1) The weather
2) The Earth and the Sky meet
3) Heaven -"WHY AM I HERE?"
4) My heart, and yours
1)
My sleeping bag is really warm!!!
How do I know? Because occasionally (like last night) I stayed in one of those less posh albergue's with no heat, and it is absolutely FREEZING here in Spain--and I slept warm so I know!!!!
We are in the mountains at about 3500 feet, so it is chilly in the morning. But, I heard there was SNOW nearby yesterday and if there is any precipitation it could be SNOW!!!
SO, HAPPY HALLOWEEN from Spain!!!!
The big city of Burgos, and it's magnificent Cathedral, are behind me, and the mountain plains of the Meseta's and I will get to know each other for many days.
Did I say we are at 3500 feet? I mean, for one second-- then, of course, we descend, we climb, we descend etc--- all part of the fun--
I bought ski gloves, a head/ear wrap, and a warm fleece type reebok thing, so I am , yes I am , I AM READY
Once again to get moving cold or warm.
Okay, so my new fleece takes up half my sack and weighs a bit, and while I was looking for the ultra-thin and water/windproof biking type gloves, I settled for parka type ski gloves-- which are very BIG but worked great this morning---
2)
We are in the Meseta's, mountain plains, where the "sky touches the earth" as Simona (Italian girl walking the camino for the 2nd time because the scallpp shell saved her ife in a car accident in Italy) says. Simona and I walked today as she did some stuff in Burgos and arrived at the small albergue as well- a nice familiar surprise. It is so pleasant to run into people you are now familiar with--back to that community of pilgrims.. Well, at our peak morning height we almost could- touch the sky, clouds, white (cumuli in Italian)cumulous, not rain, we're above us, the sun found a window to the earth and I took picture of the sun rays piercing through the clouds and reaching down---
3) Heaven
And I wrote that title for today's note before I started, but now I have been lead to a song-- and I put it on--Simona is well ahead of me and while we start together I am back to that familiar "alone and walking" pace-- and sometimes I sing what I want to hear, but this time I pulled out my Ipod and listened to "Heaven", by Bar Scott--i mean, I felt close enough to heaven I might as well--and I've seen this song performed live and she's a friend as well- so it just hit me- and sure enough, it took me back to the Beacon Theatre in 2002, and how Bar just LIFTED us all out of our seats, as if she wouldn't settle for a simple "performance" of the song--
This was an audience participation song---"WE ALL FALL Down, and we get up again, we all get up"--and we all pretty much did get UP!!
And now I'm on the Camino, and I'm listening to "Heaven", and then-
"Why am I here?" Why am I here, ashes to ashes, we all fall down, and we get up again" part of lyrics from the song-- and right there in the song is the question I'm continuing to probe and throw out there-- --" Why am I here". I know the song, but was moved to listen to it today because of the sun, earth and sky, but then this complexity of thought enters into the equation UNEXPECTEDLY-- and so I listened again to hear more of what the song meant to me, but also to think about what Bar was thinking when she wrote it-- it's so much more complex than I thought--and realized that would be hard to know her feelings, I probe more of my own on the "why am I here"?.
So I went back to my thoughts on Heaven, and how blessed I am to think I've had the experience of Heaven in my life on occasion, and thankful for those experiences. Pretty bold statement, since I really don't know "heaven" except for those feelings I have--but if heaven can be as good as I have felt during those moments I identify as heaven, well then I think I'll be pretty happy "if and when" I get there. As I go one foot in front of the other I am in no rush to Santiago or Heaven!!
In the meantime, I get to see, hear (with my music and just nature), and feel heaven in my life through the joy and love I share with my family and friends (includes working colleagues, my buddies, my townies, the whole lot of you). And perhaps a little insight is shining on me like those sunrays peaking through the clouds, and it's telling me !!!
I know why I am here---!!!!!!!
I am here, wherever I am, to create and share whatever piece of heaven I can between me and those I interact with.
That's why I am here!!!!! Or maybe I'm misreading something or not? But that's what I'm feeling, and it seems so simple, and so good, and just about right-- to create those moments for myself and the people I love such that we all feel like HEAVEN is shining down on us, daily, regularly.
I know I fall short, or fall down, but I get up again---
What was that verse from Tracy Chapman-- "I've conquered hills, bit I've got mountains to climb"!!
Wow--- again, WOW!!! And then I think that is way to bold, perhaps I'll just settle for being a good guy and friend and stuff-- but I don't mean create in an architechtural way, like I can just plan it and wish it-- I mean through being myself, and seizing opportunities of connection with those people whom I care about, perhaps the "why I am here" will just appear between us because of the sharing of caring and love--
4)
Kenneth, the danish guy, came AT ( I mean AT) me two or three days ago, after I had an interaction with a Spanish man asking directions, and he made an observation to me that I have yet to share here--- he said "people can see into your (my) heart right away in an easy fashion"--- it was a bit broken english so that's what I remember, but I probed him about what he observed that made him say this--
I hadn't thought I was so "soft", but this 62 year old danish man made a call-- so maybe "I am here" to open my heart wherever I can--to whomever I meet--- and see what comes back!!! I certainly would say I've met a lot of people with open hearts on this Camino--
And perhaps this will lead me back into my non-walking world with a better sense of purpose and caring-- I really think some things in my mind are "changing" on this walk, but it's no time for conclusions or anything like that--- the "why am I here" will evolve, the "what am suppose to do" next will evolve, but I like my thoughts from this morning (yes-- this was all just the morning!!!)
Most importantly--- I don't know how this sounds to the reader, so I'll footnote this that I say what I've said above with the humilty of knowing I, and all of us, have extreme limitations on what we do know and can know, so I humbly submit these thoughts knowing that this is one simple man's thoughts--
Heck, that one song had me fairly well complexed and confused, so I leave with you the knowledge that Heaven above, and the knowledge of it, is fairly safely intact despite my efforts to get closer.
I, for myself at least, have a long way to go before I know more.
Submitted humbly, as all these thoughts are,
From Hormillos del Camino-
Peace,
Tt
Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T
3 comments:
TT- Ok, so I'm good with the google-earthed myself comment. I would categorize that as an idiom- some form of the language that is specific to it's own usage. What that did, tho, was prompt me to google-earth where you are, and where you have come from-geographically that is. Already, quite an impressive walk. But google earth doesn't readily show the "trail", as it's probably too small to be seen overhead. But following the map as originally identified in your 2nd, 3rd, 5th or whatever treatise about this walk, I see where you are going, but I think it has to be believed, to be seen. Geez, that sounds familiar. While you are clearly making mileage progress, I am more impressed by your mindage development. Things aren't clear yet, nor is there a guarantee that specific focus will be achieved, but there seems to be a trend, maybe a sway, a lean, not yet a swim, into a headwind that I'll identify as a "being for others happiness". This feeling, that type of being, that minnow against the psunami, that rage against the machine, certainly for you doesn't have to be a contrite feeling. For me, yes, part guilt, part apologist, part reflective rewriter of history (I could live in communism in some ways). But you, no. It's not there yet, the larvae are forming, but is a bit amorphous and needs, in the end, more definition and, importantly, limitation. The definition will evolve as you continue to think about the world as outside it looking in, at the world, not just at yourself. The definition has to be you, in you, part of you, not contrived to FEEL like it's you. It has to be natural, the next order, the next improvement, the better version. It doen't always happen, it doesn't HAVE to happen, but for those who will improve thru life, who leave this place a little better for them beimng here, for people who others appreciated for being here and being in their lives, thats a move to a more inflective (sheaism) plane that is a glory unto itself. The impact of that move is immeasurable, that refusal to consider that move untenable. Limitation? Simply, you are not right, to anyone but yourself, so preaching, demanding, constant pushing for others to reach the plane you are trying to maintain would at the minimum make that place unattractive for others and a burden for you. I think thats where the term slippery slope comes in. But, the right to think that world goodness is attainable is not only God-given, but God inspired. If we all try to make everyone's life better, we will. If we force everyone to be better, thats tyranny. Love you T, may the wind be at your back, and may it be dry. The Fed announcement is in 2 minutes. See ya. TS
Amigo
Nosotros pensamos de usted todos dias. Buena suerte and saludos.
Su amigo Marcos
PS - like Bob and Mavis...I have seen H-a-w-a-i-'i
Tommy-What an amazing journey you appear to be on! Im enjoying your daily updates not to mention TS's comments. I guess dinner on the 18th is off but I spoke to Joe we both send our best for a peaceful and safe journey.
BTW, Jets are now 6-2 and MS trades at 90 so no need to be focused on those earthly issues
DC
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