN!!!!! So, if I'm missing Thanksgiving, at least it's TRUE to my TRADITION that I miss it in the land of Don Quixote!!!!!

CAN WE REACH that UNREACHABLE STAR????? Is it in Santiago de Compostela, St James in the 'field of the Stars'?

Is it simply the life we live where "I still haven't found what I'm looking for?". Forever????? And never FIND IT?

Or as Sugarland sings, there has GOT to be "SOMETHING MORE"
First off, if this lead singer from Sugarland had been singing in FRANCE, I THINK I'd hear her in on this side of SPAIN!!!!! She can crank it!!!

Something MORE!!!!!! Isn't that all it is!!!!

"Happiness is something WE CREATE!!!!
"Armaggedon could be knockin at my door, but I AIN't going to answer that's for SURE!!!"

Because there's GOT TO BE something MORE!!!--

And we MAKE MISTAKES, and WE FALL DOWN!!!!!

BUT, Redemption allows us the opportunity to RENEW, ReCommit, Re-Instill in our own lives our COMMITMENT to CREATE our HAPPINESS!!!!!!

To CREATE our 'Heaven' here on EARTH-----

Our Father, Who art in Heaven!!!!!!

Thy KINGDOM COME!!!!! On EARTH as it is in HEAVEN!!!!

BRING IT ON!! RIGHT HERE!!!! RIGHT NOW!!!!!!!!

I'm in most respects the "same" guy who started this camino, MY CAMINO!!! But in so many ways I'm not "quite" the same----

-"i've been places, where I question all I think I know, and I believe, I believe, THIS could be HEAVEN!!!!!"
(Tracy Chapman)

Peace, Love, and Understanding!!!!!

We could, given it's attainable, CREATE HEAVEN here on Earth!!!!

And that, simply, is MY WISH for ALL of US this THANKSGIVING

I am so thankful, and won't quite know how to contain myself, as I approach Santiago!!!!

I am most thankful for MY family, provided and given to me as a gift by my wife, Liz--- that I have three incredibly vibrant, creative, unique individuals that I call "my kids" !!!!!!

I have gratitude, sitting here contemplating I'm walking to the FINALE of my FINALE---

St James awaiting my arrival---

It looks like I will be arriving with a few pilgrims-- Josh, Rebecca (the Aussie's), Scott (NZ), and Cara (Texas) and Pepe, although Pepe ran out of Spanish Gasoline and took a bus yesterday --- so he didn't get to experience the TWO RAINBOW's I saw--which means he also missed the HAIL!!!!! Size of the hail? I'd say for about one minute it was baseball sized!!! Then went to normal size hail-then just rain!! THE COMPLETE camino experience---
Cara!!!so Cara and I were walking and since she's going to Madrid I convinced her to go to the BRUCE show Sunday night in Madrid--she says, yeah, she'll do it because she really liked Bruce the last time she saw him, in Austin Texas--- and I say to Cara--"in Austin the time they had to reschedule the show because Clarence had the eye problem??"
Well, CARA and I were at the SAME BRUCE show in AUSTIN TEXAS a few years ago, and now we are finishing the CAMINO on the same day--how bout that for coincidence!!!!

So the ground will be very wet today, but as morning breaks it looks like there are some clouds, but also some clear sky.

And the albergue was warm, so a good night sleep.

And now, it's time to finish up and start walking--

This is really it---and this is all you will read about my finale's final stage-- because TODAY, in Santiago, is NOT for WORDS--

It's like the SOPRANO's, and I've got David Chase directing, and Tony's in the diner and there are 5 probable assasin's right there with him, and ZAP--it's OVER--no finish, or not the finish one was expecting!!! -i know, Sal, it's "dead to you"

Well, it won't be that dramatic here, but the end of my Camino won't be a "blog" event-- but all the messages, the notes, the forgiveness, "What IF?", prayer lists, Why not what?, The priest on the bike with the prayer (his name was JESUS, in case you forgot), Reflections, the JUICE, a treatise, or two, and even though it's "THE END", I still SEE MY LIGHT COME SHINING THROUGH,

And I know, sitting here ready to walk the last 20 kilometers, and remembering when I had 800 kms to go!!!!!

I know, one day, WE ALL ...SHALL ... BE...RELEASED!!!!!!!

Until then, until that LIGHT comes calling, I'm going to make it MY task to go find that "Something MORE, a Happiness being something WE CREATE", ;

to be able to wake up and say
NO MORE I STILL haven't found- U2!!!!!

"I HAVE FOUND WHAT I'M LOOKING FOR!!!!!!!! And I'm going to try and find it AGAIN and AGAIN and AGAIN!!!!

With a little peace, love, and understanding, we CAN ATTAIN that goodness, that "ON EARTH as it is in HEAVEN"

It's all about our hearts, and what's in them-- when we meet the everyday man on the streets, the pilgrims on OUR Camino!!!!

I am hopeful you've enjoyed MY camino, and I'm "remembering" it all as I contemplate both the CONTENT and CONTEXT of My Camino---

I'm remembering sitting in that dorm room listening to that concert on that September night, 1978 (maybe a Tuesday, as I recall)--

And I'm thinking of ALL the things that have happened in my life from that moment to this one, a dorm room at Rutgers to an Albergue near Santiago, Spain with 8 bunk beds with four other people, and it's time to move on,

And I'm thinking that all those "things", life events, 3 kids, a woman who loves me after all this time, and all my adventures---a bunch of job's I've loved!!!! And all of the people, family, and friends that have INTERCOnNECTED to make it all so, and I'm concluding,

Right here, right now-

That's it's BEEN an IMPOSSIBLE DREAM--!!!!!!

And I've LIVED IT--!!!!!!!!

And I'm SO VERY VERY THANKFUL for the blessings that have been, and I'm looking forward to MY NEXT....

UNREACHABLE STAR!!!!!!!!!!

And wishing and praying for you to attain your's, on YOUR Camino, wherever it may take you.

Oh, and I've got JUST ONE MORE THING TO SAY!!!!!!!!

RAISE YOUR HANDS!!!!!!! ( Bruce, a live version, please)

Because Santa Claus is COMING to TOWN!!!! And this year Santa might just be a little thinner!!!!

Next "unreachable star", YOU'RE UP!!!!
BRING IT ON!!!!

Amen.
The END!!!!

Peace
TT


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THINGS- 50k AWAY!!!

TIME TO WONDER

I was thinking of what is very abundant on the Camino?

1) Animal poop!!!! All kinds!! With all kinds of different scents!! And following up on that is the numerous farm fields seeded with a healthy dose of fertilizer---the walk is on paths, through forests, in open air spaces, and at any time away from the city you might run into a small herd of cows or lambs!!!

2) Cigarettes and cigarette smoke--everywhere you turn, in the villages or the cities, it is clear why tobacco companies will never suffer a recession in Spain!!!!--- I have adjusted to it, but I am very thankful that in the US people can't smoke where I'm eating, where I sleep, -- almost everywhere inside I go except a casino--

So much of both---

So that's an observation I don't think I've made yet!!! But the farms, the animals, the bars, the cigarettes--
They are part of "my camino", and at times they dominate the scent of my walk!!!

People/pilgrims- on the camino-- sometimes very prevalent, sometimes you see no one!!!

BREAD-- is everywhere, and it's very good-- and after 6 or 7 hours of walking you're hungry for carb's, and bread with soup, bread bocadillo's, bread alone-- I think I've eaten MORE BREAD in the last 30 days than I have in the last two years-- and very fortunately for me I am burning more calories than I consume--

Had I had a "diet" focus I would have brought a dietician and physiologist with me for morning yoga and gotten my fruits, veggies, eggs, and soups to dominate my diet--- but I'll worry about that when I get home. That would have been a different, and less free, camino.

Who is the Camino for?

Well, first off, you have to want the Camino--either be called to it or just plain "ready for adventure"--i have had a rolling group of friends based on the day, one's health, the weather, etc-- one day it's the Spanish teacher, one day it's Pepe and Spanish Gasoline!!!

But I thought about it, and I think there is no limit, or limitations, for qualifying for the Camino!!!!

YOU CAN DO IT!!!! If you want-
And it's not for "everybody", but it is certainly for "ANYBODY" who WANTS it!!!

For instance, the Camino is for those who have many choices and paths, and want to reflect on those paths--
And try and figure out which path to take (although TShea's advice on not taking the path where the bridge has fallen down is duly noted).

The Camino is also for those with no where else to turn, with no path-- the CAMINO is here for those people, too!!

I've met people from both avenues and following both paths---

How did I make it this far--how do any of us?

Despite our inner confidence it isn't all YOU or ME!!!!

The camino is marked-- with yellow arrows, brick stands with scallop shells (st james symbol), in pavement with scallop shells, Yellow arrows--etc-
And then there are the pilgrim made "arrows" with rocks, the man-made crosses---

And there aren't too many of these waymarks, but they kinda of appear JUST WHEN you think you're lost!!!! (Except that first day for me when I was in lala land and wasn't familiar enough with these guideposts).

And I'm thinking of words I have received since arriving, from friends, that have crystallized, enhanced, or clarified very unclear things in my mind!!!!!

For instance, I heard that Stevie Wonder played MSG in NY last week-- and at one point he just blurted out, in between songs, Stevie Wonder says "GIVE UP THE HATE and MOVE ON, people!!!"-- and I'm thinking HEY, THAT's WHAT I've been saying!!!!
Isn't it? Thanks, Stevie!!!!

And this other comment has stuck with me since I read it, and it's a I "wish" I said that, but I'm GLAD someone did--!!
TShea said "but, the right to think that world goodness is attainable is not only God-given, but God-inspired. If we all try to make people's lives better, we WILL"

I agree!!!! #1; it is attainable, this WORLD GOODNESS--i've seen it many times on my camino!!! #2; it is an exceptionally worthy calling to wake up and have as your purpose to help this world attain goodness.

And many others have been helpful to me as I have "evolved"--

And one friend sent me a note and wished me luck "unpacking" from this trip, and he said he expected the "unpacking" would take a LONG TIME--
People, it's not about the clothes in the backpack!!!! ( I mean, two sets of clothes that have been overworn for 30-40 days, with chances much of what was brought and worn will be deemed unusable back home!!)

How long will it take me to UNPACK? To unwind, to evolve the discoveries of this walk? I don't know, but I suggest it will be a very, very long time before I am truly UNPACKED--

And that brings me to a final thought on something there is an abundance of, or was, in my case given I am a mere two days from Santiago!!!

What's that, you ask?

Appropriately--

It is, the abundance of TIME--- WOW, a discovery I'm glad I realize during the walk instead of after--- I have been BLESSED with TIME, and I hope I am respecting that blessing enough on this Camino, my Camino.

It has, and will be for quite some time, a TIME like no other in my life, including the other parts of what I refer to as my sabbatical--

My TIME TO WONDER
Fury and the Slaughterhouse(the band)--quite a name for a band from Germany, eh!!!
TIME To WONDER

"We move in seconds in a world of hours and days" (that's this century, in centuries of old on this walk the world moved in WEEKS and MONTHS)

The song questions our "right to wonder" given all the demands on our time!!!! and the reality and illusions we live within--

Well, no illusions, I have WONDERED!!! And it is "pura maravilla" !!!!!!! "Simply marvelous" in english!!!!

Wishing you, and yours, a WONDER WONDERFUL THANKSGIVING!!!!!

And the TIME, this Thanksgiving, to do some WONDERing of your own---

Peace, 50k away

TT

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"Almost There"

Jersey Shore image---

Image of a roller coaster, that takes 30+ days to get to the apex, the top, and then one day it sits just there, on the precipice, and then the final day the coaster commences it's descent and climax, and everyone on the ride is SCREAMING with excitement through that quick but incredible finale!!!!
"It takes "seconds" to fall!!!!"

We are "almost" (I say we because if you're still with me, reading, then you've got a part of this experience, at least the part I can communicate with words and as best as I can do it-- (extreme limitations both on my talent and the parts that fit to words)

We are "almost" at the precipice, but not quite--
Portomarin-- last night's town, has a huge, tall bridge that highlights how little rainfall there has been in Galacia, and Spain in general, over the last month. Go to the web if you're interested, as it's NEWS here-- again, they have yet to come looking for the pilgrim with his "angels", but they are starting to get a bit restless over the weather--it's a topic in the bars-etc-- I tell them "only a few more days" and then you'll have more rain than you'll need!!!!

Statistics--
I've gone through the 100k to go mark, and as of tonight there appears to be 90-95 kilometers to go, depending on who you rely on.
We started with 800 kilometers to go in St. Jean Pied-de-Port,---that was FRANCE!!!! And traversed most of Northern Spain (still got some to go!!)
Anyway, my guidebook has 310 pages, and I'm on page 284--- the Camino, this "roller coaster ride", has 4 walking days left--Mon, Tues, Wed, Thursday-- Thursday, God willing, I will arrive in Santiago!!!! Friday-Sunday I will walk to Finisterre and finish the Camino Frances at the end of the world (1492).

I'm on my way-- and I'm "Almost There"-- it's an album by "Mercy Me"-- and there are plenty of good songs on it-- but "On My Way To You" is the one I am key-ing in on with tonights themes--

"Almost there, almost where I'm suppose to be,
It's not all clear, but You keep showing me,
With every step, the more my heart moves to your beat,
Just like where I'm headed, there's joy in the journey,

"As I'm on my way to you"

And there has been immense joy in my journey, and each day it's never quite clear, but becomes clearer, and while I know I am physically walking, I am also spiritually watching, searching, seeking the path that is meant for me-- and here I am (oop's, that's a song on that album too!!!"Here I am") so close to the destination and yet at peace with what has been revealed and not concerned with what will or won't be discovered over the next days/week.

It will be what it will be, and God willing, and but for the grace of God, go I-- closer and closer----

And NOW it's Monday night, and another 16 miles (27k closer) as we arrive in Palas de Rei!!!!

I mean, 3 nights from now, about mid-day thanksgiving for you, I will arrive in Santiago!!!!

Today, Monday, the old saying "you CAN'T have RAINBOW's without the RAIN came into play--

Rain pants, rain cover for backpack, rain EVERYWHERE!!! Okay, so I'm HAPPY it's raining, as I'm sure ALL pilgrims need to deal with it, and I would have been cheated to have gotten through Galacia without RAIN!!!!! And the region NEEDS rain, as any Spanish news tells me---

I'm thinking how did Jesus and his Apostle's deal with the elements--- "yes, we'll take the gore-tex treated raingear, please, with our sandals"!!!!

Almost, almost there, but it takes quite long each day!!! But it continues to be fulfilling and uplifting all in one---

Was thinking "who'll stop the rain", but I didn't need it to stop!!!

Then that got me thinking freedom, and finale, and "Fortunate Son", and Creedance Clearwater!!!!

But the walk is so long, and wet, and evolved, I just have to let it be that I'm ALMOST THERE!!!!!

I had a conversation about the "WHAT" the right "CHURCH would be-- one that would welcome all, regardless of their faults, one that would embrace those that have made mistakes, one that was inspirational, uplifting, allowed clergy to be celibate or married, as they choose---wow, pretty big "wish list" for this world!!!

Anyway, I just professed my simple "it's out there, you got to find it" philiosophy--- and yes, it needs to find you-- I mean, every Sunday morning Joel pack's them in down in TEXAS!!!! 30,000 strong!!!! And all the empty seats at many masses in Jersey!!! Anyone asking WHY???

Well, it can get quite complicated, this type of discussion, so we leave it that we are ALL (about 8-10 pilgrims on today's route) ALMOST there, and that it "looks" like this will be the group of people I "experience" SANTIAGO with!!!!

I am hoping Simona catches us, and any of my other friends I haven't seen in a few days.

I am also hoping all my wet stuff dry's for the morning---

Peace

TT
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The Aussie's// and Pontevedra

So, did I tell you about the Aussie's who found each other on the Camino, after one of them searched facebook!!!! And realized someone else was here that he might want to meet-- so Josh, a chef, 21 yrs old, found Rebecca (26) on facebook and they realized they were a day apart-- too bad Josh didn't know Rebecca was with Scott from New Zealand--- but it's all good on the Camino-- so Rebecca is a stewardess--on A YACHT ( a very big one owned by a famous person!!) So that's her "job"!!!!
And she looks the part, which my guess is how Josh "found" her on facebook. And Scott is a chef on a less famous boat, but that's in the summer--in the winter he cooks at a house in the French Alps!!! Again, his JOB!!!! And Josh is walking the camino and then he's going to find a JOB!!!! Like Rebecca's or Scott's!!!! Unless of course he finds another Rebecca first!!!!

Okay, so here we are, walking along and I'm thinking about the "coincidence" of me meeting a group of students studying tourism from "Pontevedra"--

You see, I know Pontevedra--- as in Ponte Vedra, Florida--- in fact, I have been told there is a grade school classroom in Florida that is "praying" for me!!!!! I've been told all this, and then I meet the girls from Pontevedra, Spain, and I tell them there is this great place with the same name in Florida. And as an aside, I recommend the boys in Florida, when they get a bit older, visit the town with their namesake in Spain!!!
Okay, that aside, let's get to the classroom ----

So here I am praying for my list of people and everything else that I can think of, and I've got a class praying for me-- and some music comes to me that might allow that class to appreciate my appreciation.

The first song is "That Extra Mile" by the Winans with R. Kelly.

Okay, so I'm in Samos, next to the Monasterio, and we have gone an EXTRA 4 miles out of our way so we can 1) see the Monasterio, which is closed and 2) to walk the path less travelled, and more peaceful--

And it is peaceful, but we go EXTRA miles--- and this song, played loud, reinforces in one the knowledge that there is someone (SOMEONE!!!) who will go that extra mile for you-- because HIS love goes on and on--

So, class, keep that in mind, when you've got a long way to go, that you've always got SOMEONE there
with you---

And don't be afraid to THINK BIG---
I mean HUGE--MASSIVE--especially when someone tells you "you can't"!!, or "you're not talented enough" or "qualified" or "fall short" in some way, shape, form or measure---maybe it will take the form of a rejection letter from a college!!! I like those the best!!!! It's OKAY!!! Just think BIGGER than THEM!! And keep on GOING FOR IT!!

LIKE why go for a "walk in the park", when you can do the WHOLE "CAMINO de SANTIAGO"!!! Yeah, Big like THAT, or bigger!!!!

Okay, and the second song that I thought of is "All Over Me" by a band called "Benjamin Gate"-- you might need some help finding it, but there is a cool music video with this song--

It's all about Jesus' love being "all over me"--- but it's way cool, and I would prefer anyone who seeks it out listen to it quite LOUD!!!!

Okay, so class in Florida-- you're assignment!!!! Get the work finished 5 minutes early two days in a row this week (hey, it's thanksgiving so it should be a light week anyway)
And one of the techie kids with an ipod and player please get these songs so they can be played--and you can appreciate MY APPRECIATION--

Because, we can all use a little help going that mile, or EXTRA MILE, as the case may be!!!!

Peace, no where near PonteVedra, Florida, and not really that close to Pontevedra, Spain either, but a lot closer to Santiago than when I started

Peace
TT


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Inward Bound

Stars
Girl from Texas
Inward Bound
Octopus for LUNCH
ORUJO!!!!

Stars!!!!

I forgot to tell you that I slept next to a window on one of those starry nights, where the moon is low and the stars shine bright-- it was at the albergue in Astorga--come to think of it I don't recall many albergue's with windows-- very bright lights at 7am, but no windows.

Anyway, I was noticing the window, and the stars above (without my glasses on) when I noticed one star radically brighter, so bright I put my glasses on to make sure it wasn't something else-- and no, it was just a bright light in the sky, peering down on me, and me up at it, knowing that it had some connection to this Camino-
Santiago de Compostela in english is translated as "St. James in the field of Stars". So I saw my first star (again, most nights I'm in bed so early I never look outside).

I met the girl from Texas-- remember I said I was told there was someone from TX--- well I met Cara tonight--San Antonio, took a CARGO SHIP to Spain (two weeks), and is walking the whole camino, so my first American doing the whole trip. 29 yrs old and really loved her two weeks on the ship-- with 30 or so crew and a girl from Poland and her!! And now the camino as well.

My body's natural position is LAYING DOWN-- I have determined this last night in the albergue in Sarria as I had been sitting, etc, during dinner but laying down in bed and stretching the body told me that the only natural recovery for a body, and foot pads, that walk 7 hours a day is to LAY DOWN-- despite one month of this, every night I reach a level of fatigue, and pain, that makes it seem that it's the first night of this experience. The difference between the first night and now is I actually recover fully by morning, as gravity doesn't own me when I am laying down!!!!

Inward bound--- I was wondering why they call "outward bound" "outward", because I know their real objective is "inward". It's very similar on this trip. We walk with nature (and sometimes in small cities, like last night in Sarria-- I wasn't mentally prepared for a small city after such a majestic walk the last two days---)

Anyway, inward bound-- the external event of walking, on the camino is one aspect of the trip-- the other aspect of the trip is what happens, should one be open to it, on the inside-- in ones thoughts, mind, heart and soul---

I guess some people do the camino with merely touristic type objectives--- I guess-- but for me, knowing some of the history of this walk, the 1200 years it has existed, the countless pilgrims that have taken on the mountains, the weather, the elements, for the saving of their own soul, it seems to me to degrade the walk to have as your primary objective to "see the camino"--but I won't be judgmental--- I bet anyone who starts out thinking one thing allows it to evolve with each step, as I have, such that whatever YOU THOUGHT you were getting yourself into becomes something so MUCH MORE than you imagined--- hey, "it's just a walk", right???? RRRIIIGGGHHTTT!!!

I know why I'm here, and that's enough for me--

Where am I, right now, speaking of this "inward bound" person?

I am at lunch after a solid morning 10am- 1:30pm of walking-- we crossed the barrier where Santiago is LESS THAN 100 kilometers away--

Lunch, since I am with Pepe, is traditional Galacian fare-- and we have moved from Red Wine to white, and it's no jamon & queso!!! Today we have octopus, a Galacian specialty!!! For lunch, with some soup, and not typical of me but very typical of Pepe, we have wine (white wine for the first time in Spain for me--but we are now in the area of where fishing is primary, so white will be very prevalent, I am told).

Anyway, as a courtesy the Restaurante has offered the "house" ORUJO as the after lunch digestif--- what is ORUJO? You ask? I would say it is "Spanish GASOLINE"!!! In achohol form!!!! But fortunately, they have a "lightweight" version called Orujo Herbal, which I can actually drink without my body shaking.
It is not uncommon in bars for breakfast to see Cognacs and beers aside cafe's!!!! Or a little cafe con Orujo!! ladies and gentleman, START YOUR ENGINES!!!!!

So, we are less than 100k, less than 62 miles, and almopst four days away from Santiago!!!! I've been walking for over a month, and with each step now I try to stay within myself, knowing that God willing I will arrive in Santiago to celebrate Thanksgiving like never before--but I have much walking to do, and I need to continue to let my mind, my heart, and my soul go where they might over these days so not to rush Santiago, or Finistere!!!!

And the Orujo Herbal has settled in, and hopefully won't slow me down too much for the last 9k of today--

And I go back outside, which will allow me to go back inside as well--

Inward bound, all the while my feet take me forward!

I am sure there will be a song that can express my enthusiasm for this part of Spain, the people, and the Orujo!!! But I'm going to need to let that Orujo work its way and get back to you on the musical expression for Spanish Gasoline--

For now,
Peace, from Ferreiros, 98k away from the field with the Stars

Peace,
TT

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PIX:From the TOP-- the white stuff in the distance are clouds!!!!

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Friday, glorious Friday

The most spectacular day on the Camino, physically and naturally.

It appears I am on top of the world, like I am 5000 feet above the hill where Julie Andrews sings "the hills are alive, with the sound of music"!!!! Yes, that's it!!!! I have a vista that looks out for miles and miles, from O'Cebreiro, an enclave tucked into the a moutaintop. The few pilgrims here ask "what time did we get in" and how did we find it in the dark--- I explain we got lucky---

So now it's morning, and the albergue in O'Cebreiro was OUTSTANDING-- about 6/7 people in a room with 100 beds, so plenty of space, but even more important it was heated!!!! And warm-- so sleeping was great (last night in Villafrance I had the sleeping bag zipped up around my head!!!-but that place, those people, and their homecooked meal will always be a fond memory for me--did I tell you Kelty is staying there--at the albergue the family runs in Villafrance--yes, she has decided to stay for as long as it seems good and help out around the albergue welcoming the daily flow of pilgrims--kelty, the 21 year old Canadian--going with her flow on "her" camino!!!!

Okay, so it's morning in O'Cebreiro, and its freezing but the sky is BLUE!!! Headband ear muffs, ski gloves, jackets zipped, orange fleece fully engaged--i'm ready for what is advertised as a "downhill" walk after yesterday's up up up hill!!!

And the wind is howling, and I'm thinking what do these folks do when it snows-- they don't go anywhere --but if I counted right there are 10 houses and 5 bars!!!!! So I think they are ready for winter when it comes--

And we start our walk and back to the vista's, the views!!! They just don't stop-- and about halfway thru this day I realize that todays walk, on paths, past the perigrino monument, above all the valleys below, is truly the most picturesque walk on my entire camino--- that's it, today is the #1 picturesque day!!!!! And the weather to make it so, because if its cloudy and snowing or rainy then the views and the day, and my enjoyment of them, is different--

They say the weather in northern Spain hasn't been this dry, this lack of rain, in 50 YEARS!!!!! I wonder who that pilgrim was that time!!!!!

And now we are close to today's destination, but we run into a group of about 20 students who are studying tourism from PonteVedra, Spain!!! And me being an American is unique and interesting and so the conversation starts!!!

And they are walking the camino for one day and one night as part of their class--- people tell me this part of the Camino gets frequented by the "weekend" walkers--- okay, and now here is a second group of students not connected with the first, and now I'm a bit worried the albergue's will be full in TriaCastella-- and sure enough, when they get there they ARE FULL- so Pepe and I and a few other pilgrims are in the pension for the night-- warm shower so no problem!!!!

And the day comes to a close, and we are closing in, and getting near, the highlight of the trip---

I mean, there are some beautoful views and the physical natural beauty is quite something, and I did see leaves during the walk, too!!!!

So, this camino has it all, but I am wondering more about whether one can see between the lines, in between each word, for the things I can't express with words--

I'm not sure how to say it, other than there is so much here that words just can't, won't capture---

That's the part of the Camino I continue to unfold----it's just about adding up the totality of it all and knowing that what I was, who I am, and where I've been and where I'm going are all so different now--hey, I know, it's just walk!!!!

Well, I'll try and remember that--

From Samos, Spain, sitting on a brick, next to the Monasterio de Samos, with half of Saturday behind me, and a glorious, blue sky and of course, sunshine on my shoulders--

Looks like I am leaving the mountains, but I don't go by the book anymore-
One foot in front of the other!!!

Peace
TT
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later Thursday-and -YOU'VE got a friend

I am walking the longest and most challenging ascent of the Camino, from VillaFranca to O'Cebreiro--it's 20 miles (32kms), and the altitude will go from 1500 feet to approx 5000 feet -- and I am taking this on for most of the day while I await news on Jake--news I get about 85% through and get good news that jake seems much better-- and that allows me to relax a touch, and I've only got 5k left to do (all uphill, but the last 10k has been uphill too), and we run into Manuel!!!!!!

Pepe, my new friend on the Camino since the last night in Villafranca, and I run into Manuel. Pepe, from the island of Ibiza, Spain, and Manuel get along so well that Manuel insists we sit and have some wine-- FOR TWO HOURS- we do this, and when we tell him we still have more to walk he is quite sorry to see us go--and keeps pouring from his jug!!!!

These small towns, and the genuine, relaxed, and comfortable people within these towns, are things I am truly taking to heart. I say town, but it's a pueblo, a "village"-- maybe 50-100 people live in these villages. And all the farm animals-- these people grow and farm what they eat-- chickens, cows, pigs, lamb, etc--it's all local and fresh!!!! Genuine--like it's easy to see their heart--or soul, if you are open to seeing it.

We talk of many things, but eventually our talk gets to the "two GREATEST commandments--"Love the Lord God with all your heart, soul, and mind, and Love your neighbor as yourself"-- and the discussion revolves around how hard, sometimes, one finds it hard to love "yourself". And if you don't love yourself, your outward love can be quite complicated.

So loving oneself, wholly, everyday, starts the rest of the ball rolling downhill, and I think about how honest and open the conversation is, and about one "knowing" that one can sometimes find it hard to love oneself is certainly not a bad thing, because knowing the self is certainly the gateway to loving the self, right?--i think so---

And I always think of how tied up my spirituality is with the music that soothes me and takes me places I don't get to all "on my own". My spirituality is part of me, who I am, but the music in me allows, or perhaps facilitates, my love for myself, and my knowledge of how blessed I am- and have been.

And I think of how hard it must be to know that sometimes you find it "hard" to love yourself, but also how revealing, and perhaps powerful, that can be--- because if you know you "need" help to love yourself (and by default others), then you are empowered to seek it--- but I'm not talking about going to the analyst, or shrink, although they can be very helpful as well---

"You've Got a Friend"

When you're down, and troubled,
And you need a helping hand-
And nothing, nothing is going in right--

You just call out my name--
And you know wherever I am,
I'll come running,
To see you again

Winter, spring, summer or fall,
All you got to do is call!!!

I always thought Carole King wrote this song for a long lost lover who would, despite bing dumped, always be there no matter what---

But now I am seeing this song expressing something else, the availability of knowing that, just like on tis camino, My Camino, you are NEVER Alone, you are NEVER LOST--

You just gotta call, out my name ( or that person's name that this represents to you)-- many would just call on, or cry out to, Jesus, Jesus Cristo,---- I guess the important thing is you know you can call on the ONE you need, when you need them, and know WE ARE NEVER ALONE----

Me, I take great comfort in knowing this, and always have. It's my "backstop"---when that "old north wind begins to blow"--- but it's also my foundation, my ROCK--from which the river of my life flows.

So a very ordinary wine, and an extraordinary experience, takes me near O'Cebreiro--- and we arrive well past 8pm, with a car taking us the last 2 kilometers as we have no idea where to go as the waymarks are not "lit", and it's pitch dark!!!! And although I am "never" lost, for the second time on this camino I am very happy someone with a car has shown up and suggested I get in--which I do--

Because I know we all have, and we all need, A FRIEND---and just when you need Him He provides--

From the Top of the mountain, O'Cebreiro

Peace
TT
Peace
TT


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Interconnected- from Wednesday

-Jake - is good-
-Wednesday's message from VillaFranca-
-Interconnected
-Going Postal
-The Spirit Lives On

Written Wednesday before the news on Jake, and finished today--
First things first-- JAKE is WELL!!!!!
He has recovered-- but let's' go where I was and take you through my evolving thoughts--

Starting now-- wednesday night, just after dinner, and I have just received the call from Liz with the description and prognosis about Jake, and spent all day thursday in limbo as I awaited word on Jake's overnight survival---

So I'm a bit behind and will catch up, but there's been a TON of walking, --most of thursday's walk is spent distracted on Jake and the family, and the walk is the longest of the Camino (32 kms, 20 miles, last 4 straight UPHILL for 3000 feet to 7000 feet).

Wednesday on the afternoon walk to Villafranca, before the call on Jake--
The following were my notes before the call on jake-

INTERCONNECTED!!!!!!!
I'm buying the idea that ALL things are interconnected, that there is "ONE" us, and energy is either being taken or received all the time--by all the people--

That a pebble dropped in the Pacific Ocean could make a WAVE in the Atlantic, that just ONE thing could trigger another, really BIG thing somewhere else---

I got to thinking about how people, just by their own actions, make or break other people's day's, week's, lives. I mean, yes, maybe the other person "let's" them have that impact, but every individual has ENORMOUS POWER, the power to touch another human being, in either a very positive powerful way, or not so positive. And each individual has the power to REACT positively (or not).

Like the three people thinking about bagging the Bruce concert, then one to the other and they all decide "they're going", and WHAM--- a great event is had.

Or the person who had one bad thing after another happen to them, so they'll be miserable to the counter person at the Post Office, and the next day that postal worker, or McDonald's counter person, or bank employee, GOES "POSTAL"---

All it takes is for that one thing to "break", one way or the other, and then what seems like trivial details are so interconnected that it becomes a "LIFE" event, somewhere down the chain. Sometime's you just NEVER know how much influence you've had, unless someone tells you (I said that before)-- and sometimes you CAN'T know the influence you had (or are ABOUT to have)---you don't have enough information to appreciate the delicate balance of the world you are interacting with, every day.

If we all would "take a breath", and appreciate that everything we do, everything we say, has some (sometimes really big) impact on the chain of events known as life.

It isn't as if we can all use the excuse "somebody did X" so I'm going POSTAL!!!!-- we are all responsible for our "actions", as well as our "reactions" to the way life deals us cards. But it would be nice if we woke up in the morning and every once in a while we caught a negative "chain of events" in motion and stopped it cold--simply because we had enough fortitude/strength/FAITH/HOPE to not let it consume the next receiver of that chain---

When that happens, it's like divine intervention, and we might not "ever" know the real things we stopped from happening, so we just have to be content with knowing we are so blessed that if on more occasions than not we are a GIVER of ENERGY rather than a TAKER, or RECEIVER, of energy-- than that is our role here on this Earth, to be the "giver", so that the TRUE chain of energy in one's life can unfold and show enormous, glowing light.

The giver's have that "light" to give, so they need to be "ready"!!!!!

The "Spirit Lives On"--- speaking of that "light", and talking about energy, has moved me to one of my favorite songs, which ties into this theme, but also expresses the FAITH I have, that the SPIRIT Lives on!!!

It ties into my thoughts on how everything (EVERYTHING) is interconnected-- I know there are many who think life is LIFE, then you die, and that's the end of one's story--finito!!!!

But it's NOT, because THE SPIRIT LIVE's ON---it lives on in all the impact one has had on this earth, and how different tomorrow will be because YOU were here TODAY--again, you might not ever know, but sometimes it's obvious --
It's obvious if you have kids--sometimes it's 'WICKED' obvious because those kids look just like YOU!!!! As in the case of my buddy B!!! He's gone, but his spirit is alive and well in all of us he touched, but also quite visible in the eyes and features of his two son's (and lesser but stilll visible in his girls too)..

The Spirit Live's On-- "Building 429", a young band from North Carolina, but I saw them in Ocean Grove, NJ---all by myself as my kids were all busy--

"Long after life, long after death, the spirit lives on"--
And today, except for that brief encounter with the Scotts'man, I am all by myself ALL day-- and the path moves from suburbs of Ponferrada to paths-- only note on those suburbs--- it seems everyone here has a dog, but here the dogs bark because they WANT to rip your eyes out-- they're German Sheppard's or Doberman's and they are ready to kill ANY pilgrim that would dare to cross into their yard-- fortunately, the chain holding these dog's is as thick as the car's here, so none of these dog's get loose and has there intended desire with me--my dog's bark, too, but they are barking so you come to them and they can LICK you!!!!--

and right here I got the call from Liz about Jake, and I told her I was just writing about all the dogs I saw today--and I also told her he would be okay, but I truly didn't know that----

So, I guess I have two thoughts on this message for myself--- that our actions/impact are so much more important than we realize AND that IMPACT lasts a long time after we're gone-- forever, in fact!! Because the SPIRIT LIVES ON!!!!!

VillaFranca, Spain
Peace
TT
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Jake Update- better

So the Vet's did ultrasound and Xray's and can't really "see" anything, and it looks like it was some sort of "food" poisoning that set Jake so sick.

That is what we hope-- Jake came home last night, seems himself, and now today will be the real test as Liz feeds him and then we see if his digestive system is back to normal--- if that all works we will be over this extreme scare--- Jake allowing Vet's to stick needles in him was just not Jake-like, so Liz knew he was very sick, but this time there were some big differences ulike the two times Jake ingested corn cob's whole and had to have surgery.

I have much to tell you, about the trip to O'Cebreiro, about the ardous and long trip yesterday, about wine with a hospitaliero, -- a lot, but it will have to wait--got some walking to do----

However, one thing-- saw this amazingly big statue of a pilgrim ("monumento do Peregrino" on the web should get you there) at one of the high points on this morning's walk-- Alto San Roque, about 1,300 meters--

Anyway, I wrote a postcard this morning saying "it's all downhill" from here in O'Cebreiro!!!!!! To be clear, and this I'll share, I have NEVER been more wrong than I was this morning!!!! Up, down, up, down, up down, and now, only 10k into today's walk, it appears that we are nearing the downhill--- but I'll be believe it when I see it!!!!

Peace
Tt
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ONLY JAKE!!!!! PLEASE

Jake

Jake--he's MY dog---- and I went to sleep last night (wednesday)thinking he was either DEAD or alive!!!! You see, Jake had ingested "something" and as usual no one knew what it was but his vital's were ZERO!!!!!! And he was letting Vet's look at him, which is very UNJAKE like, as he prefer's to lick visitor's to the house but BITE (more threaten) vet's!!! It's just HIS way---- bit here I was in Spain hearing from my wife how JAKE wasn't JAKE---- forget Moose--- Moose will lick wood and think he's in Heaven-- JAKE is MY DOG!!!!!!! He is the GUY that set's the tone at home, and here I was in Spain hearing that MY DOG was NOT himself, and that he was DYING!!!!! Or something close!!!? because he wasn't himself and had ingested something that had put him into some radical sickness!!!

I KNOW it's just a DOG!!!!!! But if you had seen all the dogs I did yesterday you'd a thought JAKE was the greatest--- because HE IS!!!!!!!! NO DOG on the planet can match him!!!!!

But here I am four weeks away, and my poor wife has to deal with JAKE dying!!!! THE DOG she gave me after 9/11!!!!!! C'mon, Life can't be this unfair!!!(Of course this is nothing of the burdens I am aware of, but still) !!!!!
I know I'm coming home to see my wife after 5/6 weeks, and, as an aside, I am coming home to see MY DOG!!!!!! MOOSE is GREAT--- BUT there is ONLY ONE JAKE!!!!!!

So, I have let my "angels" loose, to help Jake recover----

It will rain on me!!! Which it did today!!!
How bout that-- it RAINED!!!!

But JAKE will be home for my return!!!

Weird or not, this is what's happening on MY Camino today!!!! And Jake Is sick, but he will be home for my return/reunion with him---

I could say much more about Jake, MY DOG, but all I ask is he is there when I return---

And I ask that anyone that has a friend this GOOD gets to keep him/her forever!

I have good friends, but better friends than JAKE are just hard to imagine!!!!!!!

It"s all I can say--- today was the hardest day on MY Camino--- tears, pain, even tears now that I know HE (jake) is better(and alive at the vet as they start their day), but the walk today was a trial!!!!! A trial I welcome if Jake get's better!!!!

I have incredible friends, but ANYONE challenging JAKE has an UPHILL equall to my climb today to O'Cebreio!!!!! You don't want this climb!!!!!!! Trust me!!!!!!

Jake. Come on home!!!!!

Friends, welcome him back home, please!!!! I trust and pray this was meant for my Camino, and Jake's!!!! And (unfortunately, Liz's too)

Peace
TT

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Smiling, "Tightening Up" groove, and the "power" of prayer

Smiling

Not dialing, just smiling and walking--

I arrived in Ponferrada, home of the 'Castle of the Templars', an 800 year old Castle that is one of the highlights of the trip-- and my calf muscles were killing me from the mountains ups/downs of the day before, but started my walk out of the city when I ran into 2 Spanish Pilgrims who suggested/insisted I see the Museo "Yo Camino", which was not in my book. Well, I "almost" missed it--again, but on this Camino things just SEEM to happen--i mean, you're never lost, you're always "on your way", there is "no rush" and there is NO SCORECARD--everyone has their OWN CAMINO-not someone else's. So, I went into the Museo, and I saw 500 - 1000 year old artifacts of the Pilgrim's walk, and where it has taken some (the numerous Pope's, St Francis of Asissi, 500 year old bible's!!!) - statues/carvings/paintings of St James (Santiago in Spanish!!!), Jesus, the Virgin Mary, and it was quite a presentation I "almost" missed. But someone made sure I didn't. I spent about an hour being a "tourist", a first for this Camino (I toured the Castle too!!! Cool enough for a castle). Anyway, the finish of the "Yo Camino" presentation is this very, very long walk through a temporary structure that is a virtual map of the Camino de Santiago itself, and it reiminded me of all the places I've been and of those where I am going---and it made me melancholy!!! I REALLY am close to finishing this Camino, my Camino, and that thought has rarely crossed my mind. I miss my family, and I have thought about how great it will be to be back home again, but right now I am also thinking about being "close" to the finish, and that both a GREAT and also a ???? Not sure of the word??? I WILL MISS THIS, when it ends.
I mean, this has been incredible, so how do you package it up and take it home with you?

I want to continue my experience, and let it take me where it does, as fast (or as slow) as it does, as it is MY CAMINO, so it will be finsihed when I know in my heart I have reached the end. I can't even think of it, but I know it's a lot closer than it was-- I think some people stay overnight a few nights in ONE town to "prolong" their experience-- Me, I stayed overnight in Leon because I was sick, and I stayed in Pronferrada (short distance from Molineseca) because my calves where burning, but also because it just happened that way-- if I hadn't run into those Spanaird's I would have missed the "Yo Camino" and then kept walking.

As it is, I am up the next day cheery-eyed, well rested legs, and SMILING-- it's Wednesday, I am forgetting how tired I was monday night and how pained/strained my calves were yesterday. It's a new day, and I am EXCITED to be walking after the tourist experience yesterday (which was both secular and somewhat SACRED all in one)-- I'm so excited, and I am in a relatively crowded city on my way out, I decide it's appropriate to block out the NOISE of the cars--

So I put my IPOD to work-- I want to "make it mellow", so I select a band from Houston, Texas, that knows how to "make it mellow", and Archie Bell & the Drells "Tighten Up" is on the IPOD--and I am almost bopping down the street (at times I hop, right when the music kicks it) and people are looking at this pilgrim "bopping", almost dancing, with this 30 pound backpack on his back, and one damn-ugly hat!!!!! But I've got my rythym, and I've got this HUGE, HUGE SMILE I am greeting people with-- and it's having it's intended effect-- They ARE smiling back--"buenos", "ola", "buen camino" are some of what I heard back (took one ear out when I approached people)-- and I stopped in a gas station and the two people in there we're all "lift-me-up" positive too!!!!! "Tighten Up" is on my RnB to GO playlist, so "Ain't No Stoppin Us Now" comes on randomly NEXT, and that gets me even MORE BOPPING!!!
And I remember that song being the theme song of the 1984 championship run for the Hoyas, and I remember being in Seattle, Washington with G'Twon down like 12 points to Kentucky at halftime, and I remember Ronny B and me saying to each other --It's OVER-- KENTUCKY doesn't have a PRAYER because their AIN't NO STOPPIN US!!!!!!and we were LOSING by 12!!!!! Smiling ALL THE WHILE!!!!

I remember SMILING !!!!!! I remember one time I was smiling so much it took all the moisture out of my mouth-- I was standing at the Altar waiting for my bride-to-be to walk down the aisle, and she was just taking her first steps toward me, and I was brim-to-brim smiling and happy-- and all I had we're two words the whole ceremony but by the time they got to me and I had to say them I had virtually no moisture in my body, let alone my mouth, so people we're wondering if I had responded-- but my now wife saw me mouth "I do", so that was good enough for Fr Joe, who had seen enough freezing on Altar's to know I was frozen, but in a "good" way because I was smiling the whole time.

So I'm walking and smiling today, and you know I can't even mention the WEATHER--okay, it's cold, cold enough to start out in hat and gloves and wearing almost everything in my sack, but you know I DO NOT have water-proof shoes because all the shoe's I tried just killed my feet--today I'm wearing my Teva sandals to give my sneakers a break-- so I am NOT prepared for a very WET walk---and since that day I sang "Sunshine on my Shoulder" that is where the Sun has been--warm or cold--it's been sunny on my shoulders, and all these pilgrims, like the Scottsman who just left the cafe/bar I am typing these words from (this is his 12th Camino!!!), well all these experienced Pilgrim's are telling me they've NEVER, EVER seen Spain so dry-- (again, My Fair Lady, "the rain in Spain falls mainly on the Plain"-- we'll I've been on the plain for 200 miles without a DROP!!!) yes, I am knocking on wood as I write this, but I also tell them it's "My Angels"-- it's My Camino, and I "NEEDED" it to be dry, and I NEEDED to TIGHTEN UP, and have a "GROOVE", for today---and I just felt like smiling, concentrating on that like I have been when I'm praying for someone, and the smiling works, so now I think I'll pray all those prayer's do "Something, Anything" (that's a Todd Rundgren album, by the way) to effect the needs those prayers are being prayed for. The sick, the needy, the already decease people I am remembering,, the those still very much alive, the friends, the family of those friends, MY FAMILY (the immediate and the larger, greater one)---so this afternoon I'm thinking I'll pray for those prayers, my prayers, to help--all the places I've scattered them--to help ease pain, burden, suffering just a little. I mean, I am "getting what I need here, so I'm praying those others "get what they need" too.

And that LEADS me to Walter Ciszek S.J. - American Jesuit who wrote "He Leadeth Me", about his 20+ years in captivity in Russia--
Okay, how did he get to Russia? Well, first he VOLUNTEERED!!!!! in the 1930's to go there when the Pope asked for volunteers to go behind the Iron Curtain as missionaries to convert people to the teachings of Jesus---he volunteered, and went to Poland, then he got a fake ID and went across the border to the Soviet Union--b/c of course PRIEST's weren't invited!!- and started saying Mass as quietly as an unknown priest can--but eventually he was caught and incarcerated, many years in solitary, and then Siberia if I recall correctly. Anyway, he was released after 20-25 years and came back to a place (home in the US) he didn't recognize in the early 1960's. But he was once again free--FREE-- well, he wrote the words below, which I noted when I read his book this past February (it was in one of my updates!!!)--

And Father Ciszek said:

"The power of prayer reaches beyond all efforts of man seeking to find meaning in his life. This power is available to all; it can transform man's weaknesses, limitations and his sufferings"--

I figure he should know, because he certainly suffered through incredible times and prayer helped him through it---and I am praying for any small transformation's that might take place through my prayers, including those that I might need myself.

Half the day over, ready to re-commence my walk, thinking I've already had a great, great day, and wishing anyone reading this and "starting" their day has a

And now on the cafe's radio station it's Bruce and "Sad Eyes"--- no "tighten up", but if I see any 'sad eyes' this afternoon on my afternoon walk I'll turn em with just a SMILE--
Because they're "ain't no stoppin" me now----

Peace, near VillaFranca del Bierzo, Spain

Have a GREAT DAY SMILING-
Peace
TT

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Veteran's Day ramblings

VDay
Edwin Starr
Vet's and non-vet's
My V Day celebrated in Spain-

Veterans Day-today in the States--
An incredibly long walk to get to home for today--- I arrived after dark----

I know where I'd be and who I'd be with today if I wasn't here in Spain walking the Camino. I'd be going to Bruce in Washington, DC--on Veteran's Day.

Veteran's Day--

I remember May, 1999 standing next to a guy in Birmingham, England- next to a stage. And then all of a sudden this guy takes the stage, and with all the gusto Edwin Starr sings "WAR, what is it good for? Absolutely Nothing!!!".

Occasionally I get the "you're an American? What do you think of your President?"lines from some pilgrims.
Politics--- it's just been non-existent on the Camino--quite refreshing, no CNN, no Fox news, no 57 channels and nothing on!!!! And then a Pilgrim spoils my tranquility with a question (very rare, but twice this week).

But Veteran's Day reminded me of my time standing next to Edwin Starr-- because the guy who facilitated all that back in 1999 was a VET.

And I'm on the TommyT FREEDOM Tour---People, namely Veteran's, paid a price for the American Freedom we all are so priviledged to enjoy.

So on my walk today I thought of Veteran's I knew, and also thought of people I was glad weren't Veteran's.
I'll explain. I remember 1968, and my brother was graduating high school, and he was going to get drafted, or go to college. I was too young for the details, but my brother went to college. I was glad he wasn't a Veteran. My other brother is a Vet, although, fortunately, he never saw a war. But he could have, and so could everyone else who ever volunteered to serve in our armed forces. My father didn't pass the physical for WWII, so he wasn't a Vet. My father-in-law, who I never met as he passed away before I met Liz, was a Vet of WWII and flew B-52's and did bombing runs over Germany.

Anyway, so I thought of all this, and I thought of the friend in grade school whose brother went to Vietnam, and he was killed there. I remember the somber tones in the grade school when we found out, but I really think most American's take their freedom, and the price of it, for granted.

I was at the peak height of the Camino (about 5000 feet), the Cruz de Ferro/Puerto Irago and there were all kinds of memorials laid at the foot of this Cross. I decided I would have my own Veteran's Day service and made a cross of wood and laid it at the foot of the Cruz de Ferro, and said a prayer of thanks for our freedom, and for all those who fought/are fighting in it's name.

Politics. The only thing I'd like to say about the current war in Iraq is this; Iraq is another event which shows Edwin Starr is right. But sometimes there is no Churchill, no real world statesman that can come in and save the day---War or no war-- and wars erupt and people endlessly debate the merits on TV. And politicians check polls before making comments--etc etc etc.

I went to Pearl Harbor last Dec 7th, the 65th anniversary. I saw very old men and their Naval Cap's commemorating their "survival" and what ship they were on. I saw Tom Brokaw talk of these individuals who made up "The Greatest Generation". I see Eastern Europe thriving after a 50 year "economic war", and freedom overflowing.

I sometimes wonder what causes today's American's are willing to FIGHT for? (The American's not in uniform). And I wonder if the Greatest Generation had our current "stomach's to fight", instead of "theirs", would D-Day have been a DEBATE instead of a BATTLE? I mean, Normandy is "over there"!!!

We've been spoiled with freedom, and general peace in our land, and I pray we continue to receive that blessing.

But the world is getting smaller, and hatred, discrimination, and lack of freedom will be very visibile wherever it exists going forward.

Pope Paul VI wrote an amazing encyclical on the dignity of man and basic human rights- Dignitatus Humanae - actually released on 12/7/65. This document, now 40+ years old, tells of the church's belief for all people to have the right to religious freedom (any religion, by the way, not just the Catholic religion), and for governments to protect that right. It is a natural right of man.

I don't find war an easy topic, as trying to establish the more right or more wrong decision is always easier in hindsight. WWII was "right", Vietnam was "wrong", Iraq is???--- all I know is there are people in harms way, and there are too many people not in harms way with opinions. I remember the picture of the old woman with the blue ink mark on her finger in Bagdad after casting her vote. She knows something about freedom that I think a lot of people in America might have forgotten.

I am thankful that America truly allows one to enjoy this freedom.
I recognize, way over here in Spain, that Veteran's all across the land have made that possible.

Peace
TT
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PIX: in the middle of the mountains

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The WATER, The Priest, the Rabbi, and the Children of the World

A beautiful day!!!! AGAIN!!!!!

I'm in Astorga, and the sun is just starting to go down on what has been a great day weather and walking wise.

Where to start?

Over 1,000,000,000 footsteps!!!!!

Kenneth, the danish man who I haven't seen in a while (he's ahead), told me he thought about the 500 miles and seeing he was a math teacher and all he did some work.

It will be over 1,000,000,000 (that's ONE MILLION) footsteps before I arrive in Santiago.

Cool fact, I thought.

Just like 86,400 seconds in a day, or 525,600 minutes in a year.

Where are your next 1MM footsteps taking you????

Me, I'm going to Santiago, then I'm going to "THE WATER"!!!!.
Finisterre, the former end of the world until 1492 when Columbus sailed the ocean blue and didn't fall off the edge of the earth.

But, before the water we have the MOUNTAINS-- I know it's meters this time, and the climb over the next few days will take us up to 5000 feet, the highest point on the Camino-- and of course we get to go down and then back up again a few days later as we head into the more challenging part of the walk for terrain and weather. It is clear the rest I took in Leon served my legs and feet well. I will need it for the up and downs ahead.

I am back on the trail after 2 nights in Leon with whatever sickness I had, I am feeling much better and walked yesterday (friday) and now today I am back in a groove as I've left the city, and it's noise and suburbia around it, behind. The path is peaceful and tranquil, allowing me time to think and reflect.

To the Water--- it's a chapter in Isaiah-- Chapter 55-- about how God invites all those who are thirsty, or in need, to "come to the water".
It's Old Testament, but I thought of it today as I thought about going to the water.

I love the water--- I love the ocean, either in it or sitting on the beach next to it; I love hot showers, or cold ones in the summer heat---and here I am going back to the water. A million plus footsteps later, but I'm getting there. Astorga is ahead of me, and so are all my new friends I will make. I had dinner last night with a Spanish family, the four of us the only ones at the albergue.

Just stopped in Hospital de Orbigo--go on the web and check out this "bridge"--it has a connection and may have been the inspiration behind
Don Quixote--met a family of New Zealanders into the cafe-- 2 boys 18 or so and mom and dad--looking all healthy and all--and they started 5 days behind me--man am I slow!!!

So old friends ahead, but new friends to make, and new stories, to hear.

I got a nice email from Simona ahead, telling me everyone was missing me and when would I catch up--- the community of pilgrims becomes a family quite easily. I have to figure out how top catch them, Alain and Monique, Simona and Giovanni, Kelty--they are all a day ahead now.

Old Testament-- that reminds me to tell you that some of the best, clearest, and beautiful sermons I have ever heard came from a ??? RABBI. Rabbi Joe was a good friend and Rabbi to a good friend of mine-- and that Isaiah passage made me think of my favorite priest, but it also made me think of Rabbi Joe. I remember his speaking, and the way he would tailor his talk (almost for me) to make sure all who were witnessing the Bar/Bat Mitzvah/memorial service were following, understanding the significance of the ceremony and the meaning of it all. I found his ability to connect with everyone, young, old, cool/hip and all to be quite unique and beautiful. I mean, it's a gift--to be able to communicate and connect people, and to give a message of love and tradition and sacredness, all in one. Few have that gift. Fortunately for me, I know a few of those few.

Anyway, that got me to thinking about my children today, each of them as individuals and what wonderful kids they are and have been in my/our (liz/me) life. I had a lot of fun growing up, but I've said it before and I'll say it again, watching your kids have joy is so much greater than your own joy (and also pain is so much tougher). I've enjoyed, and experienced the heights of that joy as my children have grown, and I am hoping/guessing it only gets better!!!
We watched Liz's nephew get married, and now we are watching with anxious amazement as this kid I met when he was like 6 or 8 or something, now we're watching as he and his wife have a BABY soon!!! HOLY COW!!!! I suspect his parents can't contain their own amazement.

It's a gift, that's for sure. It is so true how each person is so individual and different from the next, even if their genes match. I've got three kids, and I love each of them for their "individualness". The girls, well there just plain different people. And the boy, Matt--- he can't be compared because he's a boy-- but they all grew up in the same house with the same parents (and are still growing up, I might add, as is their Dad!!!).

Rabbi Joe, Fr Kev, the Jesuits at G'Town, they all are so talented, in my opinion, to put these feelings into words that allow one to trancend the place we are at, and appreciate it from above. The God-liness of it all.
The miracle of having children, or the incredible giving of oneself to adopt children (a child), has a gift of giving that never stops. And as many have said, there are two sides to the story-- but the gift in itself only has one side, and that side is unique and special(a blessing).

So today's walk had me thinking about my own life, but really thinking about how much I am enjoying the lives of our children.

I am praying for their safe watch, and for same for our family and friends' children as well.

I remember Amy Grant, at Radio City Music Hall, in 1994. Her 'then' husband, Gary Chapman, opened for her (we didn't know who he was, but I found out). Well, he closed his set with an amazing song titled "Sweet Jesus", about a River, an old man (80), and a young mother and her baby boy-- and a flood where the mother and child are caught in the water and the old man, fishing, comes to rescue them, but the mother knows he can only save one, so she gives him the child-- and then he swims to shore, puts the boy safe, and dies--

The WATER still has me!!!
)--and it has been one of my favorite songs ever since.
And the mother, then the old man
Sing
"Sweet Jesus, please won't you hear us, save us"

"Then he was swimming, like he was 20, he made shoreline, then he died"

"Sweet Jesus, please you catch us, save us"

Then it's the boy, now a man, singing

I miss them,
They are the soul inside the man I am,
I bear their dreams

I am walking in their footsteps
I am talking to their God
Sweet Jesus, catch us, save us, hear us"

Well, I hope you get the gist and also hope you can find it should you be moved to-- I can email it should you really want to hear it when I return-

The WATER is covered-- now it's the child(children).

Amy Grant comes onstage, and she is beautiful in sound and the message she has for this crowd. We are in the 8th row center(liz, me, Camy, a friend and her mom), on the aisle so right in the middle enjoying a great show. What amazed me was the number of teenagers who knew every word, every song, and their enthusiasm (Camy was 8yrs old).

So Amy Grant starts singing "For the Children of the World"

"For the children of the world
Every single boy and girl
Heaven plants a special seed,
And we must have faith for these"

"And give them the light of LOVE to lead"

And in the middle of the song she seems to "invite" the children to the stage, but no one is going, so I tell Camy to go ahead up there-- and for about two minutes, maybe three, Camy Thees and Amy Grant are dancing on the stage together as she is singing this song, and then about 100 other kids join in.

I've got more stories where that one came from, but suffice it to say that was one of many moments (Allie and Matt moments too, of course, or I'll be accused of playing favorites!!) where I had more fun and joy being DAD versus being me!!!!!

For those of us who are parents, it's a simple message--

Provide them (our children, God's children) the light of LOVE, to lead-- the rest will take care of itself.

from Astorga, Spain, some (math facts again) 330 miles into the Camino, with about 170 to go--

Peace
TT

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Open Letter to Liz

1) Note to wife
2) Wall Street
3) Dehydration

Dearest Liz:

Arrived in Leon, Spain and it is a beautiful, lively and sophisticated CITY--you and I would enjoy it here.

The cathedral is especially beautiful at night when the entire town's population, who all but disappear from 2pm-5pm, come out to stroll and enjoy some fresh air. They do that for about 5 hours because it seems that no city restaurant has any customers, and therefore why open, before 9:30pm!!!

Anyway, the reason I'm writing is because I was made aware, through the internet cafe I visited and various wall street concerned friends, that THE ENTIRE FINANCIAL WORLD is coming to an END. I know you have heard this before from me, starting in 1987, then 1991, then 1995, 1998, and boy did you hear it in 2002, but I thought I would just make a kind request to you, since I'm kinda on a LEAN budget here, if you wouldn't mind kinda keeping a LOW budget there for a while. You know, like were a TEAM.

While my love for you has grown stronger, just as the "absence makes the heart grow fonder" saying says, I know this request seems a bit trite. Know, deep down, I continue to have that desire to keep you in the style you've become accustomed.
However, seeing as this walk does NOT generate any meaningful financial return (none, in fact), and as I'm all unemployed and such, I thought you wouldn't mind taking it down a few NOTCHES, just till things settle down.

Yours truly, as "always and forever", for better or worse (right?),

Love
TT

So, how you think that's going to go over??????

I thought I would just check in with the real world seeing as I have a cold (from the frenchman Alain, for sure!!!) And feel ill for the first time since I arrived. I wanted to see how my Wall Street brethren were doing, hoping they were well and settled down from that BofA news and such.

So, given some friendly encouragement, and the news that the JETS were 6-2 from DavidC I figured I'd check in on my working world--

A few ticker checks---let's see--

Google-- $7 hundred something-- wow, that's great

Apple- $185+ -unbelievable--must be pretty good there on Wall Street as Apple keeps chugging!!!

GFIG-- one of my financial favorites!!
$90 something!! Up 10+% since I left-

Wow, this is GREAT.!!!!

Citi- $34.50??
Bear- $97!!!!
MS (dear mother morgan!!) $52!!!!??????

And EVERYBODY and THEIR MOTHER has lost like $5 BILLION!!!! And there still counting at some places--like the places where the CEO job is now "available"!!!!

HEY, I'm WALKIN' OVA HEEEERRRE!!!!! (With the north Jersey Soprano accent, please).

I don't think you got that right (unless you grew up in North Jersey, so let's try again---)

"AAAAY, PEOPLES!!!!! I'M WALKIN' OVA H'EEEERRRE". !!!!!!

There, that's better---

Oh, and one more thing-- The JETS AREN'T 6-2!!!!!!! Are they!!!! They'll be playing golf with the Mets soon enough!!!

It's like that sound of a record playing on the sound system and then the guy SCRATCHES the record needle across the album-----ooooppppsss!!!!

When I left for Spain MS was at $66!!!!! not to mention the rest of the financials.

So the financials have taken the proverbial bath----

How great is it to be away from all this---?????

Well, it's not like I PLANNED it---remember, I was CALLED--if I had PLANNED it I probably would have found a job running a sub-prime mortgage unit --IN AUGUST!!!!!

I take no joy in OPP (other people's pain), or my own.

It is what it is, and another of the things I have learned (as I'm sure many of you have too, but sometimes we forget), you control what you can control and let the rest take care of itself. Have a little faith!!!! In yourself, to get through it, and in God to help should you need it (I'm pretty sure we all do!!).

Oh, and one more thing-- as the note to my wife ascribes to--KEEP YOUR SENSE of HUMOR!!!!! Laugh EVERY DAY---if you're not LAUGHING, you're NOT LIVING--

So, I really promise not to update myself and pollute my mind with thoughts like the JETS are 6-2!!! Or any of this stock and bond stuff for a few more weeks.

I've got to recover from this current fatigue of a cold/whatever I have, and I hope it doesn't slow me down too much--but I might need to stay an extra day and try and kick it--we'll see.

For all of us, when it's tough out there, which it many times is,

You have to keep "Pressing On"(dylan)

And I like the version done by the Chicago Mass Choir

-----

Morning update from Leon--
-----
I wrote the above late last night as I was having trouble falling asleep.

Well, as it turns out, my cold was compounded by EXTREME DEHYDRATION--- my body forgot I was taking it easy yesterday and decided to absord all the fluids it could given I've been walking 6-7 hours a day for over three weeks.
Well, I think I mentioned I haven't see any gatorade here, right?

Well, at 3am the cold became the shivers and, as I was in a hostel for the night with my own room since I wasn't feeling well, I actually got my sleeping bag out and used that to try and get warm. And I drank water, which as I recall I didn't have much of yesterday.

It's now 11am and I am feeling better, have eaten, and will find a GALLON of gatorade. And I'm gonna have to stay in Leon another night (didn't eat last night given how I was feeling).

So the scary night has passed, as I prayed it would. The only things I've had for 3 weeks are water, red wine, and cafe (okay, an occasional coke).
Yesterday I didn't have much of anything, and things just got worse all night peaking with that 3am shivers (and this room was heated!!).

Okay, so I'm hopeful to regain my strength today and be back on the path tomorrow, but am going to the medical unit now just to check in.

And I am thankful that there will be a great need for my services on Wall Street when I return, but I think enough is ENOUGH!!!!.

Peace,
And I mean peaceful, tranquil, and boring markets for a few weeks to,
TT

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From the halftime locker room talk with 'myself'

Somewhere on the path, this funny thought started hitting me---

let me digress--
As my feet, in fact every bone within each foot, including bones I didn't know I had!!!, well these bones we're SCREAMING as I stepped one foot to the other, on gravel, embedded rock, rockbed, loose gravel, pebbles, etc, you get the picture--the Calzada Romana, as it is infamously called.
Did it, just like the Romans!!!

This is a walk, but for warmup's I walked the boardwalk and the beach, specifically Long Branch or from Manasquan to Belmar and back. You KNOW, Jersey walks. The difference here is there is NO boardwalk path, and there is no soft, beach sand.

So, back to my thought--
Somewhere in the middle of nowhere, beyond halfway, all alone with one pilgrim in sight (so about 1 mile away) I started to ask myself where in the hell did I get this CRAZY idea anyway.

I'm thinking about who I've met, and I'm noticing not ONE American who is doing the whole trip (I've met three, the Arizona woman who walked for 5 days, and the California couple who now live in Spain and were walking for a few days for "fun").

WHAT am I doing walking 500 miles, staying in shared bedrooms and taking showers with water that auto-shut offs, and sleeping in buildings with NO heat. Oh yeah, with TOTAL stranger, most of whom can't understand me and visa versa!!!!! I've spent the equivalent of one night's hotel room cost for this trip in total, and it's been THREE WEEKS.!!!!! THIS WAS and IS an ABSOLUTELY WILD and CRAZY thing. WHAT am I doing HERE?????

I take some time to ponder this thought as negative undertones are starting to surface.

I'm thinking--- WHAT AM I trying to prove? There is no medal at the end of this trip like when I finished the NYC Marathon (or Boston, San Diego Rock'n'Roll etc).

Where am I taking this "accomplishment"? Which most people on the planet (including me until 3 months ago) haven't ever heard of!!!! There is no GATORADE in Spain as far as I can tell!!!!! Nobody sponsoring me for even a cup of cafe con leche!!! Where's the GLORY in this walk?????????

So all this gets me thinking!!! Lots of thinking--- and I'm pleased to have the challenge (it's kinda like that angel/devil in the ear thing again), as there is nothing, NOTHING at all to stop me from pulling up to the 5 star hotel, pulling out "the credit card that shall not be named", and book myself the first class flight home I deserve.

I can choose that path, or stay on this one.

WE ALL CAN---choose our path--- every day!!!!!!

Well, this thinking has reminded me to continue to evolve the WHY I AM HERE, both on the Camino and in life.

I am on this Camino because it CALLED ME--- the whole thing just spoke to me as a "TOM, YOU NEED TO GO DO THIS--NOW!!!! And I listened.

The "why" I need to do this is less clear, but becoming clearer day by day.

Frankly, I don't think I will be going home the same person that I was arriving. I mean, I'll be lighter!!!! And smaller!!!! For starters!!!

But well beyond that, I feel different. Like nothing, NOTHING could STOP me from finishing this CAMINO---and I am MORE PREPARED to end my sabbatical and pursue the path that opens up.

And I've still got MILES to go!!!!!

But I'm feeling that I'm in the right place and this is the right time (and my wife gave me permission, so THERE) and THIS is still feeling like the perfect event I was meant to do to explore where I've been and to prepare me for WHERE I am going--in all respects.

So, no new flight bookings for me---

Okay, so that "prayer" the Jesus (pronounced 'hey-sus') the priest handed me and Simona--- I had that translated so I could understand it as I knew there would be something in there for me given JESUS gave it to me ( not to be confused with the SON of GOD, but one can't be too sure, and as Tom S says, why not?!!!!)--- so this prayer is a historic prayer and goes through all the reasons why one is NOT here (like NOT FOR the landscape, Cathedrals, not the Rioja wine, palaces or castles and more,)

Well, THE PRAYER said it was unexplainable WHY I was called here, it was just a HIGHER calling---

And that makes me feel really good that I wrote most of the above before I "knew" what the prayer said, and now that I do know, I AGREE---

It is not for words why the heck I'm here--- if I were a rational, "calculating in all aspects" man I'd be touting Bertrand Russell mumbo jumbo at you-- but that's not where I am--- I'm a Mother Theresa fan--- a U2 "believe in what has to be believed to be seen" man---I KNOW I'm gonna see a place that "has to be believed to be seen" because I BELIEVE IT!!!!!

I'm in the middle of MY Camino, and I've got a prayer from a "supposed" man named 'Jesus' that says "why I am here is simply because of a "higher calling"-

You know what? That's good enough for me--- might not be for Mr Bertrand Russell, but for me and Mother Theresa it sits just, just fine.

"No se explicara ni yo
Solo el de arriba lo sabo"

Why'd you do the Camino, Tom? You know, where do you go in the states to sign up for a month long-plus 500+ mile walk where you get to sleep in cold rooms with unknown piglrims-- tell me where I sign up for THAT??? PLEASE??

Simply, for me, BECAUSE IT called me, from above and beyond---

And so far, from below (my feet) and above, all is well!!!!!

With renewed vigor and spirit from just before the biggest city on this walk, Leon, Spain---

Peace
TT
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The picture is getting clearer

Started the walk on caldaza Romana, a 1000 year old path---



Nothing but the path for 24 kilomters (about 15 miles) EXCEPT one road that crosses it 5kms into todays walk.



So we stopped at that crossroad about 5k into today's walk, and out from the horizon comes a man on a bike. "Are you pilgrims", he asks. We say yes (simona (Italy) and I started out together today. "Si, Soy perigrono!!" I say.



Anyway, the man on the bike goes on to explain our options at this crossroad because if we go straight and take the Caldaza Romana there is nothing, nada, but dirt and rocks for the next 13 miles, or we could go the alternate route.



He then explains, as a car goes by, that he's a priest, and he's going from one parish to the next one to say mass (via bicycle, mind you).



He then pulls out of his pocket some pamphlets, writes on the back of one and gives it so Simona, who is doing most of the talking with him. I'm listening.



Then he's off on his bike, disappearing up the horizon, and Simona says he gave us a prayer for the Camino.



And he signed his name on the back for us, too.



His writing said, as translated,



"good camino"



His name?



"Jesus"



Now I know it is not uncommon for people in Spain to be named Jesus.

And I'm sure some of them become priests. And I'm sure some of those priests ride bicycles from one parish to another all the time.



But I can't quite explain how, when I am walking on a remote 1000 year old Roman trail, and at the instant I come in contact with the only civilization (a road) I'm going to all day, at that instant this man shows up and stops and talks and hands us a prayer pamphlet and all, and his name is Jesus.ON a BIKE!!!!!

You getting this picture??? And this

Is the day after "What If" comes on the radio, right?



Okay, back to my walk, you go back to election day (I was informed) and celebrate the fact that all those TV political ad's I haven't seen should be ending, for a week at least.



From near the end of the Caldaza Romana trail for today,



Peace

TT

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WHAT IF?

Wow- I mean WOW weather!!!! Either my prayers or your's, but EVER since I sang "Sunshine on my shoulders" with Thierry and Annapia, that morning when it was grey and lightly raining, the sky had been blue, the stars have been out, and the new fleece has been dumped for another pilgrim as it was just too heavy to carry with so much sunshine!!!!

So, my Camino experience continues to evolve, and it is truly taking me to places I haven't been both physically and spiritually.

So, I am in the supermercado (supermarket, about the size of one half of an aisle in the states) and I'm picking up a few things (FOOD!!!!, and chocolate!!!) And, I'm waiting at the register as the person who works the register does everything else too!!!! Like cut the meat (jamon!!!, of course). And, me being as sonically sensitive, I hear a song come over the sound system (radio)---

"What If God were one of us?" By joan osbourne.

I'm standing at the register, but now I have to look around in this store---I mean, C'Mon!!!!!! You telling me it's just coincidental, right--- I mean, that song comes on all the time, right? RIGHT!!!!! -- NOT- maybe 10 years ago, but I do not remember the last time I heard it-- and here it is playing in the supermercado, where I just happen to be, IN SPAIN!!!!--- going back to my "you have to be aware to see the signs"--- so I am highly confident, and I have NO FEAR in saying, that this song was for ME-- and I'm thinking that God IS one of us, and maybe I will meet HIM on this Camino--

And I'm remembering one of the Brazilians, and what he talked about and how he looked, and it's all starting to run through my mind about how I thought he looked "familiar"---And I'm also remembering a pack of pilgrims I ran into two days ago, a bit more stragglingly then the average I'd seen, and I'm thinking about how judgemental that word "stragglingly" is!!

What If?????

So now I'm thinking God is my DJ!!!

A litte freaky, so I'm keeping my eye, and my heart, open to His arrival should He care to visit-- or maybe I've already met Him along the way--i am open to wherever this Camino takes me, and I am READY to meet whoever I run into. Perhaps I'll just let the tunes continue to flow and see what comes.

Tonight, I'm exhausted--two 18 mile days in a row, and another one tomorrow in the push to reach Leon in 2 days. On the Camino you just don't pick where you want to stay and say "I'll go 10 miles and stop"--you have to do a little planning, especially this time of year as numerous albergue's are closed--so a little planning, and always ready for the lack of heat and a warm sleeping bag getting you through the night.

We are in a town where the one bar is closed today, so the 6 pilgrims here (2 ireland, Lee from Korea, Daniel from Spain, me, and Simona from Italy) have this small place to ourselves and we are pooling our food and stuff to make the meal sufficient for the night. The walk is peaceful and comfortable all in one. Two days ago we had 30 pilgrims at the albergue, tonight 6-- and I hadn't seen anyone all day.

Even still, it seems I NEVER feel lost, or lonely during my walk. I DO feel tired-- so, good night.

Peace
Tt

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PIX:Close to home- for the night, anyway--my feet refused to be included in this picture and have decided to boycott my next adventure!!!!

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QUOTE- "But I know, somehow, that only when it is DARK enough, can you see the stars"

Who said that? Answer at the end so don't go googling!!!

I always say good traders remember every trade!!!!
So, professionally, I remember where everything was in the markets in June '85 (Dollar on the MOON), July 1986, Ocotber 1987, 2/1/94, and 2/2/94 (fed raised rates that day) --- I remember fed funds at 22 1/2% (1982) and I remember them at 1% !!!!!

And, it seems on this walk my memory is serving me well on my personal side as well. How's this for a sentence--ready-- I do not remember the last time I remembered the story about my Mom and the Acme candy story, but somehow it popped into my head yesterday!!!!!!

I guess one of my lessons for myself on this walk is it's good to take time to remember, and it's good not to forget, where you came from. Somehow, I'm not sure exactly how, but somehow it helps you GET where you're going!!!!!!

Me, I know I'm going to Santiago, I think I'm going to Finisterre, and I hope (my wife REALY hopes) I'm going back to work!!!!!!

I guess that leads me to where we are ultimately going-- not Santiago, not work, but that ashes to ashes thing. That ultimate --Heaven, afterlife, wherever you may be headed---

I've been circling this subject, and now this morning my mind is on it for some reason. Memory and memories of where I came from brought me back to times with my father..

I was thinking yesterday about those people that impact you-- about how it is to be sitting at a funeral and talking with people about him/her, the one in the coffin, or "for whom the bell tolls". And I thought about how dumb it is to be sitting in the pew/seat at a memorial service and talking to God-- "God, if you get a chance, tell XYZ how great they were to me and thank them for being such a great influence"--
It's just so much better to let them know when they're still here---but sometimes death just shows up without notice and BOOM-- or POOF, and a bright light in your life goes out (not yours if your reading this, thankfully).

Well I got to thinking about how I'm all happy and on sabbatical and how blessed I've always been---i mean, seriously, am I not the LUCKIEST guy on the planet?? Where's my "pain"-- have I really, REALLY, EVER, had any. Most of what others might have considered tough circumstances were to me natural, so I didn't have one's appreciation for "tough".

What about disappointment, failure, mistakes, errors, sins, etc-- I mean, c'mon, no one's life is perfect, and I've had enough failures/setbacks/disappointment (you think I was HAPPY with GTown's rejections of my dreams???)---.

WHAT ABOUT LOSING, TOM???
One thing I learned when I was part of all that winning when I was young was HOW TO LOSE!!!!! With dignity, grace, and determination to OVERCOME-- You accept defeat, on the field and in life, and you try to learn more from that than you do from success. It's called CHARACTER BUILDING in some corners, and I've had more than my share. But it seems as though I am really blessed with the faith that gives me an optimistic view of these setbacks, because that optimism has been rewarded with a NEW path that took away the pain, dejection or whatever of the old path's end. It's "LIFE LESSONS" that I've learned and get to continue to keep on learning as my old path's get closed and my new paths continue (hopefully, I pray) to open.

But that doesn't seem to happen with DEATH. Death is a finality that doesn't lend itself to optimism, as I see it. There is no "well try harder" next time with death. Finality, finito--
Yes, there's talk of salvation, redemption, resurrection ( and I'm not minimizing that salvation in any way) and people say all the right things, but you're still sitting there with this finality like no other.

I did a pretty good job of both avoiding and ignoring death for most of first 28 years that I didn't even recognize it when it was staring me in the face, in the eyes of my father and his lung cancer. It was June, 1988, and I remember a few nights before he died in the hospital in Toms River, and I remember watching the Mets with him and my baby girl with me, and we had a good time like always. And so I just adjusted to this new setting without a thought of "the end is near". A few nights later (he'd been in the hospital for about three weeks), the night before he died, before I left for home I asked him if he would like some ice cream-- and he said yes, so I gave him some, and then I went downstairs to the shop and bought five more small dixie cups-- because I didn't want him to wake up that night and want some more without it being there. And I'm handing five dixie cups to the nurse and she looks at me and says "do you know how sick your dad is"?-- HELLO, wake UP!! Well, I was awake, but I was just SO UNAWARE-- and I chalk it up to my naivete or whatever, but I just hadn't even THOUGHT about MY DAD DYING--people die, sure, and I'd been to plenty of funerals, starting from when I was an altar boy in the church at 12 yrs old. And I was fairly familiar with the scripture reading "In my Father's house there are many dwelling places" and the other funeral selections, but this mainly applied to OTHERS. And early the next morning I am meeting death for the first time in a way that was so very, very painful-- and although I had 2 brothers and a sister I was so much younger than them we all "knew" each other, but I never thought that we like "grew" up together. And then I saw their pain too, and then I realized no matter how much we didn't know each other, we sure had this person, our dad, in common today. I could see they felt the same anguish, pain, and sorrow I did. And what could we do for my Mom, who all along had talked about how they were moving to Florida and then all would be good. Then, POOF.

Well, amidst all that optimism, all those blessings, ALL the GRACE GOD has given me, when HE takes something away with DEATH it is quite painful. But, I've learned, it is part of life, and what we experience in life.

So that woke me up to this aspect of life that was fortunately peripheral to my life, but now was a core part of my experience, and one that I was really praying would be extremely infrequent and with grace.

Once you go through it you are better able to deal with it, that's probably all I can say. (I'm not saying RUSH into it, either, so you know the experience). And I know terminal illness is a terrible burden, but I've seen many people deal with it in such a graceful and beautiful way that I almost consider it a true blessing to be able to share --to help "carry one to Jesus" or wherever your faith says one goes-- and they get to say GOODBYE--some have even written incredible books that they have shared, which is insight and help for any of us who are dealing with it. I recognized death when my buddy Bakes was dying, and it was incredibly sad and Luke and I knew after a long and courageous battle that fate was taking it's turn with Bakes, his family, and us. But we did get to say goodbye, and we did know, to the degree we wanted to, what was happening.

However, this other "death" event, where when one goes to work one day, and you say "have a good day" while getting off the ferry boat to your friends (or you just get off the phone with your friend!!) and then planes fly into buildings--or when one goes to sleep one night and doesn't wake up the next day-- those sudden events have a whole, unexpected aspect to death that I find even more frightening and fearful.

Bottom line, Death is death however you break it down--- I fear death in every form, despite my optimistic outlook on life. I was even a little scared that song "I'm ready" showed up early on this trip-- and I think I made it clear I'm NOT READY for death-- I have so much more to do, as do we all. I'm so optimistic I've had my wish, should God grant it, for my departure from this world into the next to happen many, many years from now (+50 would be ideal) while sitting on a sunny beach listening to a favorite 80th generation IPOD tune in a deep, deep napping sleep and simply "fade away"--

Okay, so that's my wish. And I find myself on occasion always praying for safety, for me, my family and friends, etc-----

More frequently, not less, it seems, the parents of my friends are getting older and the concept, topic, and event of death is showing up nearby. All you can do is be the friend you are, and give the love and care you have to give. I always thought it was important to simply "show up" whenever a friend, colleague, or aquaintance had suffered a loss of any kind-- as I remember (there's that word again) how grateful I was for all my colleague's who went out of their way from NY to show up in Toms River for me. It's in me.

It's so permanent, it's sad. But while painful to think about my dad's death, even today, on this Camino, one has to give thanks for the blessings on experiences with that person while they are here. Time does seem to help heal those wounds, and new paths do open up, but it stays with you in some way, shape or form.

And it's a little scary here on the Camino, because the word suicide has shown up with a few people I've spoken with. They are glad they are on the Camino--and so am I, I tell them--so the word is a fleeting "past tense" usage, but I try and impress upon them the theme that you always have people who LOVE you so much more than YOU KNOW, and there is always a Camino out there waiting, no mater how DARK the darkness on the egde is. NO MATTER HOW DARK---and I think they agree-now.

I guess it's important to make sure people get on a good CAMINO and meet good people should they living in that DARKNESS--- Based on my experiences here in Spain this is an incredible place to meet people who open the skies to light--- I mean, I have no idea what most of the people I've met do, but I know they have a spark for life and are ready for where it takes them. That's age 19 through age 68, from ireland, england, USA, Spain, France, italy, Japan and all those other countries I've mentioned----so I've got a wide breadth of exposure to form this opinion.

Sometimes we all go through this type of DARKNESS, and I'm praying for the pain to subside. I'm just a walking man, but here we are in Spain talking about life, and now, death.

"But I know, somehow, that only when it is dark enough, can you see the stars"-- Who said that?
???
No one ever get's this one, either (refering to my "when was the civil war" question if you're really a blog reader).

???

I remember Martin Luther King's (if I had ONE hero growing up, it probably would be him-- and I remember EXACTLY where I was on 4/4/68) speech just before he died, about how "like any man I would like to have a long life-- I think he said "longevity has it's place" and "I have been to the mountaintop"--"and I have seen the promised land".

And that night in Memphis (it was 4/3/68) MLK talked about many things--the dark before we can see the stars, and he spoke of the Good Samaritan. He imagined why the other's passed the man in need while the Good Samaritan stopped and helped. MLK said it was "fear".
Fear for safety, or something else.
Fear is common in regard to safety and life.

But I take comfort in his words, spoken so courageously and prophetically on the eve of his death--and his faith and confidence in God's will.
THIS MAN had no fear!!! GOD's WILL be done!!! And his KNOWING we will all get to the Promised Land.

I pray we have a happy and safe and longlasting life, and we accomplish a lot of those "WHY am I HERE" things during that long life, and then a graceful, painless and dignified exit from it.

I'm an optimist, what do you expect me to be praying for!!!! But, accepting that fear that I have, I trust that every day I apply myself to the "why I am here" that certainly, if nothing else, "God's will" will be done. And that lighten's my fear a little bit, and it makes a long walk lighter too.

From just about halfway,

Peace
TT

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