I'm at lunch, it's 1pm or so, and i've finished the morning walk up -- oh, did i say 1500 feet-- i think i did--oops, that was 1500 METERs!!!!!!! So, backpack weigh's too much (12 kilos), and i left the camera home because the cool internet connect feature only worked stateside and the charger weighed 2 lbs on its own. So i bght a disposable here.
St Jean is behind me, and i've experienced walking in France like never before!!! And it's only my first morning---
So why am i writing NOW???? I stopped for lunch so i wouldn't forget all that i thought about.
Maybe i'm wrong, but i think, based on small feedback, that a number of you are anxious to hear about this "adventure". My family and relatives are here by obligation!!! Okay, so maybe they really like me enough to want to hear my updates. But the rest of you who took the time to find the blog and are here now reading this!!! Why, i asked myself? And what, if anything, do i owe those who come here, looking, seeking?? Whatever?
I can't say i know, nor can i say i will be writing a lot, but this morning's experience left me with a lot of different thoughts---so i'm sharing and if this is meant for you, then i guess you'll know it and i'll have done my task of connecting things that need to be connected.
Okay
I'M READY!!!!
That's a song- by Tracy Chapman-- and it's in my head the whole morning!!
I'M READY, to have the rivers wash over me,
I'M Ready---
I wanna go, where the rivers aree overflowing,
I'M READY
Go to itunes and listen to the 15 second preview to get my gist.
And that song just keeps on playing in my head, and at time's i just sing it outloud, because there isn't a person for miles(kilometers)!!!!!!
I left the albergue after paying Jean-Pierre the 12 euros, and after saying goodbye to mike and mary (canada, going home tomorrow after walking in france for 6 weeks), meaghan (been walking from BRUSSELS and will be going to Santiago but reating for a few days in St. Jean), and another woman who had walked from GeNEVA, and she's resting a few days too. I'd' say they've earned a few days rest!!
And I'm a morning into it!!! But what is behind me is the steepest and toughest part of the Camino, they say. The rest of the residents have already left for their walk.
I'm READY--- this is a very slow song in Tracy Chapman's deep, bring you down voice!!!!! And -i'm on top of this hill (MOUNTAIN!!!) Looking over the valley below, and the view is spectacular-- there, i just checked-YUP, i'm here and the cheese and saucison and pain' (bread in french) are here--wow.
The view of the valley and mountains is all i can see, and i'll fait beau!!! It is a great day, a little hot and i was dripping wet when i sat down!!
Probably lost 10lbs on the walk up.
Ready? I'm READY for what??? And a river washes over me-- and -I'm thinking the sweat was almost like a river--and it sure washed over me--
And i'm an hour in and it's "okay, and i'm thinking "I'm ready" for this walk--
Maybe not in a physical way (but i bet i'll be ready physically when i'm finished)
"I'm ready" is a mental, in a spiritual, in a existential way. Wow, going deep.
I figure if you're here you don't want to hear about just the sights-- you want to know what else is happening inside-- again, can't promise i'll be able to articulate--- but at least today "I'm Ready"...
What else do I need to be ready for???
Death?? LIFE??? PRAYER? A WALK?
Yes, this is known to be a religious pilgrimmage, and my intentions are both sacremental and secular (lose weight and be healthy being my main secular objectives!!!)
I'm Praying that all those that need it- to BE READY, to know that an illness, an affliction, or a known event seems very likely to be causing their end (death) to be near--I'm Praying that they are READY!!! And that they are at peace in this world and that, should it come, that they, and the loved ones they are going to leave behind, will find peace when they are in the next world.
So that is what first came into my mind. People on this list have people who have cancer, who are suffering from ALS, who have ailments that take away from life's enjoyment, and I'M praying for them and theirs. I'm praying that we are all READY for whatever RIVERS will wash over us.
And then i took out my prayer list (not that long, actually,) and i prayed for those on it. And their families.
I'm READY---for the rivers to wash over me-- i wanna go where the rivers are overflowing--
I'm READY---
And i'm thinking that I just prayed for all the people i was going to pray for!!!!! So NOW what do i do for the next 29 1/2 days!!!!!
I know most of us don't have an illness that tells us we're going to die soon, and i'm praying WE'Re RIGHT!!!!
And i'm praying that we take time to comfort those who need it.
"Reflections on my life", a song by, of all groups, the Marmalades ( i think), a one-hit wonder--itunes it for 15 seconds if you're over 35, buy it if you're under 35 because you've never heard it--
"The changing of sunlight, to moonlight"
"People in trouble", oh "how they fill my eyes"
"All my sorrows, sad tomorrows, take me back, to my own ....
All my crying, feel like dying"
Or something like that--
And it's an awfully sad song, with a catchy tune, and a cool meaningful title, but awfully sad, as if the author's wrote it knowing they would only have one hit their whole life!!!!!
Anyway, one line sticks in there---
I'm changing everything, everything around me--the world is a bad place, bad place, BUT I DON'T WANT TO DIE"
Okay, so -I'm writing and crying and all now myself, and the words "all my crying" keep coming to me--- and i can't say why i'm crying except i feel the words flow like poetry and i can't type them fast enough-- and this is just using my thumbs on my bbery!!!!!
Okay, sweat and tears gone--
-- you're gonna get extra credit for spending some time with this, so feel free to listen to this song and you'll get the picture, or maybe you'll just say TOM HAS COMPLETELY LOST HIS MIND and left for outer space!!!
But that, through "all my sorrows"
, Tears, and how "bad the world is, and i'm thinking that , you know, IRAQ, illness, death, hate, bigotry, discrimination, injustice, divorce, AIDS, poverty, accidental deaths--teenage driving deaths--child custody!!!! These things are the headlines!!!
Well, through all THAT, I'm thinking the world is a place for HOPE
And FAITH. It just is, and those that lean more heavily on faith and hope and TRUST might be able to enjoy life more, and know more of it, than those who spend their energy despising the current circumstances.
Wow, how's that for starters??? Who knows where this is going, and i've just ordered un autre coca cola, so lets keep going.
LOVE!
You can't LOVE without TRUST. How's that for pontification!!!!
Sadly, one of the last things i saw before i left NewJersey was Monday's (10/15th)Today show. The DONALD was on touting his new book (yes, he has one)
Can't spend a lot of time on this but it just popped into my head--- when i used the word TRUST-- i remember that Donald said in his interview that he "trusts" very few people, and he's learned that it doesn't pay to trust people, and that is one of the reaons he is so successful is because he doesn't trust many people.
Tautologically, then, Donald doesn't LOVE many people if he doesn't trust many people--- maybe that's whats wrong with the world???
More LOVE, more TRUST, and a better world we will have. Simple as that. Donald, have fun with your untrusting success, and i'll stick to finding more people to love. Trying to think who i wouldn't trust with my kids??? Trying??? But it's hard-- most people i know are loving, and worthy of trust-- even with my kids.
Yeah, i've been burned a little here and there not being political and being TOO TRUSTING--- oh well, that's me!!!
And -i'm by myself for the next month so i'll keep me !!
Okay, back to songs--
2nd half of the morning, and i'm walking and "long walk home" by BRUCE comes in to play in my head-- new song, everybody i know is going to the show tomorrow night at MSG, and now Allie's (my 18 yr old college frosh)boyfriend Jack won backstage tickets to be with Little Steven from the radio ( i know this because allie asked permission to go through our topsecret family only email, the one i am reading on this trip--i will read all the email, but when i get home-- you can always post a comment to the blog, and i have to approve those so i'll see them when i am stopped at night and have internet--)
Okay, "Long Walk Home"
So it goes off in my head from last wednesday's' show at continental ( i see the stage and everything, even though on a lonely road in France)
And i think on how much fun Allie and Jack will have tomorrow (today, actually)
And i think about the song--
"Everybody has a reason to begin again"!!!!
Yes, that says it all---back to that HOPE thing!!!!
And i'm looking out over this magnificent countryside, this one lane road, and the fact that there is no Suburban or extra large Escalade running me off the road (they wouldn't fit), and how everyone i've met today is at a pace of life that seems quieter, and i think this song is saying something to me about how we've made all this progress and all, yet somehow we're leaving behind the most important part of who we are, and what we are called to be, and what we should be doing with the gifts and blessings that God has given us..... And, for me, this walk, "long walk home" that it is, is my chance to reconnect with that something i might have left behind--what??? I don't know??not sure?? But it's my chance to reconnect it in a permanent way so i don't leave it behind again--
And there,.... Back to the song-- with "Sal's Barber Shop" and my "father showing me the flag and how where WE LIVE is a beautiful place to be born" ---knowing that it is something to be proud of, i'm hoping we all can make that long walk home, or back to, that place of inner peace, outer peace (as in no wars), back to that place that we stood for and stand for in idealistic terms---and make it a real part of our daily life
Okay, so now i've got something wonderful to pray for inny 2nd half of the day---
I trust that, no matter how long you walk "home" might be, you can see where it is and know that with hope, faith, TRUST and love that you, and, we, can get there.
Okay, lunch place is closing, and it's time for me to get a moving on!!!
Walk On
Peace
Tt
I've got a Long Walk Home!!!!
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